I got a great picture of the Church this past week. It’s a perfect example of being “in the community for the community.” I was inspired:
Two nights ago, I heard a knock during dinner. It was John. He lives a few doors down. His son and mine have become fast friends. As I opened the door, John peered through the window to our dinner table. He saw we had guests over. It was obvious he felt the imposition he may have been making. Nevertheless, he motioned for me to come outside as he asked for some “pastorly” advice.
“Ok. Sure, John. What is it?” I say.
After closing the door and making our way outside, away from curious ears, John explained to me about his neighbor. She’s elderly. Her husband died about a year ago. And, for the past few years, as her husband’s health was on the decline, John has helped around the house. To this day, he helps carry in groceries. He does a bit of handy-man work when needed. He takes her trash out to the curb every week. Apparently, she gave him the moniker “Good Neighbor John.” John explained that she’s recently received some tragic health news. It’s serious. Hospice care has been called.
I nod.
“What am I supposed to say?” he asks. His furrowed brow and deeply concerned eyes say a lot.
He’s like so many of us (myself included) — afraid he’s not going to be able to say the right things to a hurting person. He told me he’d written some things down that he might say to her. But, he’s frozen with the fear of not knowing how to piece together the correct words. It’s almost as if he believes what he says will make or break his relationship with this family he’s loved dearly.
“John, you don’t have to say anything specifically. You have loved her and her family for a very long time. People always wonder what they’re supposed to say in a situation like this one. You don’t have to have perfectly crafted words. Your best words have already been spoken in the compassionate love you’ve demonstrated. Let the family know you’re heartbroken at the news that things have taken a turn and that every time they hear the rattle of the trash can lids being dragged out to the curb, you’re praying for them.”
“That’s it?” He asked again.
“Yeah. John, you’re more a pastor to them than anyone has ever been. You’ve been given a great gift of compassion and love. You’re being the Church. You’re showing them Jesus. You’ll know what to do, and even what to say, if there’s something more required of you.”
Very rarely are there perfect words. But, there is always an opportunity for compassion. Given the choice between words of precision and great compassion… I hope I choose the way of “Good Neighbor John.”
See you soon,
Jeff
