I woke up this morning in a tiny cabin so cold my own breath was plainly visible around me. The interior air was a stifling 39 degrees. I slept fully-clothed, wearing a sweatshirt, pants, and socks with a sleeping bag pulled tightly around me. Any exposed skin ached in the early morning hours. My head screamed for a cup of coffee as an emerging headache made its unrelenting demands for its daily sunrise caffeine therapy. In the tiny room packed with four bunk beds and a futon, there were supposed to be three others in “it” with us.
Somehow, those brave sons of ours — those formerly intrepid “others” committed to sleeping in the cold lower room of a poorly heated cabin as a right of manhood — those young men managed to find their way to warmer spaces in the cold of night. At 9:30 in the evening we had reached an agreement. It was a sacred man-pact. It was understood that we’d take one for the proverbial team. All the boys would free up the best beds in the warmer recesses of the cabin for other people. It was the intent of two dads to create a learning moment for our sons. We’d help our boys learn how to serve other people choosing something less desirable for the sake of some others.
Of course, I suppose being both a pastor and a dad, I’m prone to make too many things a learning moment. I’m often circling the wagons, telling everyone to take a knee for an aphorism or a nugget of fatherly wisdom that ought to span the generations. As a father (and someday a grandfather), I want to parent my kids into a future in which they have courageous, compassionate, and daring hearts. I want to point them toward Jesus. I want to meet them in mercy and understanding when they miss that target in the same way I want to be understood when I miss it. I want them to choose wisdom without legalism. I want them to discover that love is better than being correct, (no matter how often I get these two confused). I long for them to know both the fullness of truth and the fullness of grace. I want them to know I love them. I want them to understand that having more, newer, and better stuff will only leave them wanting more. I want them to be around caring adults who can pour into them.
Over the next two Sundays, we’ll hear from two adults who cared about me in my adolescence. This Sunday, Scott Rachels, my junior high pastor will teach, kicking off our new series: THINGS I WISH JESUS NEVER SAID. Then, in the following week, Doug Fields will teach specifically to parents. There are so many people in our community , like me, longing for answers and direction on this particular subject. Doug will be supplying our Mariners MV community with a free resource for the people you invite — a best-selling parenting book. So, over the next few weeks invite parents to hear from people who have “been there” — who know what it’s like to try to build into kids what we hope they’ll become.
See you soon,
Jeff
