Author: flowmaster

Philippians 2:3-8 // Love Without Walls Wk 3

Date:  October 20-21, 2012
Series:  Love Without Walls
Message:  Changing the World
Passage:  Various

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

When was a time you got help from an unexpected source?

Leader note: Think about different aspects of your life and people who have helped when you needed it.  Maybe you were running up against a deadline at work or school, and someone you wouldn’t expect to help you came alongside of you and helped you finish.  Maybe it was a check coming in the mail that was unexpected. 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read John 1:1-5,14,18 and Philippians 2:3-8, Mark 10:45, Matthew 20:28, 2 Corinthians 8:9 and Luke 4:18.  What do you learn about Jesus’ heart?

Leader note:  The passages reveal a lot about the heart of Jesus – but you will need to push your group to see it.  Have them read the first passage and say, “What does that reveal about the heart of Jesus?”  Then read the next passage and ask again.  Keep pushing it until you think you have gotten all of the answers from each passage.  Some will have several points, others only one or two – depending on the length of the passage.

Commentary:  Some of the answers you are looking for are:

John 1:1-5,14-18 He is creative He is full of unfailing love He is humble – became flesh – self-giving He is eternal – He wants to be with us He wants us to know Him and He knows us He is loved by the Father – knows what it means to be loved He is faithfulness He’s trustworthy He’ll never leave Always who He is – doesn’t change

Philippians 2:3-8 Humble – thinking of others BETTER than Himself – puts others first Gave up privileges He is obedient Unselfish Wasn’t trying to impress Not vying for position Sacrificial Giving up his life Pays our penalty Wasn’t clinging to status or position Loves God Focused on others

Mark 10:45 Gave his life He was a servant He was all in He was intentional – this is why He came Embraces his servant hood

Matthew 20:28 He wasn’t here to be served He was the King that should be served – but he served others

2 Corinthians 8:9 He was rich – became poor – humble Gave up everything

Luke 4:18 Took good news to the poor Cares about the poor, brokenhearted, marginalized, rejected

Which of these statements surprise or startle you?

Leader note:  Look at the statements from each of the passages – are any of them new thoughts for you?  Do any of them surprise you?  What about the thought of Jesus being in the position to BE served and serving instead.  It wasn’t just that he was a nobody – he could have pushed his position of King and have been served by all, but chose to serve.  There are many startling statements because of the position of power Jesus had and gave up – no one can identify with holding the position of God, and deciding to become a servant – that is startling.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Where have you lived out Jesus’ heart?  

Commentary:  You may want to talk about Rooted experiences with serving, or how your group has become involved in serving since Rooted.  Some examples would be:  it could be an individual effort or as part of a group.  It could be in your community on your own, or through the Outreach ministrie and there partnerships.  For instance, helping a neighbor who has mobility issues, working periodically at an orphanage, or doing some work in Mexico.  Maybe you have done some random acts of kindness like helping with a flat tire or giving money to the homeless in your neighborhood.

Where have you missed living out Jesus’ heart?

Leader note:  Consider both blatant and subtle misses.  Maybe when they were passing the basket in church for Outreach ministries or other causes you looked in your wallet and had a $10 bill and a $20 bill – you gave the $10.  You could have given the $20 – or even both!  Is there a group of people that you hold subtle prejudices against and you avoid engaging them, or helping them when necessary?  Think of those standing on the corner, at the grocery store.

What stops you?

Leader note:  We talked about a lot of these last week:  fear, think they deserve their circumstances, don’t want to enable, etc.  Ask yourself if you have changed your opinion or your reaction to those in need since your discussion last week.  If so, how?

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where do you want to lean in more where you do live out Jesus’ heart?  Where do you want to lean in more where you don’t?

Leader note:  Look at your answers from the previous questions.  If you are already helping the homeless, how can you help more?  When you look at those that you are missing completely – how can you lean into them.  If you avoid the homeless, maybe you can serve at a soup kitchen.  Maybe you can buy a meal for a homeless person. One great idea someone had was to buy them a gift card for groceries so they would have the dignity of shopping for food as opposed to it being given to them. Think of any groups you avoid and see how you can begin to lean in and serve them instead.  Maybe you have a neighbor who drives you crazy, maybe you can help them with their yard work, or bring them a homemade dessert.  Perhaps you avoid Mexico – maybe you could serve at Minnie Street or our learning center on Wilshire.  For ways to serve, visit our Outreach website for ideas.

Pray: As you end your time together, thank Jesus for the model he set of a servant.  Pray that God will prompt you to an area of service that honors Him and stretches you a little bit.  Pray for each other in the areas you are trying to lean in where you miss having Jesus’ heart and for the compassion and desire to serve in those areas you avoid most. 

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would be different in our community if we all lived out Jesus’ heart? 

John 9:1-12, 30-34 // Love Without Walls Wk 2

Flow Questions October 13-14, 2012
Series: Love Without Walls
Message: Armed for Change
Passages:  Mark 1:40-45 and John 9:1-12, 30-34

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What’s a big time-waster in your schedule?

Leader note:  Let your group consider those things that tend to take up parts of their day that could be better spent doing something else.  Think of things like traffic, Computer time or games, errands, etc.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Leader note:  Divide your group into two groups (even if you have a smaller group this will work), give one group Mark 1:40-45, and one group John 9:1-12, 30-34.  Tell them both to answer the question, “What do you learn about compassion from the story?”

First group read Mark 1:40-45.  Answer the question, “What do you learn about compassion from this story?”

Leader note:  A good definition for compassion is:  anger and frustration at injustice that causes us to act

 

Commentary from Mark passage:

Compassion is not status conscious Compassion demands a response
Costly — an untouchable person was healed
Compelling
Contagious — people came from all over the area
Compassion testifies to the Father 
sends the leper to the temple… as a testimony.
priest declares someone clean, also declares that Jesus was Messiah (only God heals sickness)
Compassion is not for show — “don’t tell anyone”

 

Commentary from John passage: 

It’s the work of God
It doesn’t care about status of the blind man – couldn’t have had any power, he was born blind, people had scorned him figuring he deserved his position
It’s hands on — mud in his eyes
He used what was available to him
It brings light into the world.
the work of compassion was an interruption, was just going about a normal day
responding to something that wasn’t part of his day 
source of the man’s problem isn’t made an obstacle to the healing work of God
not for show, humble
hard to explain, most couldn’t understand the how   

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

What kinds of injustices do you know about that cause people to mobilize into action? 

 Commentary:

Injustices-

  •  Human trafficking
  • Clean Water  
  • Racial reconciliation
  • Inner city
  • Mentoring disadvantaged students
  • Education inequities
  • Orphan-care
  • Abuse — sexual, physical, others.
  • Homeless/Panhandlers

What are reasons for avoiding compassion (getting involved)?

Leader note:  Think of barriers or excuses that keep people from “getting involved” or trying to be part of the solution.

  • They think the problem is laziness
  • They’ll be ungrateful if I help
  • They’re just uneducated
  • they didn’t manage their money well
  • sexual orientation
  • legal status is a put off
  • they made poor choices – deserve where they are
  • they’re dangerous or it’s too dangerous
  • Too busy
  • They already pay welfare with their taxes
  • Changing one doesn’t matter – (One isn’t going to help, and more than one is overwhelming)
  • They feel like they don’t have what it takes, or don’t know where to start

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

If you were to possibly get involved in one of those injustices, which would it be?  Why?

Leader note:  Have your group consider some of those injustices you listed in the previous question, or any others that come to mind.  Below is a list of the contacts and next step for those injustices listed above.  If the injustice you identified is not on the list, and you would like to be part of a solution, please get in touch with Alicia Crain at acrain@marinerschurch.org and she will help you connect with the people who can help move your solution forward

 

What would be one step you could take and what’s keep you from it?

Leader note:  IMPORTANT – Leaders, this is not something you need to lead – when your group selects those injustices they would like to get involved in, ask one of them to be the leader for this part of the group. 

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would happen to us, what would happen to those around us if we moved at those injustices?

 

RESOURCES AND NEXT STEPS

Human trafficking
(Divine) – Contact Jaime Hindman, divine@marinerschurch.org;
First step:  Christmas Craft Night, December 5th, Rm. 206 7-8:30p, Training & Outreach Dec. 22nd 6:15pm-12am, Room 204

Clean Water
First step:  Purchase Water for Water in the café to support water projects around the world. Or donate directly to the water project at marinersoutreach.org/give
Contact: Jonah Haase at jhaase@marinerschurch.org

 

Racial reconciliation (Sri Lanka)

First step:  Is the Gospel Relevant?  Sun, Oct 21, 12:30-2p, Upper Room, Irvine Campus What does it look like to be the church in the world today where 6+ million people have lost their lives over the past 25 years to the civil wars in Congo and Sri Lanka? Hear from our partners, Pastor Adrian DeVisser from Kithu Sevana Church and Congo missionaries Camille and Esther Ntoto, about the relevance of the Gospel in the midst of the atrocities today.

 

Inner City (Santa Ana)
First step:  LCC Experience, Thur, Nov 1, 5:30-7p, Santa Ana,  Come to the Lighthouse Community Center on Minnie Street and hear about the ways to engage in this ministry through tutoring, youth groups, teaching adults, etc.

 

Mentoring
First step:  Provide hope through establishing a relationship with foster children and at-risk youth in a few hours per month. This is an opportunity to serve and empower others by giving a child hope in their future. Contact: Elizabeth Bader, elizabeth@positivecoparenting.com

 

Education (Santa Ana)
LCC Experience, Thur, Nov 1, 5:30-7p, Santa Ana,  Come to the Lighthouse Community Center on Minnie Street and hear about the ways to engage in this ministry through tutoring, youth groups, teaching adults, etc.

 

Orphan Care
First step:  (several options)

  • The Walk (monthly youth group at mariners for foster youth),
  • Foster Kids Christmas Party,
  • Safe Families,
  • Prayer Team,
  • Adoption event on November 13th

 

Abuse (children)
First step:  A Children and Family center facility that provides temporary shelter for at-risk children in Orange County who were victims of abuse, neglect, and abandonment. Lend a hand with crafts, a pizza party, games and sports activities, or just spend time hanging out with the children. Volunteers much be 18 years or older. Contact: Tom Guy, tguy106@yahoo.com

 

Homeless
First step:  (Several options)

  • chili van – contact Bryan Crain at bryandcrain@gmail.com, every Thursday, 4:30-6:30p at the Santa Ana Civic Center
  • skid row – contact Fred Gladney at gladneyf@me.com, Serving on a quarterly basis
  • lighthouse church – contact Stephanie Chang at stephaniechang9@yahoo.com , every 3rd, 4th, and 5th Saturday of the month 2-5p at Lighthouse Church in Costa Mesa [Nov. 17th and 24th are Thanksgiving meal serves]

Philippians 2:1-11 // Love Without Walls Wk 1

Date:  October 6-7, 2012
Series:  Love Without Walls
Message:  Status Update
Passage:  Philippians 2:1-11

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

When was a time you experienced excellent service from someone?  Poor service? 

Leader note:  Keep this to pretty short answers.  Have people think about restaurants, shopping, airlines, DMV experiences, etc.  It would be fun to talk about both the good and the bad.  But don’t go too far on the bad side.  Ask what made the good service good.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Philippians 2:6-11.  What is Jesus like?

Leader note:  Notice that you are starting with verse 6, you will look at verses 1-5 in a few minutes.  But for right now just look at 6-11 to answer this question.

Leader note:  As your group answers by observing the text, ask them to put it in their own words.  For instance if they say He is like God – ask, “what does that mean?”  That will bring out answers of how He is powerful, etc. and get your group to think past their preconceived ideas and will help you take them deeper in the discussion.

Commentary: 

He has position of power/nature of God
Does not use it to his own advantage – self-limiting, gave up diving privileges even though He didn’t stop being God – surrendered his status/rights
Became human – like us, relational-knowable, vulnerable
Humbled himself – not served but a servant – humble servant
Became obedient unto death…on a cross (ask why the cross? – criminal’s death, he took on sin, violent death – satisfies justice) – sacrificial
God will exalt him to the highest place – equality
Given a name above all names (those living and preceding him in death)
Every knee will bow (he regains divine privileges)
To God’s glory

 

Now read Philippians 2:1-5.  What are followers of Jesus like?

Our identity is to be a humble servant

(embrace the attitude Jesus had:  surrendered His rights and status, be knowable and vulnerable, be a humble servant and not be served, be sacrificial and self-giving)

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

How have you seen people react when they expect to be served and receive poor service?

Leader note:  Give your group a chance to talk about people (anonymously) who they have seen react to poor service in a restaurant, hotel, travelling, airlines, doctor’s office, hospital, any other place they expected “to be served” and it didn’t go their way.  What are the different reactions people have?  Have your group discuss this in a manner where they talk about those who extend grace by forgiving and not harassing their “servers” and those who react with anger, disappointment, etc.

 

How have you seen people react when they expect to be served and receive great service?

Leader note:  How do people respond when they feel as though they have been “served” well.  For instance, a meal for free if it was late, vouchers for additional flights when a flight was cancelled or overbooked.  

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

When was a time you served with the attitude of Jesus?   

Leader note:  Keep the four key points in mind:

  • status – not using position or power when you serve
  • Being knowable, vulnerable – this would require relationship and revealing your story
  • Humble – intentionally not expecting anything in return, not even thanks
  • Sacrificial – it had to cost something that wasn’t easy to afford (time, travel, giving serving priority over something you wanted to do, giving above what was easy to give)

 

Which of the qualities do you struggle with?

Leader note:  If you have time, follow up this question with “Is it right for a Christian to ever feel like they should be served?”  You can also send your group home with that thought as they head to restaurants, gyms, home to their housekeepers or babysitters, their office where they oversee staff, etc.

 

Pray:  As you end your time together, ask the Holy Spirit to intervene when you become less than humble in your expectations of service or serving.  Confess silently those times you know you were served and either felt you deserved it or overreacted when it didn’t go well.  Ask for an overwhelming desire of humility to wash over you as you consider places to meet or exceed needs of those around you and for God to give you an opportunity to demonstrate your story and His restoration power in you and through you.

 

LIVE IT OUT

How will we have this attitude of Jesus toward the poor and marginalized in the next few weeks?

Flow Questions for Sep. 29 & 30, 2012

Date:  September 29-30, 2012
Series:  Uncontrollable
Message:  Uncontrollable Grace
Passages:  John 6:50-58  1 Corinthians 11:23-30

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

What are some of your favorite memories?

Leader note:  Spend just a few minutes on this question and then move through the other intro questions.

Leader note:  Everyone should be able to think of one or two – usually they will think of the big events in their lives, that’s okay, let them reminisce a bit.

Commentary:  Some examples of answers you may get from your group –

Wedding – theirs or one they attended
Watching sunset in Maui on honeymoon
Proposing to wife, or being proposed to
Backpacking, rafting, fishing, skiing with family, or other vacations
Kids being born, adoptions being finalized
Being accepted to college, getting a new job

 

Talk about your memories – why are they so important for us to remember?

Commentary – Some of the reasons memories are important –

They mark milestones
Define a point in our life/define our life
Keep us grounded
Give us identity
Remind us who we are

 

What are things you did, things you remember, you wish you could forget?  

Leader note:  These are those embarrassing times in your life – where things played out in your mind better than they did in real life.  Have your group think of a couple of those memories – they don’t have to share if they don’t want to, move to the next question.

Follow up with this last thought:  “What do you learn about memories?”

Commentary:

Emotions come back with the memory
Change the details sometimes – make it worse than it was or better than it was
They grow
 We let memories define us
We internalize them
In a way, memories define who we are

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES 

Read John 6:50-58 and 1 Corinthians 11:23-30.  What should we remember?

Leader tip:  Make sure you respond to each answer, either have them expand on their answer or rephrase it if they just read from the text.  For instance, if they just say, remember the bread, ask them what the bread represented, really get them to consider the meaning behind the directive to remember – why it would be important.

Commentary:  Some of the answers your group should get –

Bread – remember his body – Emmanuel, he came to be with us, flesh and bone, from heaven, brings eternal life
Cup – remember the blood shed for us, His death, once and for all, forgiven, new covenant/agreement,
Remember what He did
Remember why He died
Remember the seriousness of it – don’t take it lightly
Remember regularly, often
Those who eat His flesh and drink His blood remains in Jesus, and He in them

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Jesus tells us to “remember” what is Jesus afraid we’ll forget?

Leader note:  Spend 10-15 minutes on this question.  There are things we need to remember and things we need to forget.  A good way to ask this question is to make two columns on a piece of paper, ask, “What are we to remember?” then before moving on, say, “What happens if we forget that?”  Look at both sides of the answer before moving on.  It will help you as you move into the application question.

Commentary:  Some examples of what your group may come up with-

Need to Remember  …                               if we forget….

He came to be with us                                 we feel alone/abandoned
His death/burial/resurrection                        We fall back into the “have to do’s”
His forgiveness                                            We’re not able to forgive others
His body/flesh and blood                             We can’t have real relationship – it is just spooky ghost-like thing
Honor the body of Christ                              We get a lot of “should” in our life
His blood shed                                             Minimize His capacity to cover ALL sins – limit Jesus
The New Covenant/arrangement                 Go back to everything is conditioned to my work
He broke the power of sin                             Sin dominates and controls me – I have to do it
List of things I’ve done was cancelled           Create my own list or others do and it becomes powerful
He came to be part of community                  Lose value of community, of the family of faith
Blood/curtain ripped – access                       I am not fit to come to him/dirty
Fulfilled promise                                              Won’t believe the rest of the promises

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

What do you need to remember?  What do you need to forget? What does God choose to remember?  What does God choose to forget?

Leader note:  Spend 10-15 minutes on these questions.  Ask all of them of each person who answers, one at a time.  First ask, what do you need to remember?  What do you need to forget?  Once they have answered that, ask them, “What does God choose to remember?” And, “What does God choose to forget?”

Commentary: Some sample answers-

I wasn’t part of a family when I was a child, I need to forget that I was an orphan, feeling like I’m not worthy of a family, didn’t deserve a family.  I need to remember I am loved, I am part of a family.  God chooses to remember I am His loved child, I am adopted into His family and have all the advantages of being part of that family – feeling loved, part of something, worthy, a sense of belonging.

I need to remember Jesus conquered the power sin has over me and need to forget old ways, forget hopelessness.  God chooses to see me as a new creation in Christ.

I need to remember Christ died for me and I am forgiven once and for all.  I need to forget the shame and guilt and brokenness of my past, I need to forget feeling worthless because of those things I did, less than, unworthy, ugly.  God chooses to forget all of my past, he remembers and sees me through the blood of Christ – I am clean, forgiven, righteous through Christ.

When I choose to remember it defines certain things in my life.  If I choose to remember Jesus died for me and love me I can’t hold onto self-hate, feelings of failure, feelings of not being enough, not being worthy, not forgiving.  God chooses to see me as a new creation in Christ, He sees me as worthy, forgiven, righteous, he forgets my old self

 

 

Pray:  You may choose to take Communion/Lord’s Supper in your life group.  If you do, pause to remember what it means that Christ came, in the flesh to be with you, what does that mean to you personally?  Pray silently and then say out loud, “this is my body, take this in remembrance of me”, then take the cup of wine or juice, remember what it means to you personally that Jesus died for you, once and for all, covering your sins so that God chooses to see only the blood of His beloved Son when He looks at you, what does that mean to you?  Pray silently.  Then say out loud, “this is my blood, drink it in remembrance of me”.  End your time together praising Jesus for coming in the flesh to identify with you, to be with you, to understand everything about you, and for taking your sin upon the cross, dying for you so that you can be in right relationship with the Father.  Spend time quietly asking for forgiveness in any areas you require it, and then asking that God will help you to remember His incarnation, His sacrifice and His love for you in a whole new way.  Help you to remember those things you need to remember and to forget those things you need to let go of forever.

 

LIVE IT OUT

Who can each of us tell our story to this week?  What will that look like in our community/world?

Flow Questions for Sep. 22 & 23, 2012

Date:  September 22-23, 2012
Series: Uncontrollable
Message: Uncontrollable Power
Passage:  Psalm 62

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

If you could change your first name to anything, what would you choose?

Leader note:  This is just a fun question for everyone to be able to jump in and answer.  Follow up with “why?” when they answer.  While it seems to be a throwaway question, there may be answers that reveal something else.  For instance, if someone gives a name and says, “I knew someone with that name who was so beautiful” it may be because they don’t feel beautiful.  Or possibly a name of someone who is successful and they feel as though they have failed.  This is particularly good to use if you will be doing the “Labels” activity at the close of your time together (specified below).

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

Read Psalm 62.  What do you learn about a “God only” vs. a “God and” lifestyle?

Leader note:  While you can use any translation for this discussion, the NLT contains the words “God alone, He alone” and the NIV does not, while it is implied.  We are including the NLT translation at the bottom of the page if you prefer to use that.  The commentary will be written using the NLT translation.

Commentary:

God only
Resting, patience, waiting on Him
Victory comes from Him
He is my rock
He is my salvation
He is my fortress
Our hope is in Him
Honor comes from Him
Protects us from our enemies,
He is trustworthy in good and bad times
We can come to Him with our troubled hearts
Power belongs to God
Unfailing love is His
He is just

 God and ____
People are not trustworthy, two-faced, can’t depend on them, don’t have our best interest at heart, want to destroy us
Have nothing to do with unfairness in dealings
Wealth should not be the center of our life

 

From your own knowledge of David’s life, what did he hold onto besides God?  (What was his God and ______ lifestyle?)

Commentary:
Held onto God and
Power
Army
loyalty of people
stature
strength

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

What are things people hold onto in addition to/or instead of God?

 We hold onto

Health, Money, Cleverness, Intelligence, Talent, Ability, Security, Pleasure

 

What does it look like when people live a “God and..” lifestyle?  What are the results?

What does it look like when people live a “God only” lifestyle?  What are the results?

 

God and _____

Results:

Feel hopeless, desperate,  They are undependable
They are fleeting
People can be knocked down when they hold on to these things
Find they are not enough, in all circumstances
Feel like God let them down
Feel like they failed or are unworthy because they don’t accomplish what they wanted
They hold onto rebellion, sin

         

God alone

Results:

They confess their failures, and their successes belong to God
They forgive and ask for forgiveness
they are grounded, bad news is put in perspective
They feel hopeful
They don’t feel abandoned or alone
They believe there is a reason for what they are going through
They worship
Their lives reflect their dependence and humility – is attractive to others

Leader note:  If any of your group members have specific stories of people they know (maybe without using names) who have lived these lifestyles that would help the discussion.  One recent sad example of someone holding onto their own ability and position is the Olympic Coach of the Russian Women’s Volleyball team who committed suicide after a poor showing at the Olympics.  When we live with our hope and trust in fleeting ability and reputation, and fail – there is hopelessness.  An example on the other side can be seen in the life of Matt Barkley where USC received sanctions guaranteeing he would not participate in a bowl game for two years, yet he held onto God alone, and believed he was placed at USC for a reason.        

 

Personal application story:  Two parents of young children have been in a life group with other parents who are living a “God alone” lifestyle in raising their kids.  Hearing them confess their struggles, and admit how hard parenting really is has helped the other parents talk to each other, forgive each other for shortcomings and co-parent in a more unified way.  They realized they were living a lifestyle of “God and our own ability” and “God and our own reputation”.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where are you living a lifestyle of “God and…”  When have you lived as “God alone” and what were the results?

Leader note:  This moment is a “God only” moment – have them say I’m letting go of ______.

 

Personal application story:  One woman who recently celebrated a milestone birthday was living a “God and youth, puffed up dreams and expectations, believing “I’m less than”.  When she let those go, and clung to God alone, God told her she was enough.

 

Leader note:  One fun idea at the end of your time together would be to have two bland labels for each member of your group.  After they talk about what they’ve been holding onto, have them write the label for themselves they have taken on, or was given to them by others.  Put that label in a trashcan you have placed in the room.

Then on the label that God gives them when they hold onto Him only, and have them wear that one as they leave the discussion time.

 

Examples of Labels we take on:

          Successful

          Reputation

          Unworthy

          Failure

          Rich

          Poor

          Unemployable

          Undeserving

          Stingy

          Greedy

          Selfish

          Athlete

          Popular

          Immoral

         

Labels God gives:

          Worthy

          Loved

          Forgiven

          Wealthy/Co heir of Jesus

          You are enough

          You are not alone

          Valued

 Leader note:  The labels people hold onto can indicate a stronghold that needs to be broken.  If you notice that in your group, plan time to pray with them, follow up with them.

 

5.  What does it look like to the world for a group of people to embrace a “God only” lifestyle?

 

PRAY:  As you end your time together pray for God to impress your new label on your heart, to give you glimpses into the victories that come from a God only lifestyle, and to convict you of other places you need to “let go” and depend on, worship, surrender to God alone.  Conclude by reading aloud together the first two verses of Psalm 62.

 

Psalm 62 (NLT)

I wait quietly before God,    
for my victory comes from him.
2 He alone is my rock and my salvation,     
my fortress where I will never be shaken.

3 So many enemies against one man—     
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall     
or a tottering fence.
4 They plan to topple me from my high position.     
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face     
but curse me in their hearts. 

5 Let all that I am wait quietly before God,     
for my hope is in him.
6 He alone is my rock and my salvation,    
 my fortress where I will not be shaken.
7 My victory and honor come from God alone.     
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
8 O my people, trust in him at all times.     
Pour out your heart to him,     
for God is our refuge. 

9 Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,     
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,     
together they are lighter than a breath of air.

10 Don’t make your living by extortion     
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,     
don’t make it the center of your life.

11 God has spoken plainly,     
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
12 unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people     
according to what they have done.

Flow Questions for Sep. 15 & 16, 2012


NOTE:  There are two sets of flow questions this week, one for Irvine, and one for Mission Viejo.  Please use the flow questions that correspond with the weekend message you heard in church.

 

IRVINE

SERIES:  UNCONTROLLABLE
MESSAGE: UNCONTROLLABLE GOD
DATE: September 15-16, 2012
PASSAGE:  Genesis 4:1-16

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

When was a time you got mad at a referee or umpire during a game you were playing or watching?

Leader note:  If you have parents in your group they may think about one of their kids games.  You might have people who have recently watched a big game on TV (Olympic event, basketball finals, world cup match, tennis match, baseball game) and they can talk about that.  Encourage them to comment on each other’s episodes – it will encourage discussion for the rest of the group time instead of question/answer and back and forth between you and one member at a time.

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Genesis 4:1-16.  What do you learn about Cain, Abel, and God?

Leader note:  You may want to break this text into two parts.  Read up to verse 7, answer the first question.  Then read the rest of the verses and answer it again along with the rest of the observation questions.

Commentary: 

Abel:
Second born son
Is a rancher
Gives favored offering to God
Is killed by his brother 

Cain:
Firstborn son
He’s a farmer
Gives “some” of his crop as (first-recorded)  offering to God
His offering is not looked on by God with favor
Knows what is right (at some point – maybe before but definitely after he gave the offering), there was an acceptable way to make an offering, Cain chose not to utilize it.
Gets  very angry
Gets a chance to answer God, change his offering
He’s downcast – shows he is hurt
Murders his brother
Is banished but yet protected

 God:
Looks at Abel’s offering with favor
Does not accept Cain’s offering with favor
Heart matters – offering reflects heart
Asks Cain why he is angry?
Gives Cain a chance to stop, to self-analyze and enter back into relationship (Grace)
Let Cain suffer consequences, yet protects Him (grace)
God can’t be controlled, either by doing good (Abel – ends up being murdered) or disobedience (Cain gets extended grace)

What would Cain’s feelings have been?

 (what he may have answered to God’s question “why are you angry?”)

You’re unfair, you choose favorites
You always liked him better
Mine is never enough, my best is never enough, I can’t win
I failed
He just outdid me on my idea – he stole my idea
People judge me too harshly

What were the consequences of Cain’s anger?

Cain killed his brother
Abel does everything right (as far as we know in this story) and yet is killed
God warns Cain and gives him freedom to decide what to do AND then protects him

                Total Freedom = other people can be hurt and hurt us.

God protects Cain, but banishes him to wander

  • Cain feared that God didn’t love him
    • Yet, God protected him
    • God gives him the effects of sin
    • Cain feared his own death

 

 

There is a formula for revenge/vengeance –

Formula:

 

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Where do you see this formula play in in the world?  What were the results?

Leader note: Have your group think of recent times where they have seen this formula played out until the end, or stopped somewhere before vengeance/revenge.  Think of stories in the news, and personal applications that you may have seen in your own families, workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, etc.  Talk about both the positive and the negative, where have you seen grace of forgiveness before it even got to anger?  What about after anger but before they harbored it until they were bitter and resentful? 

Commentary:
When we act out in anger we wind up in isolation
From others or from God
Natural consequence of broken relationship from anger

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where are you in the formula? Where are you hurt?

Where in your life have you started down that hurt/anger/resentment/revenge road and stopped it?

Leader note:  Have members of the group consider where they have been hurt, either recently or in the past.  When have they stopped the progression?  Where are they now if they haven’t forgiven or dealt with the hurt? 

 

Pray:  End your time together thanking God for His uncontrollable grace, and for the way He models forgiveness for us.  Ask that He convict you of where you are moving from being hurt further toward vengeance, pray He stops you to ask you, “why are you angry” before you move into bitterness, and gives you a spirit of reconciliation and peacemaking.

 

LIVE IT OUT

What if we really dealt with our feelings before progressing in the formula, how would that affect our family, community?

 

 

MISSION VIEJO

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What would a perfect picnic look like to you?

Leader note:  Some people in your group may not like picnics.  That’s ok, ask them if they could “move” the picnic inside, where would they take it.

Commentary:  You may like the planning and execution of a great picnic.  Preparing the food as well as all of the accompaniments is fun for some, or maybe it’s the thought of being outside somewhere – maybe the beach, or a green park, or in the mountains.  It could be the company at the picnic that makes it perfect. 

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Matthew 14:13-21.  How did Jesus show he cared about the people?  What was the response of the disciples?

Leader note:  Make sure you put this passage in context.  Remind your group that Jesus would have just found out about his cousin, John the Baptist, being beheaded in jail.  He would have been in a state of grief.  If you want you can read the passage (verses 1-12) to your group first and then proceed into the story for the study this week.

Commentary: 

Even though Jesus would have been tired and in a state of grief he looked at the crowd and took compassion on them.  
He healed the sick.
He gave them his attention.
Jesus wanted to serve them, make sure they were taken care of, fed.
Before giving the bread and fish to the disciples he looked up to heaven, and he blessed the food.

The response of the disciples was one of selfishness – send them away…gave reasons they couldn’t serve – there’s not enough.

Look at the passage again, but this time imagine yourself being one of the disciples.  What would you be thinking?  Then imagine yourself as someone in the crowd.  What would you be thinking? 

Leader note:  As you go through the passage, take each verse and consider it from the viewpoint of the disciple and then as part of the crowd.  Notice who Jesus told to “feed them”.

Commentary:

First consider the context of the passage – immediately follows Jesus and the disciples learning of John the Baptists death.  The disciples even had the task of coming for the body and burying it.  Then they were to Jesus to break the news.  Consider their mood, their disposition as they faced the crowd. 

As you look at the passage from the disciple’s point of view, take note that it was the disciples that fed the crowd.  What would they have been feeling as they were being handed bread by Jesus?  They had one basket each and most likely 20,000+ people looking forward to being served.  What would they be thinking as they handed each family their share of food and then thinking they would be out of food turned to the next family sitting on the grass, and there in their basket was enough for that family.  Again and again they found exactly what they needed to serve each family that waited for them.  And what did they have at the end of their serving?  Exactly what they had when they started!  There was 12 baskets left over, one for each disciple. The served and served and yet they ended up with exactly the same as they had when they started.  Notice where the miracle happened – it was with the disciples as they were feeding the crowd, not back with Jesus.  They got to be part of the miracle.  They got to witness the life change – possibly from doubt to faith, from skepticism to trust.  Their faith most likely grew.  They would have joy, perhaps even energy they were lacking when they started.

Next consider what it would have been like to be in the crowd.  Think of being one of the first served, then how would it have been to be one of the last?  Would you believe there was going to be enough for you?  Would you start thinking that Jesus cared for those at the beginning, but maybe there wasn’t enough to go around?  What would you feel like once you received your fill?  What if you were a seeker?  What if you were a cynic?  What if you were starving, needy or sick? 

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Think of our weekends at church, what are all of the places you see volunteers showing people they care, before they even get to the service?

Leader note:  Consider all of the volunteers you see each weekend you come to church.  Think of it from the perspective of a first-time visitor.  Who do they see showing them that they care they have come to our church.

Commentary:  Church really begins as you pull onto the property.  From those directing traffic, to those guiding you into a parking spot, those driving shuttles, the people that welcome you to Port Mariners and those who check in your kids, those who work with and love the kids, those who hand you bulletins on your way in, the people who work the patio tables.  All of them show people that they care by their service.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where do you want to serve and why?

Leader note:  Consider again all of the volunteer opportunities you see on the weekends, but also consider other volunteer positions within the church ministries.  Let your group explore various areas that interest them, ask them what difference their service would make to those that would be impacted by their commitment. Talk about how their lives would change if they got in the game.  As you talk about it, consider the parallels to the disciples’ experience.

 

Pray:  Ask God to bless those that serve so faithfully at church to make it the experience that it is for each person that attends.  Pray that the Holy Spirit will prompt each member of your small group to see the crowds around them with compassion.  Pray for a relaxing and refreshing summer and that each person will find the place to serve that best meets the need of the crowd and provides life change for both the servant and those who will be served.

 

LIVE IT OUT

How would we affect our community if we moved toward volunteering in this way?

Flow Questions for Sep. 8 & 9, 2012

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

Were you ever a part of a rescue?  Either on the rescuing side or the one being rescued?

Leader note:  Try to stay away from faith-type rescues – guide your group to actual rescuing someone or something.  Example – saving someone from the ocean, or being saved from the ocean.  Saving an animal that was in trouble. 

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

What do you learn about the Philistines?  The Israelites?

Leader note:  The Israelites had begun worshiping false Gods – Ashtoreth and Baal – materialism and sexuality.  They had removed God from the first priority in their lives.

Leader note:  Take this passage little by little and answer the question as you go through it.

 

Commentary:

Philistines-
Sent their army to meet the Israelites attack
Defeated the Israelites, killing 4,000 men
Heard the Israelites shouting – wondered what was up
Feared the fact that the God of the Israelites was now in their presence
Said they were doomed
Identified God as mighty, knew of how He struck the Egyptians.
Encouraged each other with be strong, be men
Fought and won in a basic massacre.  30,000 Israelites were killed
Killed Eli’s two sons
They captured the ark of God (where the presence of God was)

The Israelites
Attacked the Philistines (did not have the ark of the covenant of God – where God’s presence dwelt)
Lost 3000 men in the first battle
Decided to “take God to the battle with them” to improve the results,  – along with Eli’s two sons
Celebrated the fact that the ark of the covenant was in the camp – so much the ground shook
Were defeated, lost over 7x as many men as the first time.
Lost the ark of the covenant and the lives of Eli’s son
Eli died when he heard the ark was lost, and his daughter in law named her child, Ichabod – The Glory has departed from Israel

 

What do you learn about God?

He won’t be manipulated
He can’t be used or controlled
He allows struggles and defeat
Expects surrendered hearts, dependent solely on Him, not as a last resort
His presence ended up with those who feared Him

 

Read 1 Samuel 7:2-4, 9.  What do you learn about the Israelites?

Commentary: 

They were without the Lord for 20 years
They turned to the Lord with all their hearts
They got rid of the gods of materialism and sexuality
They committed themselves to the Lord
They served the Lord only
The Lord heard and answered Samuel’s prayer on Israel’s behalf

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Where do you see people trusting in things other than God?

Leader note:  People trust in the same things now as they did back in Samuel’s day – money and pleasure.  Have your group talk about those situations and what their trust in those things does to their lives.

 

What are people’s expectations when they bring God into their life/circumstances?  What are the results?

Commentary:

A lot of people think if they go to church, or put money “in the offering plate” they can get God on their side
Kind of bargain with God – “If I do this God, you should do that…”
Think that because they are Christians life will be easy, or they won’t have problems
Expect God to behave a certain way – make God small and manipulative
They get disappointed in God when He doesn’t do what they want
They question God and His power, instead of their motivation and heart

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where are you putting other things before God in your life?

Leader note:  Have your group consider things that you talked about in the last question – bank accounts, jobs, family, relationships, pleasure,

 

What expectations of God do you have when you bring Him into your life or circumstances?  What have been the results?

Leader note:  Have you been disappointed by God?  Ask your group if they’ve really searched their hearts in their situations and if they brought God in to rescue them when they couldn’t do it on their own, or with whatever they trusted in before?

Leader note:  For those who think they are doing the right things, the God things, they usually expect God to act a certain way – keep them from harm, protect them, that they won’t suffer unemployment, or illnesses or set-backs.  And when they have that point of view, when they do suffer failures, let downs, etc – they think God has let them down.  With this point of view we make God small and manageable, able to fail us, we know better and He didn’t come through.

 

What does God really want?

Commentary: (some of the answers you may come up with in your group.)
A humbled heart
Serving only Him, not money, pleasure, etc.
Putting Him first, not to be used
Worshipping at all times
That’s the important question isn’t it?  Know what God wants and align with Him.

Leader note:  This discussion may get messy because in chapter 7 it ends with God answering the Israelite’s prayer as they asked when they humbled themselves, ride themselves of false God’s etc., people may think that if they just do certain things then God will do what they want.  Let people struggle with this thought – if you need to, go to Psalm 34:17-18 and discuss how it applies.  God promises to be with us, but sin exists, evil exists, trials exist – so how does this play out?  This will not necessarily be a discussion that leads to a neat, settled ending, so just be prepared to encourage your group to seek out in Scripture other passages and verses which answer their lingering questions.

 

PRAY

As you end your time together take a silent time of confession to talk to God about those areas you have tried to control him, trusted in other things first or instead of Him, making deals with Him.  Then pray with your group to surrender, rest in the presence of the Lord, seek His will and align your heart and actions with Him. 

 

LIVE IT OUT

Who do you know putting trust in things other than God, or trying to manipulate God?  How can you share with them what God really wants?

Flow Questions for Sep. 1 & 2, 2012

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

When was a time you were given a task you didn’t feel qualified for?

Or

How did you feel on the first day of your first job?

Leader note:  We’ve all had those times.  Whether it was your first day on the job, or as a kid doing a science project for your class, or a job someone pushed you towards, or maybe giving a presentation and you didn’t feel like you were the right one to give it.  Maybe it was babysitting a baby that couldn’t be consoled, or being picked to be on a sports team that you hadn’t practiced up for. 

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

 

Read Exodus 3:1-4:17.  What do you learn about God and Moses? 

 

Leader note:  Pay extra attention to the part of the passage that deals with God’s calling Moses and Moses’ response to that call as that is what the next couple of questions deal with.


Commentary:  Some of the things that your group should see in the passage are:

Moses was a shepherd for his father-in law
God came to him in the form of a burning bush (vs. 4)
God called Moses by name
Moses responded “Here I am!”
God identifies himself as the God of Moses’ ancestors.
Moses was afraid to look at God
God tells Moses about the “Promised Land”
God says “YOU must lead my people”
Moses protested “Who am I?” (He says it twice in vs. 11)
God says “I will be with you”
God told him of the first sign he would give Moses after he led the people out of Egypt
Moses protests again asking who he should say sent him when they ask.
God replies to Moses “I AM WHO I AM”  “Yahweh (eternal name), the God of your ancestors has sent me to you.”
God told Moses to gather the elders of Israel and tell them of the plan to escape the oppression of Egypt and go to the Promised Land.
God tells Moses the elders will accept the message.
God tells Moses he must appear before the king of Egypt and tell him they need to leave to offer sacrifices, God lets Moses know that he will use miracles to prove to the king that they need to go and he will finally let them.
God says he will “cause” the Egyptians to look favorably on Moses and the Israelites and they will even give them gifts when they leave.  They will strip the Egyptians of their wealth.
Moses protested again by saying “they won’t believe me”
God turned Moses’ shepherd’s staff into a snake and back again and told Moses to perform that sign for the people.
God turned Moses’ hand into one inflicted with leprosy and then restored it and told Moses to perform that sign for the people.
God told Moses for a third sign he should poor water from the Nile River and that the water will turn to blood.
Moses protested again saying he wasn’t good with words and would get tongue-tied.
God reminded Moses it was He that made his mouth.
Moses protested again and pleaded that God send someone else.
God finally agrees to let Moses’ brother Aaron speak to the people for Moses, but reminded Moses that the words he used would come from God to Moses and then Moses to Aaron.
God told Moses “you will stand in the place of God for him” meaning Moses would tell Aaron what to say as God was telling him.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

How can people recognize God’s purpose for their life?

Leader note:  Since God doesn’t talk to most people through burning bushes anymore, it will be helpful to tell your group how to recognize God’s calling.  All believers are filled with the Holy Spirit.  He prompts and guides us to bring about God’s will – this feels like a burning passion, a nudge, a thought that keeps coming to mind – we just aren’t paying attention at times.

Leader note:  This could be as simple as a neighbor mentioning how their marriage is falling apart and is reaching out for someone to talk to, it could be a kid that is making bad choices and leaves open opportunities for being approached.  It could be something bigger like a calling to a mission’s trip, or ministry to others in your community.

 

Where do you see people avoid engaging in their purpose and where do you see people embrace it?

Leader note:  There are so many excuses people use to not answer God’s call.  “I’m too busy”, “I’m not qualified”, “Maybe when my kids are grown”, “My travel schedule with my job won’t allow me to do it”.  Most people should know of someone (without using names) that has avoided doing what they are being led to do. 

Leader note:  Most people should know at least one person that always seems to step and respond to God’s call with a resounding “Yes, I’ll do it”.  It’s amazing that at so many church events you see the same people helping – whether checking people in, working the information tables, whatever the task, they always seem to be there.  Or maybe someone in your group has taken on a new ministry – this would be a great time to affirm them.

Leader note:  After your group considers the people that accept God’s call, ask them, “Do you think their life is any less busy, or complicated, than the person that avoids God’s call?”  It is important for them to understand that the people that say yes are living the same types of lives that those that say ‘no’ are living, they just make God’s business a priority.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

What do you think God’s purpose is for you?  How will you respond?

Leader note:  You may want to ask this question and then re-ask this way “What is God calling you to do and what are you going to do about it?”  What is that burning passion?  That nudging?  That thought that keeps coming up that you keep pushing aside?

Tip:  Help your group recognize God’s prompting.  It could be when they hear of a need and their heart starts beating a little faster, or when they listen to a story about Outreach ministries and they get tearful, or when they hear a call for leaders and know they are qualified and think “I really should do that”, all of those are God’s prompting.  It could be a friend is in need of someone to come alongside of them and counsel them.  Maybe it’s a kid that needs a mentor, or a family member that needs you to pray with them.  Maybe God is calling you back to true worship of Him, to study about Him more, to be in the Word more.  God’s prompting will always be about His Kingdom – and within His will, that is one way to verify it is Him.  It is not about personal gain or satisfaction.

Leader note: If a member of your group just doesn’t feel like they have been “called” by God to do anything, help them think of jobs or areas of interest.  If they are still unable to think of something then tell them that it’s ok, you’ll pray that you will feel God’s prompting in your life and remember to pray for that in your closing prayer.

 

Pray:  Take the final moments of your group’s time together to pray.  Ask God to make his prompting clear to each of your members.  Pray that they will know that as with Moses, God will be with them as they undertake the purpose He has given.  Thank God for his faithfulness.

 

Live it Out

 

What would change in our community if we were all to embrace the purpose God has called us to?

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What is more tempting to you – big brownie, a slice of cheesecake or Apple Pie?

Leader note: A good way to transition to the next question is by saying, “It seems like we all understand what it is like to be tempted, let’s look at what James has to say about temptations in our lives”.

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

Read James 1:12-18.  What do you learn about temptation?

 

Leader note:  For purposes of clarity, the definition of temptation is “enticement to evil”. 

With that consideration, here is what James says about temptations.  He says God blesses endurance of temptation with the crown of life which is victory over sin versus giving into temptation which leads to sin or death.  Temptation comes from our own desires, not from God.  Temptation can lead to sin.  Temptation is not good or perfect – so it can’t come from God.  Temptation is not a part of creation.

Leader note:  At this point you may need to ask your group a follow up question, “When you look at temptations, what are truths we need to endure?” 

This should get your group to consider the truths that James tells us to remember.  God is good – all the time.  God gives good gifts.  God never changes.  God never entices to evil.  God does give desires but not temptations.  God gave us his true Word – Jesus.  We are God’s prized possession. 

 

UNDERSTANDING – 25 MINUTES

What is the process of desire, temptation, defeat, and victory?  What does this look like in your life?

Leader note:  It is imperative that your group understand that there is a clear process that leads from desires (not bad) to temptation (can be bad) to sin (bad/death).  Use the following equation with your group to help understand the process.

Desire leads to Temptation (lure, enticement to evil) which leads to a decision for either action of sin which leads to death or action of endurance and trust which leads to life.

Leader note: For the second part of the question it would be helpful if you have a flip chart or white board to draw a chart like the one that follows or you can just make copies of the one provided for your group.

Instructions for filling out the chart:

In the column on the left, list all the desires in life.  Remember, desires are not bad, in fact many are natural, basic necessities of life. 

 Once you have filled in the “Desires” ask your group how that innocent desire can turn into a temptation – a lure or enticement to evil.  It is also important to discuss with your group that  temptation comes from three places; Satan, the world, and you (the person being tempted).  Understanding that will help your group move the desire to temptation.  For instance, the desire to eat in and of itself is not bad, but when the world tempts us with fast-food mega burgers and restaurants serve slices of cake that take an entire plate that leads to temptation.  Another example would be intimacy.  Again, the desire to be intimate is a God-given desire, not a bad one.  But when you walk into any 7-11 Store there are magazines with seductive and sexual covers everywhere you look.  One more example would be the desire for a car.  Transportation is a basic need, we depend on transportation for school, work, and home responsibilities.  When we see our neighbors getting the newest Mercedes or sports car all of a sudden there is temptation to upgrade, sometimes beyond our means.  Have your group fill out the second column with the temptations of the world, themselves, or Satan.

Next look at the third column and discuss and record what would happen if you made the decision to sin.  Go through each temptation and think about what would happen if you gave into temptation. 

Finally, in the last column, consider what would happen if, instead of giving into temptation, you chose to trust God and endure against temptation.  List what your group thinks the outcome would be for each temptation.

 

 

Desire                             Temptation                 Sin/Death                              Trust/Life

Food

Fast food,

Huge Portions

Unhealthy Choices

Gluttony, obesity,

Unhealthy lifestyles

Self-control, healthy lifestyles, feeling good

Transportation

Expensive cars

Overspending, debt

Manageable finances

Intimacy

Internet porn,

Flirting

Affairs, inappropriate relationships,

Trust in relationships, Pure heart, inner peace

Shelter

 

 

 

Fun and happiness

 

 

 

Safety

 

 

 

Success

 

 

 

Intimacy

 

 

 

Relationship

 

 

 

Income/Job

 

 

 

Love

 

 

 

 

What does James say is needed to endure temptation? 

Leader note: After filling out the chart in 3a it will be good to discuss the fact that God gives us what we need to endure the temptations. By focusing on the truths that God is good – all the time, that He never changes, it makes it possible to endure the temptations and withstand the incitement to evil.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

What is one desire in your life where the enticement isn’t strong and one where it is?

Leader note:  Have each member of your group look at the list you compiled above.  Have them choose one temptation that they feel doesn’t cross the line from desire to temptation and one that does.  You may have some that are reluctant to share, especially where they are basically confessing something that may be difficult.  Be willing to move on without making them feel uncomfortable.  This would be a good time for you to share first as leader.  If your group hears your heart of humility they will be more likely to follow.

 

Leader note:  You may want to answer all of the application questions at once.  Start with stating where you feel you have control and then move on to the area of temptation and follow it through to the discussion of decisions and then truths for endurance.

 

In the area of your weakness where does the decision to sin/death lead?  Where does the decision to trust/life lead?

Leader note:  For each member that was able to share about a weakness, have them discuss where the decision to give in to the temptation would lead and where the decision to endure and resist the temptation, choosing life instead would lead.  Again, this is a good question for you as a leader to share first.  You may be able to say that because you have given into this temptation before, you know the result.  If your weakness is food, and the temptation is fast food, you know the result of giving into that temptation – extra weight, not feeling great, feeling remorse for going off a diet.  What would happen if this time you chose to make a salad instead?  Tell the group how that would feel and what kind of life that gives you.

Which truth do you need to endure?

Leader note:   Look at the list of truths you compiled from the previous questions.  Which truth will help you to endure the temptations you face?  Knowing that the temptation is not from God, but from either yourself, Satan or the world may help you to call on God for strength to resist.  Possibly recognizing the God has been faithful in the past and knowing He never changes will help you trust Him again. 

 

Pray:  Spend the last few minutes of your time together praying that God will reveal areas of your life where desires are turning to temptations and that he will give you strength to endure each temptation as they come along.  Pray that God will bring each member of your group to mind as you go through the week and that you will be diligent to pray for each one and the temptations they face.  Praise God for his faithfulness, His trustworthiness and His good and perfect gifts.  Take a minute, either aloud or in silence, to reflect on what it means to be God’s chosen possession.  You may want to read 1 Corinthians 10:13 to your group which is filled with hope:  “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

 

Live it out

How can we bring the hope of 1 Corinthians 10:13 to those who struggle in our community?

 

 

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

When was a time you owed some money and someone else paid it, or you got money you weren’t expectting to pay a debt you owed?

Leader note: It could be as simple as someone in a restaurant paying your bill, maybe your forgot your wallet at a store, or maybe it was something bigger where you weren’t sure how you were going to pay a bill, and money came to you in an unexpected way.  Be sure to ask your group how it felt to have the debt “forgiven” or taken care of for them.  Try to capture that feeling of being free.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Matthew 18:21-35.  What do you learn about forgiveness?

Commentary:

It is a heart issue It is a Kingdom value/priority No limit – have to do it over and over Amos says God will forgive 3x, Peter thought well I’m more than doubling that…Jesus says, no – unlimited Have to have a heart of forgiveness Based on the fact that you have been forgiven

Look at the three acts of the parable – what do you learn?

Act 1- Servant had an “Unpayable debt” – more than the tax burden of the entire city He goes to the king Tells king he can’t pay – king orders him to be sold into slavery/along with family and all descendants until debt is paid – debt can’t be paid off in their lifetimes Guy begs for patience (even though he would never be able to pay no matter how patient the king was) King forgives the debt– the debt is paid by the king and the guy goes free

The world says “you owe you pay” Mercy is expensive for the forgiver, free for the forgiven

Act 2 Forgiven servant leaves the king and runs into a guy who owed him a “payable debt” Chokes him trying to get him to pay – demanded he be paid Isn’t wrong to expect repayment – response is wrong Fellow servant asks for patience – promised to pay it back – would have been able to (4 months’ salary) Guy wouldn’t forgive the debt, had him thrown in prison Other servants see what he did and know about the king’s forgiveness of his debt – they are outraged There is a sense of judgment They tell the king

Act 3 King calls in the forgiven servant Called him evil – wicked Reminds him of the mercy/forgiveness grated him Tells him it should have been the same response for the other guy Has him tortured until he could pay back the original debt – which he would never be able to do – basically would be tortured forever He is imprisoned by his debt that will not be forgiven and he cannot pay.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 25 MINUTES

What is forgiveness?  What is it not?

Leader note:  You want to make sure people understand what forgiveness is. To misunderstand this point would be to miss the whole point of what Jesus did on the cross for us, and what is expected of us.  So let your group define it as best they can, but you want to get these points across:

What it is not:
Denying or minimizing the hurt or pain
Not pretending it didn’t happen
Not allowing it to continue
Not continued abuse
Not tolerating

What it is:
Extending mercy and campassion
Understanding the wrong and what it means to be forgiven as you have been from God – and others
Acknowledging the hurt and pain
Releasing the person of their debt to you
Keeping no further record
It becomes between them and God

What happens when people forgive others?  What happens when they don’t?

Leader note:   Make sure that you talk about it from both perspectives – the person who forgives (or doesn’t) and the one who receives the forgiveness (or doesn’t).  Try to establish the fact that holding onto bitterness, discontent, unforgiveness is a form of being held captive.  You are holding yourself captive, as well as the other person.  There is such freedom for both parties when forgiveness is extended.  Just like when we are held captive by our sins, our separateness from God – when we accept, really accept forgiveness because of the work of Jesus and our debts are completed paid, we are set free.

Leader note:  A good way to answer this question is to think of specific examples of forgivess. Maybe you know someone who had a coworker take credit for their work and they came and fessed up and asked for forgiveness – consider how each of them felt both before the apology and after.  Or maybe you know someone who was hurt by a family member and the relationship had suffered for years because of it.  Then they reconciled because forgiveness was extended – what did their relationship look like before it was jeopardized?  What about during the time before they were forgiven?  What about now?  Think about common examples like being cut off on the freeway – what happens if they retaliate?  What happens if they just forgive it and don’t do anything in return?  But there are harder times to forgive – such as infidelity and breach of trust in a marriage.  Without naming names, consider those situations as well.

Leader note:  The objective of this question is to see how powerful the act of forgiving is – it reconciles relationships and can change the direction of someone’s life. Bitterness sets in when you aren’t forgiven, or don’t forgive, and relationships are destroyed.  Friendships can be broken due to a harsh word that is never taken back, parent/child relationships are damaged because of deception that has never been dealt with.  Bitterness can make you angry at the wrong people – it can darken your heart and steal your joy as well as stealing your capacity for love and to extend love.

What makes it so hard to forgive someone?

Leader note:  It is important to understand what forgiveness is, and what it isn’t.  Have your group discuss this, and then talk about why it is so hard to extend forgiveness.  One important reason is that you may not completely understand how much you were forgiven.  People hold onto guilt and shame from their past and don’t understand the completeness of their forgiveness. 

 

APPLICATION – 25 MINUTES

What was a time you were forgiven or forgave someone?  How did it make you feel?

Leader tip;  Have your group try to stay within the past few months with this question.  Unless it is a huge offense they forgave or had forgiven, then let them go further back.  But part of the purpose of this question is to recognize that even the smaller situations that beg for forgiveness are important in freeing you – not just the “deal breakers” like affairs, stealing, cheating, lying.  Maybe you hurt your child’s feelings by something you said, how did it feel when you apologized?  What did you say and how was it received?  How did it reconcile the relationship?

Leader note:  There is such a relief that comes with forgiveness – on both sides.  Talk about how that feels, when you run into someone and you have bitterness toward them you avoid eye contact, don’t interact, even have ill will toward them.  But once that relationship has been restored because of forgiveness you look at them the way you used to, you feel love for them, it changes everything.

Is there a situation in your life that requires forgiveness?  What would be different if there were forgiveness in that situation? What is keeping you from it?

Leader note: You may have a situation with a family member who has been estranged for quite sometime.  What would happen in your life if that was restored by forgiveness?  Understand also that sometimes the other party wants to hold onto their bitterness, or their position of being right and won’t accept an apology – but what does it mean to forgive on your end?  Did you leave a job under bad circumstances and burn a bridge that needs to be repaired?  Is one of your children avoiding you because of a rage or battle of words?  Think of all the unreconciled anger and bitterness you have in your life – and think about where it comes from.  The root of it will be something that can, in fact, be forgiven.  And only then will healing and reconciliation and freedom occur.

 

Pray:  Spend the last few minutes together thanking Jesus for the ultimate act of forgiveness.  If you have been holding onto shame and guilt in your life, spend some time in silent confession, surrender the entirety of the chains that hold you, let God break you free and sit with the feeling of freedom.  Spend time expressing to God what it means that you are forgiven by Him and that your relationship has been restored. Then continue praying together for a heart of reconciliation and forgiveness. Pray for the opportunity to right those wrongs in your relationships and to receive forgiveness with grace and to extend forgiveness with mercy and compassion. 

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would change in our families, and communities, if we move toward forgiving and setting people free from their captivity of resentment and being shunned?  How would people come to understand God through us?