The impact of being alone with God in prayer cannot be overemphasized. – Streams in the Desert
Being “alone” and “lonely” are vastly different things. In my own mind, however, I have a difficult time separating the two. Somewhere, deep beneath any surface-level piety about the importance of solitude, I have a lingering fear that in time spent alone, the specter of loneliness is necessarily looming in the furtive shadows, waiting to pounce. That must be why I surround myself with a nearly constant barrage of noise. The radio is on. The pundits chatter away about politics and sports. The TV emanates its softly flickering visual noise — shadow puppets I can barely recall. I create endless nearly-perfected playlists of music. Eventually, all the chords and all the drums and all the voices merge into a blurry whiteness. I do things. I do “really” important things that make me feel like I matter.
Nearly all of it points to something — a hard truth to swallow: I am afraid of being alone. In the still moments of my life, who knows what will be revealed? What horror waits in the quiet?
So, against my better judgment, for Lent (the traditional 40 day on-ramp to the foot of the cross) I gave up a portion of that noise. One of the places I’ve decided to minimize my dependence on noise is in my car. Now, I drive in my car without noise. I hear all the bumps and rattles of the road in high definition. Louder still, I hear the bumps and rattles inside myself. Those are much clearer. So far, I have had no spiritual epiphany. Jesus has yet to write to me a personal message with some unseen holy finger in the morning fog of my side mirrors.
As I’ve driven, I’ve yelled, out loud, literally. I’ve had long monologues directed at unseen passengers. I’ve become quite adept at playing the steering-wheel-drums. Apparently, even when there’s no noise, I have to make noise. The stillness of solitude, despite all I may know for the better, is something I still resist. Perhaps, by Easter, I’ll find my way to see the beauty in what God wants to teach me when I embrace more completely “the impact of being alone with God in prayer.”
This weekend we’ll wrap up our UNLEASH the IMPOSSIBLE series with a heightened focus on the poor and the marginalized masses in our community and in the world. Just a reminder: immediately following both services, we’ll have a serving opportunity for you and your family on the patio. Come wearing a t-shirt and some comfortable shoes. Don’t worry about lunch, we’ve got you covered. We’re bringing a slice of last summer’s Serve Day to our patio.
See you Sunday,
Jeff
