Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. – Proverbs 4:23
I spend a lot of time and effort trying to “control” my heart. I suppose I spend even more time trying to control other people’s hearts – my kids’ hearts mostly. Emily Dickinson famously said, “The heart wants what the heart wants…” So, if she’s right, “control” may not be the best way to deal with our heart.
The proverb says “guard your heart.” Not control it. Guard it.
How is a heart guarded? Presumably, we’re supposed to put up some kind of soul-gatehouse restricting the visitations of unscrupulous trespassers. We are to evaluate all the things that might corrupt, ruin, damage, or poison the neighborhood of our souls. For my kids’ hearts, I’m hyper-vigilant. Granted, I can’t control everything for them. Hopefully, I’m giving them the tools needed for constructing their own guardhouse. But, I’m watchful for everything that ought to be prevented access. At my worst, I catastrophize about all the potential evils that could corrupt their innocence – worrying about an intruder, intent on scaling the walls and running roughshod all over the good work I’ve tried to accomplish as a parent. The guard I imagine at the gate of my kids’ hearts – the one who works for me – is on constant alert. He’s probably a bit overzealous with his walkie-talkie and his flashlight. He’s overly suspicious of everyone. He’s annoying. No question about it. I like that guy.
Now, about my own heart and the manner in which it is guarded: I am far more permissive in handling those same villainous infiltrators that threaten my kids. Sometimes, I give special passes and back-door entrances to the things I know will poison my heart. I make excuses and justifications for things that could endanger, not only my heart, but those I love. In many ways, the things I’m most often worried about for my kids are the unprocessed issues in my hidden life – things I’m not willing to deal with for myself, things I’m hoping to spare them from experiencing. But, the person hired for the protection of my own heart: He’s been working a long time. He’s watching the World Cup on his computer. Occasionally, he takes a nap. He’s really not being held accountable for the job for which he’s been hired. I would never hire him for my kids. Though, I’m pretty OK with him watching over my heart.
Recently, I had “the talk” with my oldest. I came face-to-face with the reality of how important the work of heart-guarding is. I’m transitioning him to become a person who can staff his own guardhouse. Right now, he wonders about stuff. He’s curious. Soon, very soon, he’ll start wrestling with desire. At that point, and for the rest of his life (ours too), the “heart wanting what the heart wants” will primarily be an issue of what kinds of things have been allowed to pass the guard-gate to take up residence there. Because, with regard to the heart, “everything you do flows from it.”
This Sunday, Doug Fields will join us. Continue to be the great inviting community that you are. Invite some people to come with you. It’s going to be a great weekend.
See you Sunday,
Jeff
