Matthew 5:27-30 // A Fatal Distraction

Lean In // 5 minutes

What is your favorite Super Bowl commercial?

Leader Note: Transitional statement could be… much of advertising has to do with selling us stuff we crave but don’t need. Advertisers play on what we want, when we want it and how we want it. This is the essence of lust and lies at the heart of what Jesus is getting at in this passage.

Look Down // 10 minutes

Matthew 5:27-30

What do you learn about adultery and divorce?

Sample answers may include…

Adultery doesn’t just apply to a married couple.
Adultery starts in the heart.
Jesus re-frames adultery.
There is a cost and severity to adultery.
The grounds for divorce are limited.

Commentary: As with anger in the previous passage, Jesus is not simply drawing an new “line in the sand”. Rather he is drawing a circle around all of us. We all find ourselves unable to stand on our own righteousness as Jesus is defining it. We need Him and His grace. With regard to divorce, the Pharisees had manipulated the law to the point where people -mostly men- could divorce their spouse for any reason. Jesus is not only limiting how divorce is to be applied, he is also attending to an issue of social justice.

Look Out // 10 minutes

Where do you see lust woven into the fabric of society?

Sample answers may include…

Fashion
Marketing (Madison Avenue)
Sex industry (pornography, literature, movies)
Consumerism

How does lust unravel the fabric of society?

Sample answers may include..

Broken marriages
Addiction
Sex trade
Violence
Financial hardship (overspending)
Misuse of others

Leader Note:

Look In // 20 minutes

Leader Note: Due to the subject matter and the nature of the questions below this may be an opportunity to break out into same gender groups.

Where have you let lust creep into your heart?

Sample answers:

My struggle with sex.
Pornography and masturbation.
For the way I’ve used others.
My divorce.
Fantasies I get stuck in.
Forgiving my spouse for divorcing me.

What steps can you can take to set boundaries around these places?

Where do you need to receive God’s grace?

Leader Note: These questions lead to a natural time of confession. We know that confession is not only freeing it is healing (James 5). This is a time to receive, hold and release one another. If group members express a desire to set a boundary by walking out healing in a care or recovery environment, you can point them to http://www.marinerschurch.org/irvine/ministries/care-and-recovery/about-care-recovery/

Live it Out // 5 minutes

What if we extended grace to others where you need it most?

Key Verse(s): “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Matthew 5:17-18

Click here for Life Group Serve Opportunities

Learn More About Flow Questions: Check out Kenton Beshore’s book Ask in the Irvine Campus Bookstore for more on the Flow Question model.

Matthew 5:21-26 // The Anger Games

Lean In // 5 minutes

What makes you angry?

Sample answers may include…

Waiting at the DMV
Traffic – getting cut off
Kids disobedience
Vandalism
Poor restaurant service

Leader Note: Pay attention to each person’s answer, as it more than likely will give insight into the area they struggle with themselves.

Leader Note: Transition your group to the text by saying something like… “Anger is nothing new! It’s one of the human emotions that has always been around and will continue to exist. Let’s look together and what Jesus has to say about anger.”

Look Down // 10 minutes

Read Matthew 5:21-26

What is the danger of anger?

Sample answers may include…

Makes us subject to judgment
Puts our souls is in jeopardy
Brings hell to earth
Enslaves us
Destroys relationships
Creates crippling debt
There’s danger in thinking types of anger are ok, just words or thoughts

What does Jesus say about dealing with anger?

Sample answers may include..

Dealing with anger is a priority, before we offer our worship
It’s personal and requires an action “go and be reconciled to that person”
Deal with it quickly, don’t let it linger, build loving relationships now
The longer you let it go the more accountable you become

Look Out // 10 minutes

What does it look like to have anger under control?

Sample answers may include…

Keeping it to yourself, frustration
When it’s restrained, not expressed outwardly
Words muttered under your breath
When it’s a one time event
When it’s masked with sarcastic or coupled with humor

What does it look like to loose control of anger?

Sample answers may include..

When it turns violent, physical
Slander, using words to inflict pain, cursing
When it’s repetitive

Leader Note: Another way to frame this question is… “how far is too far with anger?” The point of this question is have your group wrestle with the idea of “How good is good enough.” Throughout the sermon on the mount Jesus combats this idea that there are managble and measurable lines that make us holy and un-holy.

Look In // 20 minutes

Where have you tolerated anger?

Leader Note: Another way to ask this question may be… “Where have you allowed anger to take hold of you?” You’re looking for personal examples, relationships and situations here. Model and encourage honesty by being the first to answer this question.

Where have you been the offender?

Leader Note: Set up this question by first drawing your groups attention to the two illustrations Jesus uses in verses 23 – 25. Notice that in both examples Jesus illustrates the person as the one who has caused the offense… “someone has something against you” and “your accuser.” Jesus is very intentional in these examples. Letting go of anger requires taking ownership of where we have played the part of the “offender.” In this we move past blame and resentment and move toward honesty, vulnerability and forgiveness.

Leader Note: Tie this in with the above response. Challenge yourself and your group to think about their part as the offender, where and how they have have instigated or held onto to anger. Of course this may not be the case in situations of abuse and violence. Use care and caution as you move forward with this question.

What would it look like to ask for forgiveness?

Leader Note: As you ask this question be sure to also highlight for your group what forgiveness is and what it is not. Again, be clear that this may not be the case in situation of abuse and violence.

Forgiveness is…

Motivation: God forgave me
You owe, I pay
Refusing isolation, bitterness and vengence
Trusting God to make it right

Forgiveness is not…

Excusing, justifying or denying
Pardoning, letting of consequences
I heal myself, anger, taking control
Reconciliation. It takes one person to forgive but two to be reconciled

This is the gospel, recognizing our part in sin and admitting that we are helpless in making ourselves clean.

This is what God has done for us
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8

This is what God calls us to do
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionated to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32

Live it Out // 5 minutes

What would change in your relationships if you lived this way?

Key Verse(s): “You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment! Matthew 5:21-22

Key Thought: In order to deal with anger we need to see our part as the offender and take the humble posture of seeking out forgiveness,

Click here for Life Group Serve Opportunities

Learn More About Flow Questions: Check out Kenton Beshore’s book Ask in the Irvine Campus Bookstore for more on the Flow Question model.

James 1:2-8 // Think Again: You Make The Call Wk 5

Lean In // 5 minutes

What’s an adventure you’ve experienced?

Leader Note: Remember this is an all play! You want to create as much energy and interplay in the group as possible here. Some “adventure” examples may include getting lost in a town you’ve never been in or a “thrill seeking” activity. There really is no wrong answer here, encourage and even model broad answers from your own life to get the conversation going.

Transition out of this question by saying something like… “some adventures are unwelcome… we all face them in one form or another. Let’s see what our passage has to say about that.”

Look Down // 15 minutes

Read James 1:2-8 (NLT)

2a. What’s the truth about trials?

Sample answers may include…

They will come your way
They come in many shapes and sizes
They often take us by suprise
They provide us with an opportunity to grow
They test or measure faith (Faith = What we can’t see but believe to be true anyway)
They can produces perseverance, endurance and maturity

2b. How do you show faith in trials?

Sample answers may include…

You consider (look/think again) at the trial and see it as an growing opportunity
Recall past situations where you made it threw the other side
You stick with it, allow the trial to run it’s course, to test you
You ask God for wisdom (note that asking for wisdom is different than asking to be rescued for the trial)
Believe in God’s generosity even when you can’t see it
Place your complete trust in God alone, anchor yourself in Him

Leader Note: Follow up this question by asking the group to identify what it looks like to not show faith in trials. Key in on the following word pictures from the passage; waver, unsettled like a wave, blown and tossed by the wind, divided loyality and unstable in all they do.

Commentary: James explains how believers will face unwelcome and unanticipated trials but it can be considered joy because it is producing something in the believer’s life. As believers embrace or allow the testing of their faith, it produces perseverance or endurance. And, as they let perseverance finish its work or let it have its full effect, then it leads them to maturity. The Greek word is telios, which means the completed life, whole, not lacking anything, and mature.

Leader note: Take time to observe all that the passage has to offer or in other words let the text speak. As you read and study this text, listen for what the group is observing and how it is impacting them. Remember, sit in the text before jumping to the next question.

Look Out // 10 minutes

3a. Imagine a person who wins a 50 million dollar lottery. What does their life look like in 10 years?

Leader Note:Recall or listen back in the message to way Kenton asked these questions by setting it up as a story. If your group heard the message get their thoughts and make room for a fun and honest conversation. Have fun here while aiming the group back to the value of perseverance.

Your group will likely respond in some of the following ways; “they don’t have to work or they can do whatever they want.” When they answer be ready to ask follow up question, i.e. “what does it look like when a person doesn’t work for 10 years, what does it look like when a person isn’t required to be somewhere?”

Draw out some of the following statistics at this point if they are not already made by the group

90% of the time the new family wealth is gone by the third generation
44% of winners spend their entire winnings within five years
99% of people quit their jobs
90% of marriages end in divorce

Or consider these cautionary tales…

Jack Whittaker won $315 million in 2002. He was robbed at a club and granddaughter died under strange circumstance. By 2007, he said his bank accounts were largely empty. He told reporters, “I wish I’d torn that ticket up.”

Evelyn Baseshore of New Jersey who won two payouts totaling more than $5 million in the mid-1980s and was besieged by thieves and hangers on. “Everybody wanted my money,” said the former convenience-store manager. “Everybody had their hand out.”

3b. Imagine a person who wins the lottery and was given the gift of perseverance. What does their life look like in 10 years?

Commentary: Money may offer a temporary fix to some problems but it can not build character and integrity in a person like perseverance. A person who preserves gains wisdom that is independent of external and temporary objects.

Look In // 15 minutes

4a. Describe a time God built perseverance in you?

Commentary: Looking back is a great discipline for building faith in ourselves and others who are currently facing trials.

4b. Where are you looking for a “50 million dollar” solution?

Leader Note: Remember we are using this analogy as a quick fix or easy out to a problem. Other ways to ask this question may include… “Where are you hopeless and looking for an easy out or Where are you overwhelmed and turning to things outside of God for help?”

4c. What would it look to “let perseverance finish it’s work?”

Leader note: Everyone in your group is either currently or will be going through something hard in their life. You, as the leader, have an opportunity to speak truth with grace into their lives: Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If they need help with their perspective of the difficulty, James says we can ask God for wisdom, which means asking God to see it with His eyes.

Live It Out // 5 minutes

5. How can your perseverance inspire faith in others?

Commentary: How many times have you been inspired by another person’s faith to persevere and stick it out? Persevering faith makes people stop and consider Jesus more than any other way!

Key Verse(s): Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:4

Click here for Life Group Serve Opportunities

Learn More About Flow Questions: Check out Kenton Beshore’s book Ask in the Irvine Campus Bookstore for more on the Flow Question model.

Luke 2:25-35 // The Cost of Yes: Outsiders Wk 5

Introduction // 5 minutes

What is your all time favorite game show and what do you like about it?

Leader Note: After you’ve made room for everyone in the group to answer transition to the next section by saying something like… “One of the greatest parts of any game show is the element of risk and reward. Every decision, every answer often has a cost associated with it.”

Observation // 25 minutes

Read Luke 2:25-35

What warnings does Simeon give to Mary concerning her son, Jesus?

Sample Answers May Include…

He would cause division in Israel (v34)
People will speak against him (v34)
He blesses Mary while at the same time warns her of the suffering that is ahead of her… “A sword will piece your own soul too.” (v34-35)

Commentary: Luke continues to highlight the dichotomy between the outsiders and insiders in this passage. Simeon makes it clear that Jesus is for all while at the same time emphasizing that many on the inside (the people of Israel) would fall because of their rejection of the Messiah. Jesus would become a lightning rod that would divide cultures, nations, and families.

It should also be noted how culturally shocking it would have been for Simeon to directly address Mary, a woman, in front of her husband. What he says to Mary in verse 35, (“A sword will piece your soul too”) is equally shocking. Mary, the highly favored one, is given a very clear warning of the road ahead of her and the suffering that it is to come. Her yes would come at great cost.

Leader Note: Take time with your group to look at a few of the key narratives that illustrate the cost of Mary’s yes.

Read… Luke 2:41-52, Luke 4:16-21, 28-29, Luke 8:19-21

Leader Note: Select three people from your group to read a passage in order to move through the readings faster.

What do you discover about the cost of Mary’s yes? What might some of her emotions been in these situations?

Commentary: There is a temptation to view Mary as some kind of picturesque symbol in the Christmas story rather than a real person who actually had to endure quite a bit in her journey as “Mary, the mother of Jesus.”

Sample Answers May Include…

She would have been made to feel embarrassed, ashamed or even like a bad mother
Frustation over not understanding her son’s actions
Probably would have felt rejected, isolated and frustrated, like no one could understand her
Perhaps she felt like a “bad mother” like she did something wrong, not good enough

Understanding // 10 minutes

Where have you seen someone live out a costly yes?

Leader: There is always a cost associated in following Jesus. By saying yes we also have to say no to great number of things. Where have you seen someone do this well?

Application // 25 minutes

Where have you heard something from God and then questioned it based on the circumstances you were in?

Leader Note: Allow space for personal stories at this point. Most of us have had the experience at some level of responding in obedience to God’s call and then experiencing the struggle and trials of the in-between our yes and the fulfillment of what God calls us to.

How do you tend to respond in those costly “in-between” moments?

What do you need to be reminded of in those moments?

Where is God currently calling you to a “costly yes?”

Live It Out // 5 minutes

Who could you impact in your life and community by living out a costly yes well?

Prayer: Father we thank you for all the ways you continue to protect and guide us. We ask that you would cause us to see the great and eternal rewards that wait for those who say yes and follow your ways through all seasons of this life. We pray for strength when following because burdensome and for wisdom when we are meet with doubt. Be our source of life and may the way we live reflect your glory so that others may come to see you. Amen.

John 14:16-20, 26-27 // The Bible Wk 11

Introduction // 5 minutes

Who was your closest friend growing up? Briefly describe that relationship.

Observation // 20 minutes

Read John 14:16-20, 26-27

What are all the “I Will, He Will, You Will” statements in the passage?

I will ask the Father (v16)
He will give you another advocate (v16)
He (the Holy Spirit) will be in you (v17)
I will not leave you as orphans (v18)
I will come to you (v18)
You will see me (v19)
Because I live, you also will live (19)
You will realize that I am in my Father and you are in me, and I am in you (v20)
The Father will send the Holy Spirit in my name (v26)
He (the Holy Spirit) will teach and remind you all that Jesus has taught (v26)

What do you learn about the Holy Spirit?

Sample Answers May Include…

That he will help and never leave us (v16)
The world doesn’t see or accept him (v17)
We already know him (v17)
He will live in us (v17)
He is by the Father in the Son’s name (v26)
He teaches and reminds us of Jesus’ teachings (v26)
He embodies the peace that Jesus promised to leave us with (v27)

Leader Note: Lead your group to see that all the “I will” statements are made possible through the presence of the Holy Spirit, who will now be with and in us forever.

Commentary: Jesus promises the gift of His Holy Spirit as He is preparing for the cross and untimely His physical departure from this world. Later in John 16:7 He tells His disciples that it is actually for their benefit that He go in order that the Spirit may come and be with them. What He leaves them with is not some cheap imitation or mere copy of Himself but “another of the same kind.” In other words another of Himself to be with them and serve as an empowering advocate (translated comforter counselor, helper, encourager, intercessor and companion) wherever they go. The Holy Spirit provides us with comfort and power to live for God’s Kingdom in a world that is directly opposed it.

The Holy Spirit exists in relationship with the Father and Son. He is the spirit of God not created by Him, but sharing in God’s very nature. He is not an impersonal force. He is not an “it” but a he who possess unique characteristics and personalities traits.

Leader Note: You may wish to take a deeper look at the Holy Spirit with your group using the following categories and verses as a guide.

He Is God

He was present at creation (Genesis 1:2, Job 26:13, Ps 104:30)
Omniscient, He understands all things, (Isaiah 40:13, 1 Cor 2:10-12)
Omnipresent, ever present (Ps 139:7-10)
Omnipotent, all powerful (Job 33:4, Ps 104:30, Romans 8:11)
Distributes and works through spiritual gifts of the (1 Cor 12:4-6)
Works along side the Father and Son (2 Cor 13:14)
He is one with the Father (Ephesians 4:4-6)
He is eternal (Hebrews 9:14)

He Is A Person

He can be lied to, resisted, grieved and insulted (Isa 63:10, Acts 5:3-4,
Acts 7: 51, Heb 10:29, Eph 4:30,)
Intelligence (Romans 8:27, I Cor 2:13)
Emotion (Ephesians 4:30, Hebrews 10:29)
Will (1 Cor 12:11, Acts 16:6-11)
Capacity for relationship (2 Cor 13:14)

He Has Specific Roles

He comforts (John 14:16)
Teaches and instructs (Neh 9:20, Luke 12:12, John 14:25-26, John 15:26, 1 Cor 2:13, Eph 1:17)
He convicts (John 16:8-11)
He guides (John 16:13, Acts 11:12, 15:28, 21:4)
Commissions and empowers and believers for ministry (Isa 48:16, Acts 1:8, 4:31, Acts 13:2, Acts 20:28, 1 Cor. 2:4-5, Eph. 3:16; 1 Tim. 1:6-7)
Gives us strength to stand against sin (Rom. 8:4; Gal. 5:16, 25)
Inspires prophecy (Num. 9:30, 11:25, 29; 2 Sam. 23:2-3; Acts 21:4, 28:25; 2 Peter 1:21)
Distributes spiritual gifts (1 Cor. 12- 14; Rom. 12)
Gives us supernatural strength (Eph 3:16)
Capable of preforming miracles (Acts 8:39)
Intercedes/aides our prayers (Romans 8:26, Jude 1:20)
Pours out God’s love (Romans 5:5, 15:30)
Sanctifies the believers

Understanding // 10 minutes

Where have you seen God’s power at work in the lives of others?

Leader Note: Life transformation, healing and restoration glorifies the Father and reveals the Son. The Holy Spirit supplies the power, which makes that transformation possible.

Application // 25 minutes

How do you currently view the Holy Spirit?

Have you always had that view?

What’s changed in your understanding of Him?

Commentary: God the Father and God the Son are typically easier for us to understand than God the Spirit. We receive the Father, Son and Spirit at the moment of our conversion (Eph 1:13-14, 2:22, 4:30). The primary role of the Spirit is to empower us to live the life to which we haven been called. Without the Holy Spirit’s presence, power and peace we would be left to live that life in our own futile strength. That life leads either to a religious false sense of pride or guilt filled misery.

How have you seen the Holy Spirit at work in your life?

Leader Note: Revisit the list of the Holy Spirit’s specific roles listed above as a jumping off point. You may wish to frame the question based off a few of those roles, i.e.…

Where have you have you experienced God’s comfort?
When was a time you heard God’s voice?
Where have you had a sense of God’s empowerment?

Where are you presently in need of the Holy Spirit?

Live It Out // 10 minutes

How might your life and the life of others be impacted through your relationship with the Holy Spirit?

Prayer: Pray a prayer of thanksgiving for the gift of the Holy Spirit. Pray that your eyes may be opened to his work in our life and your passions further developed for a deeper relationship with him.

Dream Event

Life Group Leaders,

Dream Event

We are hoping you all plan to attend the Dream Event tomorrow, Sunday, April 21 at 2:30 in the Community Center. This event features Kenton, as well as Dan Allender – author of To Be Told, Leading with a Limp, and more. Both Kenton and Dan will encourage you to discover your unique purpose that God created, and gifted you for. Attend with your life group!

You were not created to do ordinary things. God has given you an extraordinary purpose, discover your dream, embrace your story, activate your idea!

Group Time

After attending the Dream Event, and hearing the sermons the past couple of weeks on being fearless, take time as a group in your regular meeting time to talk about what you are hoping to do as a group to impact your community. Get something on your calendar!

Reminder

Life Group Leader Training:

Thursday, May 16, 2013, 6:30 PM – 8:30 PM

Group: Mission Viejo, Huntington Beach, Irvine

Join us as we connect as Life Group leaders. Please let us know you’re coming so we can save you space!

Contact john, jthomas@marinerschurch.org

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving!

The Life Groups Team would like to wish you a Happy Thanksgiving. We are very grateful for all you do as leaders, and encouraging your group to grow in their relationship with Jesus as well as shepherding and caring for them. Your dedication to this ministry is appreciated, and it is because of you, and your life group, we are seeing great advances for God’s Kingdom in our communities.

This week, instead of discussion time focused around the weekend message with flow questions, we are hoping you will take time in a prayer time of thanksgiving, or serve with your group or as a family. If you come together for a coporate prayer of thanksgiving you can use the following format:

5-10 MINUTES

Words of Praise and Worship
Saying the names of God,
Proclaiming out loud who God is
Praising His attributes

20 MINUTES

Stories spoken to God highlighting His faithfulness, provision, answering of prayers, deliverance, etc.

20 MINUTES

Either out loud as a group, or individually spend time bringing to God current requests, supplications, needs, etc., and offer them in a manner of thanksgiving, (Heavenly Father, I thank you for reminding me as I seek for financial wisdom and provision, that you are already working on my behalf. Thank you for knowing me, understanding the anxiety and worry I feel and yet you surround me with your peace, please help me Father to relinquish the worry and embrace your peace. Thank you for your Spirit who intercedes when I am at a loss for words. I am grateful for each day you give me, in good times and in challenges, as it is a new day to surrender, to seek you and your will, and to rejoice in your faithfulness.)

Flow Questions for Sep. 29 & 30, 2012

Date: September 29-30, 2012
Series: Uncontrollable
Message: Uncontrollable Grace
Passages: John 6:50-58 1 Corinthians 11:23-30

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

What are some of your favorite memories?

Leader note: Spend just a few minutes on this question and then move through the other intro questions.

Leader note: Everyone should be able to think of one or two – usually they will think of the big events in their lives, that’s okay, let them reminisce a bit.

Commentary: Some examples of answers you may get from your group –

Wedding – theirs or one they attended
Watching sunset in Maui on honeymoon
Proposing to wife, or being proposed to
Backpacking, rafting, fishing, skiing with family, or other vacations
Kids being born, adoptions being finalized
Being accepted to college, getting a new job

Talk about your memories – why are they so important for us to remember?

Commentary – Some of the reasons memories are important –

They mark milestones
Define a point in our life/define our life
Keep us grounded
Give us identity
Remind us who we are

What are things you did, things you remember, you wish you could forget?

Leader note: These are those embarrassing times in your life – where things played out in your mind better than they did in real life. Have your group think of a couple of those memories – they don’t have to share if they don’t want to, move to the next question.

Follow up with this last thought: “What do you learn about memories?”

Commentary:

Emotions come back with the memory
Change the details sometimes – make it worse than it was or better than it was
They grow
We let memories define us
We internalize them
In a way, memories define who we are

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read John 6:50-58 and 1 Corinthians 11:23-30. What should we remember?

Leader tip: Make sure you respond to each answer, either have them expand on their answer or rephrase it if they just read from the text. For instance, if they just say, remember the bread, ask them what the bread represented, really get them to consider the meaning behind the directive to remember – why it would be important.

Commentary: Some of the answers your group should get –

Bread – remember his body – Emmanuel, he came to be with us, flesh and bone, from heaven, brings eternal life
Cup – remember the blood shed for us, His death, once and for all, forgiven, new covenant/agreement,
Remember what He did
Remember why He died
Remember the seriousness of it – don’t take it lightly
Remember regularly, often
Those who eat His flesh and drink His blood remains in Jesus, and He in them

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Jesus tells us to “remember” what is Jesus afraid we’ll forget?

Leader note: Spend 10-15 minutes on this question. There are things we need to remember and things we need to forget. A good way to ask this question is to make two columns on a piece of paper, ask, “What are we to remember?” then before moving on, say, “What happens if we forget that?” Look at both sides of the answer before moving on. It will help you as you move into the application question.

Commentary: Some examples of what your group may come up with-

Need to Remember … if we forget….

He came to be with us                                 we feel alone/abandoned
His death/burial/resurrection                       We fall back into the “have to do’s”
His forgiveness                                            We’re not able to forgive others
His body/flesh and blood                             We can’t have real relationship – it is just spooky ghost-like thing
Honor the body of Christ                              We get a lot of “should” in our life
His blood shed                                             Minimize His capacity to cover ALL sins – limit Jesus
The New Covenant/arrangement                 Go back to everything is conditioned to my work
He broke the power of sin                             Sin dominates and controls me – I have to do it
List of things I’ve done was cancelled           Create my own list or others do and it becomes powerful
He came to be part of community                  Lose value of community, of the family of faith
Blood/curtain ripped – access                       I am not fit to come to him/dirty
Fulfilled promise                                              Won’t believe the rest of the promises

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

What do you need to remember? What do you need to forget? What does God choose to remember? What does God choose to forget?

Leader note: Spend 10-15 minutes on these questions. Ask all of them of each person who answers, one at a time. First ask, what do you need to remember? What do you need to forget? Once they have answered that, ask them, “What does God choose to remember?” And, “What does God choose to forget?”

Commentary: Some sample answers-

I wasn’t part of a family when I was a child, I need to forget that I was an orphan, feeling like I’m not worthy of a family, didn’t deserve a family. I need to remember I am loved, I am part of a family. God chooses to remember I am His loved child, I am adopted into His family and have all the advantages of being part of that family – feeling loved, part of something, worthy, a sense of belonging.

I need to remember Jesus conquered the power sin has over me and need to forget old ways, forget hopelessness. God chooses to see me as a new creation in Christ.

I need to remember Christ died for me and I am forgiven once and for all. I need to forget the shame and guilt and brokenness of my past, I need to forget feeling worthless because of those things I did, less than, unworthy, ugly. God chooses to forget all of my past, he remembers and sees me through the blood of Christ – I am clean, forgiven, righteous through Christ.

When I choose to remember it defines certain things in my life. If I choose to remember Jesus died for me and love me I can’t hold onto self-hate, feelings of failure, feelings of not being enough, not being worthy, not forgiving. God chooses to see me as a new creation in Christ, He sees me as worthy, forgiven, righteous, he forgets my old self

Pray: You may choose to take Communion/Lord’s Supper in your life group. If you do, pause to remember what it means that Christ came, in the flesh to be with you, what does that mean to you personally? Pray silently and then say out loud, “this is my body, take this in remembrance of me”, then take the cup of wine or juice, remember what it means to you personally that Jesus died for you, once and for all, covering your sins so that God chooses to see only the blood of His beloved Son when He looks at you, what does that mean to you? Pray silently. Then say out loud, “this is my blood, drink it in remembrance of me”. End your time together praising Jesus for coming in the flesh to identify with you, to be with you, to understand everything about you, and for taking your sin upon the cross, dying for you so that you can be in right relationship with the Father. Spend time quietly asking for forgiveness in any areas you require it, and then asking that God will help you to remember His incarnation, His sacrifice and His love for you in a whole new way. Help you to remember those things you need to remember and to forget those things you need to let go of forever.

LIVE IT OUT

Who can each of us tell our story to this week? What will that look like in our community/world?

Flow Questions for Sep. 22 & 23, 2012

Date: September 22-23, 2012
Series: Uncontrollable
Message: Uncontrollable Power
Passage: Psalm 62

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

If you could change your first name to anything, what would you choose?

Leader note: This is just a fun question for everyone to be able to jump in and answer. Follow up with “why?” when they answer. While it seems to be a throwaway question, there may be answers that reveal something else. For instance, if someone gives a name and says, “I knew someone with that name who was so beautiful” it may be because they don’t feel beautiful. Or possibly a name of someone who is successful and they feel as though they have failed. This is particularly good to use if you will be doing the “Labels” activity at the close of your time together (specified below).

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

Read Psalm 62. What do you learn about a “God only” vs. a “God and” lifestyle?

Leader note: While you can use any translation for this discussion, the NLT contains the words “God alone, He alone” and the NIV does not, while it is implied. We are including the NLT translation at the bottom of the page if you prefer to use that. The commentary will be written using the NLT translation.

Commentary:

God only
Resting, patience, waiting on Him
Victory comes from Him
He is my rock
He is my salvation
He is my fortress
Our hope is in Him
Honor comes from Him
Protects us from our enemies,
He is trustworthy in good and bad times
We can come to Him with our troubled hearts
Power belongs to God
Unfailing love is His
He is just

God and ____
People are not trustworthy, two-faced, can’t depend on them, don’t have our best interest at heart, want to destroy us
Have nothing to do with unfairness in dealings
Wealth should not be the center of our life

From your own knowledge of David’s life, what did he hold onto besides God? (What was his God and ______ lifestyle?)

Commentary:
Held onto God and
Power
Army
loyalty of people
stature
strength

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

What are things people hold onto in addition to/or instead of God?

We hold onto

Health, Money, Cleverness, Intelligence, Talent, Ability, Security, Pleasure

What does it look like when people live a “God and..” lifestyle? What are the results?

What does it look like when people live a “God only” lifestyle? What are the results?

God and _____

Results:

Feel hopeless, desperate, They are undependable
They are fleeting
People can be knocked down when they hold on to these things
Find they are not enough, in all circumstances
Feel like God let them down
Feel like they failed or are unworthy because they don’t accomplish what they wanted
They hold onto rebellion, sin

God alone

Results:

They confess their failures, and their successes belong to God
They forgive and ask for forgiveness
they are grounded, bad news is put in perspective
They feel hopeful
They don’t feel abandoned or alone
They believe there is a reason for what they are going through
They worship
Their lives reflect their dependence and humility – is attractive to others

Leader note: If any of your group members have specific stories of people they know (maybe without using names) who have lived these lifestyles that would help the discussion. One recent sad example of someone holding onto their own ability and position is the Olympic Coach of the Russian Women’s Volleyball team who committed suicide after a poor showing at the Olympics. When we live with our hope and trust in fleeting ability and reputation, and fail – there is hopelessness. An example on the other side can be seen in the life of Matt Barkley where USC received sanctions guaranteeing he would not participate in a bowl game for two years, yet he held onto God alone, and believed he was placed at USC for a reason.

Personal application story: Two parents of young children have been in a life group with other parents who are living a “God alone” lifestyle in raising their kids. Hearing them confess their struggles, and admit how hard parenting really is has helped the other parents talk to each other, forgive each other for shortcomings and co-parent in a more unified way. They realized they were living a lifestyle of “God and our own ability” and “God and our own reputation”.

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where are you living a lifestyle of “God and…” When have you lived as “God alone” and what were the results?

Leader note: This moment is a “God only” moment – have them say I’m letting go of ______.

Personal application story: One woman who recently celebrated a milestone birthday was living a “God and youth, puffed up dreams and expectations, believing “I’m less than”. When she let those go, and clung to God alone, God told her she was enough.

Leader note: One fun idea at the end of your time together would be to have two bland labels for each member of your group. After they talk about what they’ve been holding onto, have them write the label for themselves they have taken on, or was given to them by others. Put that label in a trashcan you have placed in the room.

Then on the label that God gives them when they hold onto Him only, and have them wear that one as they leave the discussion time.

Examples of Labels we take on:

Successful

Reputation

Unworthy

Failure

Rich

Poor

Unemployable

Undeserving

Stingy

Greedy

Selfish

Athlete

Popular

Immoral

Labels God gives:

Worthy

Loved

Forgiven

Wealthy/Co heir of Jesus

You are enough

You are not alone

Valued

Leader note: The labels people hold onto can indicate a stronghold that needs to be broken. If you notice that in your group, plan time to pray with them, follow up with them.

5. What does it look like to the world for a group of people to embrace a “God only” lifestyle?

PRAY: As you end your time together pray for God to impress your new label on your heart, to give you glimpses into the victories that come from a God only lifestyle, and to convict you of other places you need to “let go” and depend on, worship, surrender to God alone. Conclude by reading aloud together the first two verses of Psalm 62.

Psalm 62 (NLT)

I wait quietly before God,
for my victory comes from him.
²He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will never be shaken.

³So many enemies against one man—
all of them trying to kill me.
To them I’m just a broken-down wall
or a tottering fence.
⁴They plan to topple me from my high position.
They delight in telling lies about me.
They praise me to my face
but curse me in their hearts.

⁵Let all that I am wait quietly before God,
for my hope is in him.
⁶He alone is my rock and my salvation,
my fortress where I will not be shaken.
⁷My victory and honor come from God alone.
He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me.
⁸O my people, trust in him at all times.
Pour out your heart to him,
for God is our refuge.

⁹Common people are as worthless as a puff of wind,
and the powerful are not what they appear to be.
If you weigh them on the scales,
together they are lighter than a breath of air.

¹⁰Don’t make your living by extortion
or put your hope in stealing.
And if your wealth increases,
don’t make it the center of your life.

¹¹God has spoken plainly,
and I have heard it many times:
Power, O God, belongs to you;
¹²unfailing love, O Lord, is yours.
Surely you repay all people
according to what they have done.

Flow Questions for Sep. 15 & 16, 2012

NOTE: There are two sets of flow questions this week, one for Irvine, and one for Mission Viejo. Please use the flow questions that correspond with the weekend message you heard in church.

IRVINE

SERIES: UNCONTROLLABLE
MESSAGE: UNCONTROLLABLE GOD
DATE: September 15-16, 2012
PASSAGE: Genesis 4:1-16

INTRODUCTION – 10 MINUTES

When was a time you got mad at a referee or umpire during a game you were playing or watching?

Leader note: If you have parents in your group they may think about one of their kids games. You might have people who have recently watched a big game on TV (Olympic event, basketball finals, world cup match, tennis match, baseball game) and they can talk about that. Encourage them to comment on each other’s episodes – it will encourage discussion for the rest of the group time instead of question/answer and back and forth between you and one member at a time.

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Genesis 4:1-16. What do you learn about Cain, Abel, and God?

Leader note: You may want to break this text into two parts. Read up to verse 7, answer the first question. Then read the rest of the verses and answer it again along with the rest of the observation questions.

Commentary:

Abel:
Second born son
Is a rancher
Gives favored offering to God
Is killed by his brother

Cain:
Firstborn son
He’s a farmer
Gives “some” of his crop as (first-recorded) offering to God
His offering is not looked on by God with favor
Knows what is right (at some point – maybe before but definitely after he gave the offering), there was an acceptable way to make an offering, Cain chose not to utilize it.
Gets very angry
Gets a chance to answer God, change his offering
He’s downcast – shows he is hurt
Murders his brother
Is banished but yet protected

God:
Looks at Abel’s offering with favor
Does not accept Cain’s offering with favor
Heart matters – offering reflects heart
Asks Cain why he is angry?
Gives Cain a chance to stop, to self-analyze and enter back into relationship (Grace)
Let Cain suffer consequences, yet protects Him (grace)
God can’t be controlled, either by doing good (Abel – ends up being murdered) or disobedience (Cain gets extended grace)

What would Cain’s feelings have been?

(what he may have answered to God’s question “why are you angry?”)

You’re unfair, you choose favorites
You always liked him better
Mine is never enough, my best is never enough, I can’t win
I failed
He just outdid me on my idea – he stole my idea
People judge me too harshly

What were the consequences of Cain’s anger?

Cain killed his brother
Abel does everything right (as far as we know in this story) and yet is killed
God warns Cain and gives him freedom to decide what to do AND then protects him

Total Freedom = other people can be hurt and hurt us.

God protects Cain, but banishes him to wander

Cain feared that God didn’t love him
- Yet, God protected him
- God gives him the effects of sin
- Cain feared his own death

There is a formula for revenge/vengeance –

Formula:

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Where do you see this formula play in in the world? What were the results?

Leader note: Have your group think of recent times where they have seen this formula played out until the end, or stopped somewhere before vengeance/revenge. Think of stories in the news, and personal applications that you may have seen in your own families, workplaces, schools, neighborhoods, etc. Talk about both the positive and the negative, where have you seen grace of forgiveness before it even got to anger? What about after anger but before they harbored it until they were bitter and resentful?

Commentary:
When we act out in anger we wind up in isolation
From others or from God
Natural consequence of broken relationship from anger

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where are you in the formula? Where are you hurt?

Where in your life have you started down that hurt/anger/resentment/revenge road and stopped it?

Leader note: Have members of the group consider where they have been hurt, either recently or in the past. When have they stopped the progression? Where are they now if they haven’t forgiven or dealt with the hurt?

Pray: End your time together thanking God for His uncontrollable grace, and for the way He models forgiveness for us. Ask that He convict you of where you are moving from being hurt further toward vengeance, pray He stops you to ask you, “why are you angry” before you move into bitterness, and gives you a spirit of reconciliation and peacemaking.

LIVE IT OUT

What if we really dealt with our feelings before progressing in the formula, how would that affect our family, community?

MISSION VIEJO

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What would a perfect picnic look like to you?

Leader note: Some people in your group may not like picnics. That’s ok, ask them if they could “move” the picnic inside, where would they take it.

Commentary: You may like the planning and execution of a great picnic. Preparing the food as well as all of the accompaniments is fun for some, or maybe it’s the thought of being outside somewhere – maybe the beach, or a green park, or in the mountains. It could be the company at the picnic that makes it perfect.

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Read Matthew 14:13-21. How did Jesus show he cared about the people? What was the response of the disciples?

Leader note: Make sure you put this passage in context. Remind your group that Jesus would have just found out about his cousin, John the Baptist, being beheaded in jail. He would have been in a state of grief. If you want you can read the passage (verses 1-12) to your group first and then proceed into the story for the study this week.

Commentary:

Even though Jesus would have been tired and in a state of grief he looked at the crowd and took compassion on them.
He healed the sick.
He gave them his attention.
Jesus wanted to serve them, make sure they were taken care of, fed.
Before giving the bread and fish to the disciples he looked up to heaven, and he blessed the food.

The response of the disciples was one of selfishness – send them away…gave reasons they couldn’t serve – there’s not enough.

Look at the passage again, but this time imagine yourself being one of the disciples. What would you be thinking? Then imagine yourself as someone in the crowd. What would you be thinking?

Leader note: As you go through the passage, take each verse and consider it from the viewpoint of the disciple and then as part of the crowd. Notice who Jesus told to “feed them”.

Commentary:

First consider the context of the passage – immediately follows Jesus and the disciples learning of John the Baptists death. The disciples even had the task of coming for the body and burying it. Then they were to Jesus to break the news. Consider their mood, their disposition as they faced the crowd.

As you look at the passage from the disciple’s point of view, take note that it was the disciples that fed the crowd. What would they have been feeling as they were being handed bread by Jesus? They had one basket each and most likely 20,000+ people looking forward to being served. What would they be thinking as they handed each family their share of food and then thinking they would be out of food turned to the next family sitting on the grass, and there in their basket was enough for that family. Again and again they found exactly what they needed to serve each family that waited for them. And what did they have at the end of their serving? Exactly what they had when they started! There was 12 baskets left over, one for each disciple. The served and served and yet they ended up with exactly the same as they had when they started. Notice where the miracle happened – it was with the disciples as they were feeding the crowd, not back with Jesus. They got to be part of the miracle. They got to witness the life change – possibly from doubt to faith, from skepticism to trust. Their faith most likely grew. They would have joy, perhaps even energy they were lacking when they started.

Next consider what it would have been like to be in the crowd. Think of being one of the first served, then how would it have been to be one of the last? Would you believe there was going to be enough for you? Would you start thinking that Jesus cared for those at the beginning, but maybe there wasn’t enough to go around? What would you feel like once you received your fill? What if you were a seeker? What if you were a cynic? What if you were starving, needy or sick?

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

Think of our weekends at church, what are all of the places you see volunteers showing people they care, before they even get to the service?

Leader note: Consider all of the volunteers you see each weekend you come to church. Think of it from the perspective of a first-time visitor. Who do they see showing them that they care they have come to our church.

Commentary: Church really begins as you pull onto the property. From those directing traffic, to those guiding you into a parking spot, those driving shuttles, the people that welcome you to Port Mariners and those who check in your kids, those who work with and love the kids, those who hand you bulletins on your way in, the people who work the patio tables. All of them show people that they care by their service.

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where do you want to serve and why?

Leader note: Consider again all of the volunteer opportunities you see on the weekends, but also consider other volunteer positions within the church ministries. Let your group explore various areas that interest them, ask them what difference their service would make to those that would be impacted by their commitment. Talk about how their lives would change if they got in the game. As you talk about it, consider the parallels to the disciples’ experience.

Pray: Ask God to bless those that serve so faithfully at church to make it the experience that it is for each person that attends. Pray that the Holy Spirit will prompt each member of your small group to see the crowds around them with compassion. Pray for a relaxing and refreshing summer and that each person will find the place to serve that best meets the need of the crowd and provides life change for both the servant and those who will be served.

LIVE IT OUT

How would we affect our community if we moved toward volunteering in this way?