Introduction // 5 minutes
What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?
Sample answers may include…
- Always be yourself
- Honesty is the best policy
- Develop good listening skills
- Stand by each other no matter what
Observation // 10 minutes
Read Ephesians 5:15-21
What does wise living look like?
Sample answers may include…
- Looking carefully at how you live (v.15)
- Using your time well (v.16)
- Living every moment with care (v.17)
- Understanding what God wants you to do (v.17)
- Being controlled/directed by the Holy Spirit (v.18)
- Choosing to live a lifestyle of worship (v.19)
- Living full of thanksgiving (v.20)
- Submitting to, preferring others (v.21)
Understanding // 10 minutes
Where do you see wise living? Where don’t you see it?
Leader Note: Frame this question in the context of relationships. The aim here is for the group to consider where they see this passage in real world terms. Lead them to “look out” and think about where they’ve seen this passage on display in the lives of others.
Application // 15 minutes
Where are you currently living wisely in your relationships? Where aren’t’ you and what changes can you make?
Leader Note: You may simply ask in light of your past or your future hopes in your relationships “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” Most people have a tendency to run to the negatives – for some reason it is easier to confess relationship weaknesses than claim strengths. If your group stays on the negative, you can take this opportunity to affirm others in areas of their relationships that you have witnessed as strengths.
Commentary: It’s very easy to allow things such as pride, anger, selfishness and entitlement to direct how we live. The passage tells us that wise living is fueled by our connection to the Holy Spirit. When we are connected to the Holy Spirit we become more aware of God’s will and are empowered to live how He wants us to. We also become thankful worshippers looking to serve and prefer others above ourselves.
Live It Out // 5 minutes
What if we lived this out? How might our relationships be changed?
Leader Note: As we intentionally try to create health in our relationships, there may be resistance from the other person. If you sense this is something group members have experienced, remind them that we are to live in obedience to God through the power of the Holy Spirit. We cannot control the reactions or behaviors of others. We work to improve relationships, but the ultimate outcome is in God’s hands. Trust that He is working.
Prayer: If your group has just revealed some relationship and relational problems they have in their lives, it may be a good idea to come around them and pray for them. Pray that God will supernaturally heal those relationships that seem beyond repair and that each heart will be open to forgive and to forgiveness. Pray for willing spirits of reconciliation and cooperation in ongoing relationships.