Category: Christian?

Colossians 4:2-6 // Christian? Wk 9

Date:  June 8-9, 2013

Message:  Your Story Matters!!

Passage: Colossians 4:2-6

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What is your all-time favorite movie? Why?

 

Leader tip: We are attracted to good stories; encourage the speaker to express why they were captivated by the story specifically. Perhaps ask them to recount a memorable scene. Be listening for themes of salvation and redemption.

 

Read Colossians 4:3-6

 

What is Paul requesting prayer for?

  • Proclaim clearly; Speak plainly
  • That God may open doors
  • Courage
  • Discernment
  • Grace that we may know how to answer everyone
  • Speak truth
  • Self-awareness
  • Wisdom of how to treat others
  • Grace
  • To make the most of his opportunities

 

According to Paul, what should our conversations look like?

  • Full of grace
  • Honoring to the other person
  • Posture of listening

 

Leader tip: Guide your group to recognize the vital role prayer plays when telling their story. A stigma against Christians is that they are unapologetically preachy, but Paul encourages us to pray for discernment on when to listen and speak, and how to be intimately connected to our own story.

Sharing pieces of your testimony with nonbelievers is a spiritual act, it requires submission to prayer before it is engaged in.

OBSERVATION –20 MINUTES

When have you seen people tell their story and it has not been well received?

 

Leader Tip: By story we are referring to moments in your life were God has clearly intervened and revealed something about his character to you.  It may be the moment you initially came to faith or it may be at another point in your journey with Him where you relied on Him and He came through.

 

Answers you may hear:

  • Guys on the street corner with John 3:16 signs
  • Testimonies or evangelism that are forced with no relationship or conversation
  • Mass Evangelism
  • Episodes of inappropriate timing:
  • at parties
  • funerals—misguided or insincere comfort

 

In opposition, when have you seen people tell their story and it has been well received?

Answers you may hear:

  • During times of God’s prompting
  • The homeless gentleman by the side of the road, the woman behind you in line at the grocery store, the family at the campsite next to yours, etc.
  • People that you have a relationship with; they view you as a safe source to bridge questions with. They know that you are a Christian by how they have seen you act.
  • Ex: Guys you play basketball with, your childhood friends, your neighbors, etc. They are prompted to ask, “what makes you different?”

 

 What characteristics mark the difference between ill and well-received stories?

 

Leader tip: Coach your group to see the value of listening. Often times we devalue the importance of prayer, context, and relationship.

Goals in sharing a story of faith:

Listen to the speaker in order to find the intersections where your story and experience cross theirs. When you connect with the listener in this way, it gives your interaction meaning.

You are a good steward of your story when you are using wisdom to seek out the questions behind another person’s story.

Be wise, and share stories that are holy-spirit driven through appropriateness and relevancy.

 

APPLICATION–20 MINUTES

 

How do you feel about telling your story to someone else?

 

Leader tip: Encourage your group to see the patterns or insecurities that prevent them from sharing their story with others. Help them to recognize that their story does not have to be intense to have an impact.

Many people:

Don’t believe they have a significant story

Compare the impact value of their story to others 

They devalue their own story

If you shared your story in Rooted, what was your experience?

 

Leader tip: Have your group look back and identify what their expections were and whether they were met or not?

 

Who are the people you feel called to share your story with?

 

Leader tip: This may be an instance of God’s prompting that they have been brushing off or are eagerly working towards.

 

Prayer:

Our gracious God, we come before you humbled and thankful that we do not have to do life alone. We are thankful that you have surrounded us with people and opportunities to share stories of your faithfulness and glory. Give us hearts that long to understand, value, and communicate our own story with hurting and broken people, that they may see the redemption you bring to those who suffer. We pray that your Holy Spirit will enlighten us with the wisdom to know when to listen, when to speak, and when to share our story.  Make us aware of the wounds we share with the people we interact with and show us the areas where our stories intersect theirs. Give us the strength and the courage to bestow your loving kindness on our brothers and sisters. Amen

 

LIVE IT OUT–20 MINUTES

 

This week, share some of your story of faith with one person.

Leader tip: For those in your group who are apprehensive to share their story, remind them that this exercise is about planting the seeds of faith, not attempting to lead people through to conversion. Listen well, speak wisely.

 

Prayer:

Our gracious God, we come before you humbled and thankful that we do not have to do life alone. We are thankful that you have surrounded us with people and opportunities to share stories of your faithfulness and glory. Give us hearts that long to understand, value, and communicate our own story with hurting and broken people, that they may see the redemption you bring to those who suffer. We pray that your Holy Spirit will enlighten us with the wisdom to know when to listen, when to speak, and when to share our story.  Make us aware of the wounds we share with the people we interact with and show us the areas where our stories intersect theirs. Give us the strength and the courage to bestow your loving kindness on our brothers and sisters. Amen

Leader Challenge: Open your group next week by following up with the challenge of sharing their story. Collect accounts of experiences and share them with your life group directors.

Titus 3:1-10 // Christian? Wk 8

Date:                  June 1-2, 2013

Series:               Christian?

Message:          I Quit

Passage:          Titus 3:1-10

 

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

 

What is something you have quit in your life, maybe a job or a habit? How did it feel and why did you do it?

          

Leader note: This should be a fun and easy question because we can readily call to mind things we have tried and quit because we realized they were not good for us or we just needed to change things up in our life. This helps us to see that we can change and do things differently.

 

Leader note: This is our last week in the series “Christian?”.  We want to capture what it means to be a Christ follower and love like Jesus so that the world can know we are His disciples by our love.

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

 

Read Titus 3:1-10 

 

What are things we are to quit and what are things we are not to quit?

 

Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)

 

         To quit: quarrelling, speaking evil of others, malice, envy, hatred, foolish controversies, dissensions, quarreling, creating division

 

       Not to quit: Obedience to the laws that govern us, submission/obedience to authorities, readiness to help others and do good works, gentle, hospitable, courtesy toward all people, devotion to good works

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

Where have you seen Christians either quit the wrong things or ignore quitting the things God tells us to abstain from.  What is the result? 

 

Leader note: The purpose of this question is to look at things in the lives of Christians that need to be let go of so that we can live and love like Christ. Going back to the passage in John 13:34-35, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” There are things in our lifes that we need to quit so that we can fully embrace loving one another. Sometimes we have to learn to love ourselves by quitting some of these habits.

 

Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)

  • People who say they are Christian but are always gossiping.
  • People who are angry, envious, or jealous of others find it difficult to love others and want good for them.
  • People who claim to be Christian but argue about everything with everyone – no wants to be around them or hear about Jesus.
  • People who don’t make any life style changes when they become a Christian (i.e., they still hang out in bars and get drunk; they don’t change their moral behavior, etc.); people don’t see them as any different with Christ as before and conclude as a result that they don’t think they need Christ.
  • Christians quit associating with anyone who is not a believer and then cannot share the love of Jesus with others.

 

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Leader note: The focus of the questions now shifts to us – what do we need to quit in order to live so the world would see us as different in a positive way.

 

 

What are one or two things you need to quit?

 

Commentary: You will likely get a variety of answers to this question.

Help each person focus on something they can tangibly quit and how it will make a difference in their life and how others see Christ in them. You may want to revisit week 5 of your Rooted Book and talk about how strongholds impact our ability to quit some things in our lives.

 

Have the group pray for each person and what they want to quit; you may want to have accountability partners available for the week to pray and support and to check in with each other to see how it is going.

 

As we move towards quitting these things, we begin changing and we need to remember it is the power of the Holy Spirit living within us which gives us the power to quit and to love others and to pursue the good works God has set out before us to do.

 

Ephesians 2:8-10 For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

 

This passage helps us to remember why we are able to do good works. We do not want our lives to be driven by works alone, but rather to prayerfully consider how we are to live and what we are to do: to be able to love one another and those around us in a tangible way such that they see Jesus.

 

As you wrap up this week and the series “Christian,” what are the things in your life which inhibit your ability to love like Jesus?

 

Commentary: You may get any of these responses:

  • Busyness/overcommitted.
  • Not wanting to overstep — etiquette – formality.
  • Lack of real relationship – for whatever reason.
  • Doing things out of obligation, not from the heart.
  • A judging heart.
  • Not quitting things that need to be quit.
  • Legalism
  • Thinking it won’t matter or it is not my job.
  • Pride.
  • Fear of being hurt or rejected.

 

There may be some confusion about loving like Jesus did. Some people may get stuck on serving each other rather than the bigger picture. The bigger picture is a relationship that brings glory to Jesus – makes Him known, if you will. The way we live our lives makes Jesus visible to those around us.

 

Where is it easy and where is it more challenging?

 

 

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

What if we Quit and loved like Jesus…what would the world around us see?

Leader tip: This last question is designed to help you have a three or four minute discussion around the overall message this week, leaving the group with a challenge and things to think about from your discussion.

 

 

 

How will you live differently because of the series: Christian?

 

Leader tip: You can also ask this as “How will your daily life be different as a follower of Christ from this series?”

 

Pray over your group at the end of the session: Thank Jesus for the humble, sacrificial love he has freely given us. Pray that we live life differently because of His sacrifice and that we not only love the world but also that our relationships with other Christ followers would be like Jesus’ love for us – limitless and sacrificial. Pray that Jesus be glorified and be made known by the way we love each other. Pray that our love for each other is authentic and reflects our relationship with Christ. Seek God’s wisdom and direction so that we may mend broken relationships, engage in real relationships with other Christ followers and love humbly and honestly.  Help us to live in truth and grace. Give us hearts that love each other as Christ loves us.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Romans 13:8-10 // Christian? Wk 7

Date: May 25 – 26, 2013

Series: Christian?

Message: How Far Is Too Far?

Passage: Romans 13:8-10

 

 

INTRODUCION – 10 MINUTES

 

When it comes to driving… would you consider yourself to be a rule follower, rule bender, or rule breaker and why?

 

Leader note: The question is designed to show us that we all tend to make exceptions to certain laws.  This tendency is a slippery slope, as exceptions create space for loopholes or excuses to justify our actions.

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

Read Romans 13:8-10

 

What do you learn about the law in this passage?

Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)

  • It is a laundry list of “should” and “shouldn’t,” i.e. commit adultery, murder, and theft
  • By itself, the law does not fulfill all that God requires of us
  • The law creates boundaries

 

What do you learn about love in this passage?

Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)

  • It fulfills the law
  • Love brings freedom
  • Love is a debt
  • It does not harm its neighbor
  • You must love yourself in order to love others
  • Love brings grace to the law
  • Love is the foundation of every law

 

Leader tip: Guide your group to recognize that the law alone leads to condemnation, while love leads to freedom.  When unrestrained by love, the law becomes an unwinnable trapping of legalism and bondage.  The intent of the law is to lead us to love one another with a spirit of grace and freedom; therefore, the way we interpret the law shows us the true state of our hearts.

 

UNDERTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

Where have you seen people make excuses to not love others?

 

Leader note: The aim of this question is to reveal that, at some level, we all feel that love has limits.  Some people are, “deserving,” while others are, “undeserving.”

 

Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)

  • Criminals
  • Abusers
  • Addicts
  • People on the other side of the political spectrum
  • Our own family
  • People who have let us down
  • When it’s “inconvenient”
  • When we can’t control their response
  • When we don’t get anything in return
  • People who cost us time, energy, resources to love/sacrifice for

 

Leaders: Examples of stories you might hear…

 

“I prayed for good neighbors.  We forged a close relationship, but the burden of them became too heavy when their marriage blew out.  They suddenly required a lot of effort; it became easier to not invite them over as much.  I was tired and felt that this was not the relationship I had prayed for.”

 

“At age 43, my father discovered an illegitimate daughter when our family was well established.  To this day, I don’t feel willing or able to forge a relationship with the girl because it feels unfair that his story impacts mine in an unfair way.”

 

Where have you seen people struggle to accept love?

 

Leader note: Not only is it difficult to express love at all times, it can also be hard to accept love or to feel like we are deserving or worthy of it.  Collect personal examples here if possible.

Commentary:

  • Prideful people
  • A parent who abandoned their family
  • People pleasers
  • Performance driven individuals
  • Victims

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Leader note: The focus of the questions now shifts to us.  The goal is to examine why it can be difficult for us to fully receive God’s love and, in turn, express it to others.

 

Who do you justify withholding love from?

 

Another way to state this question: Are there people in your life who you abstain from loving because they have hurt you, they require too much output, or they don’t deserve justice for the way they have acted?

 

Ex: “My sister in law did not want me to marry her brother.  She openly rejected me and refused to be in our wedding. This was damaging to me and to the relationship.  I was always cordial, but never felt love for her.  One day I realized that at church, I bequeath God’s love on people who do not love me everyday.  This disconnect caused me to question the barrier I forged with her.  I prayed for God to give me a heart for her.”

 

What obstacle do you need to overcome to love that person?

  • My need to be right
  • My desire for revenge
  • An attitude that says, “They are getting what they deserve”
  • A judging heart
  • Pride
  • Control
  • Fear of being hurt

 

How have those same obstacles affected your ability to receive God’s love?

 

Leader tip: There is often a connection between the obstacles we encounter in loving others and they way we receive God’s love.  For example, a judgmental person may have difficultly receiving God’s love because of the way they judge themselves.

 

What do you need to surrender in order to receive God’s love?

 

Leader tip: Think of this “obstacle” idea as a mirror exercise. i.e. sometimes our obstacle in loving others is motivated by the same fear or contempt we hold for our own shortcomings.  If we are not willing to love, then we have lost sight of how God loves us.

 

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

How would it impact the world if we fully embraced and expressed the powerful love given to us by God?

 

Pray over your group at the end of the session: Thank God for the love he has freely bestowed on us. Pray that we would surrender completely to God’s acceptance and forgiveness of our own shortcomings. Pray that we would gain an increased awareness of the people around us that are crying out for the unrelenting love of God and, regardless of circumstance or convenience, allow us to be bold enough to answer the call. Give us hearts that are compelled to love others as Christ has loved us.

Luke 15: 11-32 // Christian? Wk 6

Date:  May 18-19, 2013
Series:  Christian?
Message:  Two Lost Sons
Passage:  Luke 15:1-2a, 11-32

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES


When did you think something was lost, and then found it?

Leader note:  This question is easy to answer, try to get everyone to think of a time they lost something and then found it.  For instance, maybe they lost their wedding ring and found it later – have them talk about how they felt when it was lost, and then when it was found.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Read 15:1-2a.  Who is Jesus’ audience?

Sinners, tax collectors and Pharisees

 

Read Luke  15-11-32.  What do you learn about the misbehaving son?

Leader note:  We will be reading the entire passage through verse 32, however, break it into the segments focusing on each person in the story as it will help your group identify with the various characteristics and emotions for each one, and find themselves in the story.

Commentary:  (some of the answers your group should find)

  • Entitled – road to happiness is money
  • Money is freedom
  • Not patient
  • Ambitious, independent
  • Bold, impulsive
  • Insensitive – in shame honor society,
  •                 Asking for inheritance – I wish you were dead, and older brother dead
  •                 Public shame because the property would have to be sold to give the money
  •                 Wild living, pigs and prostitutes

 

*In those days property was kept for generations – didn’t earn it back

  • He’s foolish
  • Prideful
  • Learns the hard way
  • Up until this time he was out of his senses – insane

Was he brought back because of humility or calculating?
Both –

  •                 Had to get to the point where he was wrong
  •                 Throughout the story he’s been self-centered…

 

Read Luke 15:22-24.  What do you learn about the father with the younger son?

  • Gracious
  • Forgiving
  • Enabling, empowering
  • Compassionate
  • Patient
  • Strong and humble
  • Faithful 

Read Luke 15:25-30“Behaving older brother”?

Leader note:  Another way to think of this brother is as a “rule follower”, or someone doing the right thing for God.  That will help your group get to the point where they may identify themselves as the older brother (the church-goer, follow rules, live ethically, etc.)

  • Hard working
  • Self-righteous
  • Bitter
  • Angry
  • Entitled
  • Judgmental
  • Critical
  • Unforgiving

 

Read Luke 15:25-32.  What do you learn about the father with the older son?

Commentary:

  • He left his own party to talk to his son who was bringing shame on him by not joining in the celebration
  • He reminds the older son everything is his, he didn’t lose anything because the younger son got what he wanted.
  • He said we have to celebrate finding what was lost
  • Neither son earned what they were given, it was the father’s to give
  • Doesn’t take any of his grace away by extending it to the younger son

 

2b.  What does the younger son and older son have in common?

  • Both want to be out from the authority of the father
  • Both shame the father
  • Don’t love the father
  • They are loved by the father
  • Both dislike the other
  • How are they pursuing happiness – older – work hard, moralistic, being good

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

Where have you seen examples of the “younger brother”?

 

Why does their behavior make you angry?

 Leader note:  By asking the question this way you will help your group discover that they are the “older brother” in the story.  They will find themselves identifying those who are entitled, succeed “unfairly”, etc and their anger toward that person or group of people and will find themselves angry.  In the application question you will be making this personal and helping them discover the root of their anger.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

When have you been angry at God?

Leader note:  You should notice that your group falls into the “older brother” category.  Therefore they should have situations where they were angry with God because the fell upon hard times, someone “undeserving” got something they wanted, or they felt as though they deserve something and didn’t get it.

 

Leader tip:  When someone shares a powerful story others may come around them and derail the discussion completely.  Can be an avoidance tactic if someone has a powerful story.  The leader needs to be reminded to respond to the story, but then move to the next person to share.  There is a time to come around the hurting person and pray, etc – but keep the discussion going to make sure everyone shares and they don’t get an easy out from facing their own anger or issue.

 

Some sample answers you might hear from your group: 

  • when I was dating my wife I went to a church that basically promised that if I stayed pure I would have a great marriage – when we got married it was really tough for the first few years and I was mad at God.  I kept thinking I did what I was supposed to do and you didn’t keep up your side of the deal.
  • When my mom was sick we had her prayed over, anointed for healing, she was a good Christian and yet she died, and we thought it was because we didn’t have enough faith.
  • My husband and I raised our kids in the church, they have known God since they were little, we prayed with them and did the best we could to keep them focused on God – but two of them had problems at school – big publicized issues and I kept wondering why did that happen to MY kids?  I’m raising them right…

 

What were your thoughts about God during that time?

 

  • I did right – you didn’t
  • I did good – you failed me
  • You make no sense
  • It wasn’t fair
  • I can do better than you – I know the answer
  • He’s not sufficient
  • He’s mean
  • He’s unfair
  • He’s not loving
  • He plays favorites
  • He’s more gracious with others

 

What is the fear behind the anger?  What’s the truth you need to believe?

Leader note:  By identifying the underlying issue of the anger you can begin to see the response needed from the Father.  For instance, if the underlying fear of publicized rebellion of a child is keeping your reputation clean – you may need the truth that the Father loved you through rebellion, His grace is sufficient for you and for your children, and to remind you how to wait for the time they come back – wait anxiously and ready to celebrate.

 

  • If the fear is being alone you may need to believe He is with me.
  • If the fear is not having an easy marriage you may need to hold onto the truth that you have the power to move first toward making it better.
  • If the fear is that you may endure suffering, the truth you may need to hold onto is even in that He’s working, He’s bigger than the suffering.

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

In our community there are both younger and older brothers – what would happen if we responded like the father?

 

Pray:  At the end of your time together pray for God’s grace to cover all of the “older brother” attitudes you may have had toward others.  Ask God to remind you of His forgiveness, acceptance and restoration in your own life.  Pray for the opportunity to offer celebration for the lost that return and for the rule followers, those standing in a place of false superiority – that God will give them opportunities to embrace humility.

John 1:1-6, 14-17 // Christian? Wk 5

DATE:  MAY 11-12, 2013
SERIES:  CHRISTIAN?
MESSAGE:  HOW SWEET IT IS
PASSAGE:  JOHN 1:1-6, 14-17

 

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:  HAVE EACH PERSON IN YOUR GROUP SAY TWO TRUE THINGS ABOUT THEMSELVES AND ONE LIE AND THEN HAVE PEOPLE GUESS WHICH IS THE LIE. 

Leader note:  You may not have time for every person to share – but try to get as many as possible to talk.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

READ JOHN 1:1-6, 14-17.  WHAT DO YOU LEARN ABOUT JESUS?

Leader note:  John the Baptist was building a sense of anticipation for Jesus.

Commentary:

  • Word was God
  • Jesus is eternal
  • Jesus is “Word”
  • Source of all knowledge
  • All power
  • Overcomes darkness
  • The “Word” becomes flesh – incarnate, higher power in our midst
  • Dwelling – tabernacle
  • Full of grace and truth
  • John told us about Hi
  • We received grace in Him
  • Grace upon grace upon grace

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

WHAT IS THE VALUE OF GOD’S TRUTH?

Leader note:  There are several questions in this area, so don’t spend too much time on any one question.  You will be looking at both truth and grace and answering the same questions about each one.

Commentary:

  • It serves as an anchor
  • It is a foundation
  • Plum line – a place to gauge when something is not truth
  • Guide
  • Accountability
  • Wisdom
  • Understanding and knowledge

 

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM WITH LIVING BY TRUTH ONLY?

Leader note:  Another way to ask this question would be, “look at the answers from the previous question, what happens when you try to live up to the truth – and can’t?

Commentary:

  • The truth points out, highlights all that isn’t true, anytime you miss
  • It Convicts
  • It can be brutal
  • You usually end up with shame and guilt because you can’t measure up
  • You feel excluded from those who seem to be fine.

               

WHAT HAVE YOU OBSERVED ABOUT PEOPLE WHO LIVE FOCUSED ON TRUTH? 

Leader note:  Think of groups or friends that you’ve been around that seem to be “full of truth” and only truth.  How do they talk about other people?  About themselves?

 Commentary:

  • Comparison – labeling
  • Better than and best
  • Superior theology
  • Learn judgment – looking only at the externals and relating it to the internal (their heart) – there is no way they can know the heart – God looks at the heart.

 

WHAT LIFESTYLE RESULTS FOR THOSE WHO ARE FULL OF TRUTH ONLY?

Commentary:  Considering no one can live a perfect life, meeting all of the requirements of God’s truth, what happens to people who value only truth?  Hide/image management/veneer/lack of honesty

 

WHAT’S THE VALUE OF GOD’S GRACE?

Commentary:

  • Freedom
  • Forgiveness
  • Gentleness
  • Safety
  • Gift

 

WHAT IS THE PROBLEM BY LIVING BY GRACE ONLY?

Commentary:

  • No accountability
  • Recklessness on your part and the group part
  • License
  • Not loving – but has the illusion of love
  • Feels loving, but really whips you around in the end
  • Can’t grow

 

WHAT HAVE YOU OBSERVED ABOUT PEOPLE WHO LIVE FOCUSED ON GRACE? 

Leader note:  One example would be how grandparents spoil kids and then the parents have to undo everything and set boundaries and rules again when they come back home.  Or in relationships, never holding anyone accountable – being “tolerant” to the point of immorality running rampant.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

WHAT WOULD YOUR SPOUSE OR GOOD FRIEND SAY ABOUT YOU AND WHICH SIDE YOU LEAN TOWARD?

AND WHEN?  WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES?

Leader note:  Think of the different areas and relationships in your life – not from your point of view but instead from your spouse’s perspective or that of a close friend.  This is usually a more honest way to consider your position.  It’s even helpful to choose an area for each side – for instance possibly you fall toward truth telling with your spouse, but grace with your children.  By having the group consider where they fall either way they can observe what motivates their response, and recognize the value of being full of both – not balanced where it can be 60% grace and 40% truth, but rather 100% of both.

 

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF THAT KEEPS YOU FROM EMBRACING EITHER GRACE OR TRUTH? 

Leader note:  Pay attention to the story, figure out where they fall off if they have a hard time finding it themselves.

 

 

LIVE IT OUT

What if we lived with both grace and truth?

 

 

 

 

1 Corinthians 5:1-12, Matthew 7:1-5 // Christian? Wk 4

Date:  May 4-5, 2013
Series:  Christian
Message:
Passage:  1 Corinthians 5:1-12 and Matthew 7:1-5

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

WHAT BUGS YOU ABOUT THE HOLLYWOOD LIFESTYLE?

Leader note:  Try to let everyone jump in on something they disagree with that Hollywood represents or promotes to them.

Commentary: 

  • Manipulations
  • Vulgarity
  • New spouse all the time
  • Extravagant lifestyles
  • Sex
  • Drug use

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT JUDGING?

Leader note:  Answer this from your previous Bible knowledge or what you’ve heard.

Most people will have heard the verse:  Judge Not lest you be judged

 

READ 1 CORINTHIANS 5:1-12 AND MATTHEW 7:1-5.  WHAT DO YOU LEARN ABOUT JUDGING?

Leader note:  People may be surprised that the Bible actually tells us TO judge – but only others in the family of God. 

Commentary:  The Bible tells us who to judge and the way to judge them:

  • those inside the church who are called “brothers and sisters” not outsiders of the church
  • “immoral, greedy, idolaters, adultery, drunkenness, sins of the flesh, swindlers …”
  • These are observable sins, “lifestyle sins”
  • The passage we are dealing with a man sleeping with his stepmother.

 

WHAT DO WE TEND TO DO WITH “IMMORAL” CHURCH GOERS?

  •  Cut them loose
  • Let them hit rock bottom
  • Stop trying to help, they won’t receive it

WHY DO WE CUT THEM LOOSE?

  • Taint the reputation of the church
  • “hypocrites”
  • They don’t live up to the standards set by God in the church
  • It is a strategy of love-implement tough love so that we can eventually restore them to the church “let them back in.” The church is bad at both of these.
  • Judging in this scripture is strategy of love, love the person, love the church, love the community.
  • The person will feel judged, rejected, ostracized…like an intervention.
  • We have conformed to their character

Leader Note:  You can look at 2 Corinthians 2:5-11, where Paul explains restoration back to the church. 

 

WHAT DOES THE PASSAGE SAY ABOUT THE “OUTSIDERS”?

  • Don’t judge
  • It is God’s business
  • Don’t expect non-believers to act like believers, They do not subscribe to our beliefs
  • “Be with them” – Often the Church says don’t be with them, Jesus never teaches that
  • How far is too far in “being with them?”
    • Encouraging their behavior
    • Marrying them
    • Indulging in their sin
  • Why do we not judge? Matthew 7 plank and “do not judge lest you be judged”
  • When you judge someone else you are identifying sin in yourself

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

WHERE DO YOU SEE PEOPLE BEING TOO LAX WITH “INSIDERS”?  WHERE DO YOU SEE PEOPLE REFUSING TO RESTORE THEM?

Note:  Another way to ask this is, “where are people too afraid to give tough love to other Christians?

  • Where do you see churches/Christians fearing the confront/restore binary?
  • Inside-too lax/lenient? Too harsh. Too lax on choices/addictions/justifications/gossip/political views
  • Outside-Looking at Hollywood—what makes me angry? Pushing the group to recognize “the outsiders are me.” What they do is a problem, but why am I threatened by it?

Examples:

  • Small groups – people don’t want to call each other out, or hold each other accountable
  • People living together
  • Addictions
  • Parents of high-schoolers providing or allowing alcohol, condoning sexual behavior.
  • Gossiping
  • Debt/money things

 

WHAT IS THE COST OF BEING TOO LENIENT?

Commentary:

It makes the family of God weaker We look like hypocrites when behavior is tolerated within the church and criticized outside The behaviors can be thought of as accepted, thereby increasing the immorality

WHERE DO YOU SEE PEOPLE JUDGING OUTSIDERS?  WHAT IS THE COST?

Leader note:  Your group may not have to go much further than how they answered the first question about Hollywood.  But don’t stop the conversation there – consider anywhere you have seen “Non-Christians” being held to “Christian” standards.  What is the cost?  Does it attract people to Jesus?  Does it give Christians a bad name? 

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Leader Note:  You may not want to tackle both the “insider” and “outsider” applications – depending on your particular group and the time you have left.  You may already know that your group struggles with one relationship more than the other and steer your group that direction.  Questions for both sides of the discussion are provided.

WHAT IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH OUTSIDERS?

Leader note:  There are typically two extreme positions – either separate and judge, or associate and join the behavior.  Neither of these extremes are productive.

WHAT MAKES YOU AFRAID OF HAVING A RELATIONSHIP WITH THEM?

  • I might get sucked in
  • Being with them could make me look bad
  • I don’t want to “condone” their behavior

WHICH PART OF THE “INSIDER” JUDGEMENT DO YOU STRUGGLE WITH?  CONFRONTATION OR RESTORATION?

WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF IN THESE TWO TYPES OF RELATIONSHIPS?  WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE TO LET THAT FEAR GO?

  • Inside: Why am I afraid to give/too quick to give tough love?  What is the cost to the person being judged and to us as the church?
  • Outside- What is the barrier to me loving those on the outside? What do I have to let go of in my life to love them on the outside?  If you don’t give judgment, you can give compassion and love.

 

LIVE IT OUT

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN OUR COMMUNITY, ESPECIALLY THOSE OUTSIDE OF THE CHURCH, IF WE STOPPED JUDGING THEM?

 

PRAY:  As you end your time together ask God to convict you through the week to notice how you are responding to the directives of this passage.  Who do you need to confront in your church family?  Who do you need to stop holding to your value system that doesn’t ascribe to your faith foundation?  Ask God to forgive you for past judgments you have held over others outside of the Church and to bring to mind ways to love them in place of the fear you’ve held onto.

Matthew 5:13-16 // Christian? Wk 3

Date:  April 27-28, 2013
Series:  Christian
Message:  Where Are You?
Passage:  Matthew 5:13-16

 


INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

WHAT WAS A TIME SOMEONE SAW SOMETHING IN YOU THAT YOU DIDN’T SEE YOURSELF?

Leader note:  Make this as conversational as you can.  Think of a time someone affirmed you for something you didn’t even notice.  Perhaps it was the ease you accomplished a task, the grace you gave to someone you met, your ability to affirm in tense situations, etc.

 

OBSERVATION –  20 MINUTES

 

READ MATTHEW 5:13-16.  WHAT DOES JESUS WANT OUR INFLUENCE TO BE?

Leader note:  He’s talking to His disciples.  A translation of this is “you and only you”.

 

Commentary: 

To be Salt (of the earth):
To be Light (of the world):
To do good deeds (those which are both salt and light) cause people to praise God
               Point to God not themselves
               Affects other people
               When our motivation is to do good for God it brings glory to God
               When we do acts for ourselves we get the praise, when we do them for God He does
               If they think I’m kind and good people will think God is great.
               “If I’m doing good and people aren’t praising God what good is it?”

 

WHAT ARE THE UNIQUE QUALITIES OF SALT AND LIGHT (SPECIFICALLY IN JESUS’ TIME)?

 

Salt:      

               Healer
               Flavor enhancer
               Only effective when it comes in contact
               Permeates and infects/changes
               Preservative – stops rotting/decay
Highlights engagements
It is to be used, worthless by itself
Stops decay – preservative
Flavors – “brings out the God flavors”, adds zest to life

 

Light:

               Distinctive
               Reveals what’s around
               Allows you to see
               Dispels the darkness
               Is a signpost/warning (lighthouse)
               Lights a path/guides
               Is attractive, you are drawn to the light
Reveals/exposes
Eradicates darkness
              

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

WHAT ARE THE EQUIVALENTS OF SALT AND LIGHT TODAY?

Leader note:  Consider the descriptions you listed in the question above.  What do those qualities accomplish for followers of Jesus?

Salt:

It stands against evil, influences or advances the good
You make the world better by standing against the moral decay
 

Light

Speak the truth of the Gospel
Show in my actions the truth of the Gospel
Not hide who I am in Christ

 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR SALT TO LOSE ITS “SALTINESS”?

               If it is diluted, not effective
               If it isn’t used – or too much or not enough is used
               If it doesn’t come in contact with what it is supposed to
               Becomes useless

 

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR LIGHT TO BE HIDDEN?

               Loses its value
               Doesn’t reveal everything, only part of what can be seen
               Leaves some darkness – doesn’t get rid of it completely

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

WHERE IN YOUR LIFE ARE YOU SALT?  WHERE DO YOU LOSE YOUR “SALTINESS”?

Leader note:  Have your group consider places where they find themselves being salt – stopping the moral decay of their surroundings.  Where are they healing relationships and situations instead of breaking them down or adding to their deterioration?  And where are they making contact with others to enhance situations, instead of avoiding others?

 

WHERE DO YOU FIND YOURSELF BEING LIGHT?  WHERE DO YOU HIDE YOUR LIGHT?

Leader note:  Another way to say this would be, “where do you show and tell the gospel?”

 

WHAT WOULD IT LOOK LIKE TO BE A SALT AND LIGHT CHRISTIAN? 

Leader note:  One way to answer this is to look at people you may know who live out both salt and light in their life. Another way to look at it is to consider people who are just salt, or just light, and look at the lack of effectiveness they have.  Are their deeds bringing praise to God or themselves?  What is their motivation?  Who are examples of people who are just “salt”?  Just “light”?  Is it enough that we are just living it?  What are the dangers of “not” talking about the gospel?  What is the balance of both?  What about for you – what would it look like for you to be a salt AND light Christian?

Leader note:  Look again at verse 16 from the passage.  Talk with your group about what this passage means to them and how they can live it out in their lives as it is really what it means to live a life of salt and light, and the results are about God, not individual.

 

Pray:  As you close your time together, pray for each person to want to be saltier and lightier.  Pray that where they are already salt they will add light and where they are light they will add saltiness.  Pray that God will convict them of where they are losing their saltiness or hiding their light and they will desire to change. 

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

WHAT WOULD CHANGE IN OUR COMMUNITY IF OUR GROUP LIVED AS SALT AND LIGHT?

 

Matthew 25:31-46 // Christian? Wk 2

Date:  April 13-14, 2013
Series:  Christian?
Message: Be Fearless
Passage:  Matthew 25:31-46

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

WHAT DO YOU SEE?  WHAT ARE YOU BLIND TO?

Leader note:  Here are several fun ways you can create energy with this question.

  1. Have everyone close their eyes.  Ask, “What is so and so wearing?”  Ask about several different people to see how observant people are.
  2. Present a 3D picture (that emerges when you stare or cross your eyes – they are available online), and discover who can “see” the image.
  3. Have a Where’s Waldo book and see who finds him first.
  4. Change something in the room where you meet and ask, “What’s different in the room?”

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

READ MATTHEW 25:31-46.  WHAT DO YOU LEARN ABOUT FOLLOWING JESUS?

Leader note:  Last week we defined “Christian” as a follower of Jesus, someone who learns from and imitates Jesus.  This week we will look at what it means to follow Jesus.

 

Commentary from the passage:

It’s someone who cares for, sees, identifies, notices, and engages the “least of these” (without regard to who they are or how they got there)

  • Hungry
  • Thirsty
  • Stranger
  • Prisoner
  • Sick
  • Without Clothes

They didn’t know it was Jesus – just saw someone in need and met that need.

Jesus divided them as sheep and goats – sheep were useful for their wool, goats were not – they were divided by their usefulness.

 

WHAT’S THE SURPRISE IN THE STORY?

 There is a big division, they all thought they were followers, but Jesus said “no”!

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES


WHO WOULD BE INCLUDED IN THE CATEGORIES OF “THE LEAST OF THESE?”

Leader note:  Go through each of the categories Jesus highlights in the passage and put together a complete list of who would be included in each one.  Consider people in emotional, physical, spiritual, geographical, financial, relational terms.  Here are some examples to get you started.

 

  • Prisoners – captives – addicts, financially indebted, toxic relationships, slaves to their past,
  • Sick – mental illness, cancer, physically disabled, auto-immune disorders
  • Hungry – (continue working through the various categories)

 

CONSIDER ALL THOSE INCLUDED IN THE CATEGORIES, WHERE DO PEOPLE PUT ON BLINDERS TO THEM?

Leader note:  Look at how people live their lives and discuss how they purposefully avoid people that fall into the categories.  Maybe by “checking out” when issues come up, avoiding certain people altogether, creating a lifestyle where they control who they come in contact with.

 

WHY DO WE PUT ON BLINDERS TO THEM?

Commentary:

We aren’t uncomfortable
Takes time
Avoid our own stuff – we have to see our own if we engage
“I don’t want to go there”
I might catch it

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES


WHERE HAVE YOU “SEEN” JESUS THIS WEEK AND RESPONDED TO HIM?  WHERE HAVE YOU PUT ON BLINDERS? 

Leader note:  Discuss opportunities you have run into this week to respond to those in the categories listed above and what you did.  It could be as simple as buying a cup of coffee for someone, engaging in conversation with someone who needed relationship.  Explore different ways you have met the needs of those hungry, thirsty, imprisoned, etc.

 

GO TO howtobefearless.org AND CHOOSE A SERVING OPPORTUNITY TO DO AS A GROUP.

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IN OUR COMMUNITY IF WE TOOK THE BLINDERS OFF?

 

 

Mark 8:34-38 // Christian? Wk 1

Date:  April 6-7, 2013
Series:  Christian?
Message:  Great Expectations
Passage:  Mark 8:34-38

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

IF YOU WERE TO ASK RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE STREET, HOW DO YOU THINK THEY WOULD DEFINE A “CHRISTIAN”?

Leader note:  Look at both the positive and negative terms you think people would use.  How would your group members have described a Christian before they became one?

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES


READ MARK 8:34-38.  WHAT DO YOU LEARN ABOUT BEING A FOLLOWER OF JESUS?

Leader note:  The NLT version was used in this weekend’s message. 

Important leader note:  The people listening to Jesus speak would have attached meaning to the cross that makes what Jesus said absolutely startling.  The cross represented a place that criminals died a public, humiliating, gruesome and painful death, it was a complete surrender as they carried their own cross to their death, it represented the end of their life, total submission.  It was the end of their life spiritually, physically, relationally and emotionally.  This is important as you consider the thought of “taking up your cross”.

Commentary:  Some of the answers your group should get-

  • Jesus calls people to join
  • Turn from selfish ways
  • Stop clinging to the things of this life – don’t hold on to tight to stuff, things
  • Be willing to give up your life
  • It is a daily sacrifice
  • Don’t be ashamed of Jesus or the message of the gospel
  • Don’t care about this world and the things of it
  • Don’t be looking for worldly gain
  • It is an “all in” proposition
  • It is a lifestyle, not just a one-time thing
  • Hold lightly what God has given
  • Don’t love this life
  • Be willing to give everything up
  • If you hang on to life you will lose it
  • To give up everything you “hold onto” will mean you will gain life
  • It is surrendering anything you value most of this world
  • Being ashamed of Jesus today results in Him being ashamed of them in the end

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

WHAT ARE THINGS PEOPLE HOLD ONTO TODAY (REFUSE TO DIE TO)?

Leader note:  Consider all the things people rely on , depend on, hold onto in this life – stuff, things, relationships, attitudes, beliefs, etc.

 

Commentary: 

Some of the things people hold onto would be –

  • Money
  • Houses
  • Control
  • Guilt
  • Status, power, position, success
  • Dreams, goals
  • Ambition
  • Career
  • Possessions
  • Acceptance
  • Kids
  • Security
  • Family

 

WHAT ARE EXAMPLES OF WHERE YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, HAVE HELD ONTO SOMETHING IN LIFE – AND LOST IT?

Commentary:  Use the list you just created and think of people (even if it is you) that have held onto something in the list.  Think of people who have poured so much of themselves into their job or career – thinking they were providing for their family, and  never spending time with their family and ending up losing them altogether.  Maybe it is someone who is working so hard to get enough so they can start a family and then they wake up and find themselves beyond the years where they can have a family.  Maybe you know someone who was so wrapped up in their status, and then lost their job and felt as though they had nothing left.  Maybe you know someone who invested everything in the sports career of their kid and then the kid got injured and ended their athletic career – the parents are left feeling they have nothing left – they lost it.

 

WHAT ARE EXAMPLES WHERE YOU, OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, HAVE LET GO?  WHAT WAS GAINED?

Leader note: Look at the list again, is there someone you know who has given up the hold on something?  Think of people who have given up the need to control everything – think of the freedom they gained.  Think of those who have lived with guilt from a divorce or past act – think of the peace they have gained.  You may know someone who had spent years clinging to a dream of doing something they never were able to do, and then they gave up on that dream – think of the contentment they now have because they aren’t constantly living the “if only” lifestyle.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES


WHAT IN YOUR LIFE NEEDS TO DIE TO FOLLOW JESUS?

Commentary:  Look at your lifestyle now, what are things you are clinging too?  What is something you need to completely surrender so that you are able to gain your life back?

 

Pray:  Thank God for the perfect example of Jesus, who gave up His life to gain everything.  Pray for the Holy Spirit to convict you in those areas where you are clinging to worldly things and need to die in order to gain life in Christ.  Pray that you will create a new lifestyle and not just a temporary fix, that you will daily “take up your cross” and live a cling free life.

 

LIVE IT OUT

WHAT WOULD THE WORD “CHRISTIAN” MEAN TO PEOPLE IN OUR WORLD IF WE WERE TRUE FOLLOWERS OF JESUS?