John 15:4-9, 15 // Fearless Generosity Wk 6

Date:  March 23-24, 2013
Series:  Fearless Generosity
Message:  The Palm Before the Storm
Passage:  John 15:4-9, 15

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES


What are some Easter traditions you have in your family?

Leader note:  Easter could be that one day (or one of two days) your family attended church when you were young.  Maybe you got special Easter clothes, baskets, color and hunt for eggs, tell stories of sacrifice, have special meals, end fasts, etc.  Have your group recall similar and different traditions from each other.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES


Read John 15:4-8. What does Jesus say about faith?

 

How does what Jesus say about faith differ from the idea of religion?

Leader note:  As your group highlights each characteristic of faith Jesus spoke of, ask them how that differs from previously held opinions, or other expressions of religions.

 

Commentary:
Jesus says-

It’s about relationship

  • Living connection, organic
  • Vine and branches
  • Produces something – fruit, dependent relationship
    • Vine – produces through
    • Branch – expresses it
  • Bring glory to God
  • If we aren’t connected, we are useless
  • Remain –
    • abide,
    • to dwell,
    • To become like
    • In Christ
    • Stay with
  • Be led by the Spirit, submitted to, surrendered to
    • Walk in the Spirit, in step with, same pace as

Leader note:  Have your group put these concepts in non-“Christianese” words.

 

Examples:

“It’s like a parental relationship, I don’t need to think about if my needs will be met, if they will provide, care for and love me.  I gain life from parents – gain life from God, connected, don’t have to think about it or work at making them a parent or becoming a child, you just are.”

 “You have a choice to remain in relationship – it’s a decision you make to walk with, abide in, etc or pull away, disconnect – It’s a decision to enjoy it, live in it, depend on it.”

 

What Religion says:

  • Do it – fail – result is guilt and shame
  • If I’m able to then I feel like “I did it”, pride – leads to looking down on people, or judge non-Christians because they are having fun without guilt
  • I produce it – being good, moral, going to church, giving, serving, being better, knowing God’s Word, bumper sticker, Bible study, kind to the poor or marginalized, act like Jesus vs. become like Jesus
  • Earning

 

UNDERSTANDING – 15 MINUTES

 

What makes religion attractive?

  • It’s measurable
  • Gives me a checklist so I can control it
  • Gives impression it will make you good
  • If you have a mentality of earning, being a super achiever, this gives you the way to make you better at religion than the next guy


APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

As we move toward Easter, what are things that drive you to religion?  To relationship? 

How does religion lead to failing?

 

Religion:

  • Tradition
  • Rules – don’t eat meat on Fridays, etc.
  • Pick up your cross – need to do better, be nicer,
  • Sacrifice something – do something I don’t want to do
  • Obligatory part – requires something of me
  • Peter and denial, how many times have I done that?  I  need more self-control
  • Need to feel bad
  • Religion is our go to fastball

Religion is “me-centric”  – “God what do you notice about me?  Don’t you see what I’m doing?”
Don’t have to be concerned about what God is doing, do what I want to do instead – come along with me God.
Religion gives illusion of control, but in abiding you have to rest, produces feeling of rest, surrender
For doers – control when the fruit comes, measure it, my time is well spent – but otherwise he determines it, and I feel out of control.
Religion says I’m going to pick the part to play and then be the architect of it

 

Relationship:

  • Freedom is fruit
  • It’s not your timetable, or the fruit, can’t be selective – I’m not there, but God is producing it.
  • Some will reap and some will harvest
  • Finding what God is doing and joining Him
  • Healthy sense of frustration –
  • No control
  • Not measurable
  • Requires surrender

 

Leader note:  After the discussion of moving toward relationship, lead them with “How are you going to do that???”  This is a set –up because the answer is “they can’t do anything!”  It’s not about doing.  It requires a different way of thinking.  Keep working within the group until they get a clear sense of a different way of thinking.

 

LIVE IT OUT

If we all lived in relationship, and not religion, how would it impact those watching us?

 

Pray:  As you end your time together give your group quiet time to personally respond to Jesus with confession of the laws they’ve constructed to achieve God’s favor – recognizing how that separates them from the fullness of Jesus’ sacrifice for them.  Let them sit with the full weight of grace for a moment and then pray for each person to rest in remaining in Jesus this Holy Week. 

 

Good Friday Service Times

Irvine:
Friday, March 29:  12, 3, 4:30, 6, 7:30p
Childcare thru age 5 at all but 7:30p                         

 

Mission Viejo:
Friday, March 29: 4 & 6p
Childcare thru age 4 at all services

 

Huntington Beach:
Friday, March 29: 11a-2p and 4-7p
2124 Main Street, HB (near offices)

 

Easter Service Times

Irvine:
Saturday, March 30, 4&6p
Sunday, March 31, 8:30, 10 & 11:30a
Port Mariners children’s program for
Infant – 5th grade at each service

 

Mission Viejo:
Saturday, March 30, 5p
Sunday, March 31, 9 & 11a
Port Mariners children’s program for
Infant – 5th grade at each service

 

Huntington Beach:
Sunday, March 31, 8:30, 10 & 11:30a
Port Mariners children’s program for
Infant – 5th grade at each service

 

Other Easter Events

Easter Egg Scramble – Irvine Campus
Saturday, March 30, 3:15 & 7:15p
For toddlers – 5th grade

 

Peep Roast
Saturday, March 30
After the 5p service

 

Easter Egg Hunt and Family Fun Day
Saturday, March 30, 9a-3p
Parking $2 in HB Sports Complex lot

 

 

 

Mark 14:32-36 // Fearless Generosity Wk 5

Date:  March 16-17, 2013
Series:  Fearless Generosity
Message: Give Up, Give In
Passage:  Mark 14:32-36

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

What’s the most dangerous place in the world? 

Leader note:  Spend a few minutes letting people conjure up places they consider dangerous – what makes them dangerous? You could also ask what is the most dangerous place you’ve been?

Commentary:  Some sample answers you may get would be:  inner city neighborhoods, remote villages, prison, regret, isolation, war, junior high

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Read Mark 14:32-36. What is most dangerous place in the Bible/in this text? Why is it so dangerous place for Jesus?

Leader note:  Look at all that Jesus faced – physically, emotionally, spiritually, relationally, etc.

Commentary:  The Garden of Gethsemane, where God’s will is confronted, where God clearly calls and instructs us to move towards something

  • Greatly troubled, horrified, in agony. 
  • Emotions are so overwhelming that he feels death coming.
  • His humanity is on full display.
  • A hard passage to accept, when else would a God show weakness?
  • Fell to the ground
  • Abba, father, intimate as if a child would call out to parent in distress. (Everything is possible for you, he had great faith, 100% faith, he knew fully what his father could do he walked closer with him than anyone ever can/could. 
  • Take this Cup.. Cup of God’s Wrath which our sins had filled. 
  • Perfect love must also react in wrath when acting against. 
  • Wrath, and suffering expresses in the absence of God’s presence, abandonment 3 times he asks God to take this cup from me! 
  • His fear is not just death but separation
  • Your will not mine. 

What do we do when our will/desire doesn’t match God’s?  What did Jesus do?

That’s the most dangerous place in the world. 

  • Pray
  • We can be honest, we can pray for change and not just tell him what we think he wants to hear.
  • His response is honest intimate prayer that ultimate leads to surrender, costly generosity.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES
Where have you seen costly/powerful surrender?  

Leader note:  Consider those who have faced incredible challenges and ultimately prayed for God’s will and surrendered their utmost desires and believed that what God wanted, had for them, was best, or at least came to the recognition that their will was short-sighted, based on limited knowledge of current situations and lack of knowledge of eternal meaning.

 

When have you surrendered something big to God? How have you heard God speak in those moments of surrender?

Leader note:  Consider times you have wanted something so badly but instead of praying or asking specifically for the desires of your heart you opened up your heart to accept His will, even if different from your own.  How did you hear affirmation of your surrender?  Some ways people have cited are His Word, community, the Holy Spirit, a sense of more, hearts stirred, not everyone will agree, face up to your fears, confront what cause you to hold back

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

What are the places/things in your life God is you to surrender? What’s your dangerous moment/place of surrender?  

Commentary:  Surrender is absolutely necessary to experience all of Him and all that He has for you.  The call to surrender your will for God’s will in costly/generous surrender is the most dangerous plea in the world.  Your decision to ether go with him and surrender or your own way is the biggest one you’ll ever make, it’s every human’s defining moment.  The human will/heart is the most negated thing.  God calls for all we are, to gain his life we must lose ours.

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

What would change in your life if you were to completely surrender your desires and embrace God’s will?  What would happen in our community if we all lived this way?

 

PRAY:  AS YOU END YOUR TIME TOGETHER PRAY THE PRAYER OF YOUR GETHSEMANE.  ASK GOT TO HELP YOU BREAK THE ATTACHMENT TO THOSE THINGS, RELATIONSHIPS, EXPECTATIONS, ETC., THAT GET IN THE WAY OF SURRENDERING COMPLETELY TO HIS WILL.  PRAISE HIM FOR HIS ETERNAL PERSPECTIVE, ASK HIM TO REVEAL SOME OF ETERNITY TO YOU TO HELP YOU SURRENDER, AND PRAY FOR THE DESIRE TO LIVE FULFILLED AND GRATEFUL FOR A GOD WHO HAS GOOD AND PERFECT WILL FOR EVERY SITUATION YOU FACE.

 

John 4:1-42 // Fearless Generosity Wk 4

Date:  March 3/9-10/13
Series:  Fearless Generosity
Message: Philoxenia
Passage:  John 4:1-30, 39-42

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 


When did you visit someone and were made to feel “at home”?

 

Leader note:  Think of visiting a friend, maybe staying with someone while you were remodeling your house, welcomed in on a mission trip, while you were in college, etc.  How did they make you feel welcome?  What was the experience like?  It doesn’t have to be for an extended visit – maybe just someone who welcomed you in and prepared for you, or took care of you, in a way that made you feel welcome.


OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES


Read John 4:1-30, 39-42.  What do you learn about fearless hospitality from the story?

Leader note:  You may want to start with defining hospitality.  What does it encompass?  You may want to look at some of these other passages as you form your definition:  Matt 22:36-40, Matthew 5:43-47, Hebrews 13:2)

  • Jesus was first to speak – to a Samaritan woman (would have been despised by Jews)
  • Jesus knew her story, she had been married many times, was an adulteress, he told her “everything” she ever did
  • The disciples saw Jesus talking to her and didn’t question it – were they used to the fact that Jesus talked to those on the “outside”?
  • Jesus offered the woman a way to not thirst again
  • The Samaritans who came to see Jesus they offered for Him to stay with them – even though He wasn’t one of them.
  • The disciples would have stayed as well.
  • They welcomed Jesus and the 12, provided for them until they were ready to leave.
  • Hospitality is extended to strangers, those on the outside, and reciprocal – Jesus began the conversation – was a stranger to them, they ended up welcoming Him in.

 


Who are the Samaritans of our day?

 

Leader note:  Make a list of those considered outsiders from church goers, those people normally avoided or kept at a distance.

  • Immigration
  • Muslims
  • homosexuals
  • abortion doctors
  • abortion recipients
  • rapists, addicts
  • homeless
  • mentally disabled
  • criminals

 

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES


What does it look like extend fearless hospitality to those on considered to be “on the outside”?

Leader tip:  Consider people who would be like the woman at the well (and the rest of the Samaritans), and Jesus and the disciples in a strange land?

 

  • Help the most offensive
  • Stopping to help people broken down on the side of the road
  • Helping at the medical clinic – dirty mouths, contagious,
  • People caring for HIV patients, especially before it was really clear on how you got infected
  • Foster families/safe families/adoption of special need kids, troubled kids
  • Tutoring undocumented immigrants


What are the obstacles to practicing fearless hospitality to those who are different from us?

 

  • Time
  • Fear
  • Money
  • It’s uncomfortable
  • Not sure what could help

 


What does it look like to receive fearless hospitality from those on the outside?

 

Leader note:  One major point of hospitality as highlighted in the verses above is that it is reciprocal.  What would it look like to be offered something that serves a need from someone on the list you made?

Commentary:  One woman in a life group is helping her friend walk the journey of cancer and cancer treatments.  The friend is Hispanic, understands very little English, yet welcomes the group member into her home.  The group members helps round up furniture, rides to chemo, fill out insurance forms, prays in English for the friend, and the friend’s mom cooks for all the helpers.  It’s a beautiful story of fearless hospitality. 

 


APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES


What would it look like for you to practice fearless hospitality?

 

Leader note:  Look at hospitality from all the descriptions you’ve identified, including the reciprocity of it.  Have your group consider what they could move at this and who they might already have in mind.

 

What obstacles get in your way?

Leader note:  At this point, have your group help work around the obstacles they face.  Can you help each other?  Do it as a group? 

 

LIVE IT OUT

 


What would be different in our community if we all lived with fearless hospitality?

 

PRAY:  As you end your time together, pray for the people who have shown you hospitality in the past.  Pray to be given opportunities this week to extend and receive fearless hospitality, and to be open to all that means for you, your family, and your home.  Pray if there are attitudes and biases that get in the ways of extending hospitality, that God will reveal them, and speak the truth to you, abolishing and tearing down obstacles from living out all He has asked you to do.

 

 

 

 

Luke 18:18-30 // Fearless Generosity Wk 3

Date:  March 2-3, 2013
Series:  Fearless Generosity
Message:  Don’t Bank On It
Passage:  Luke 18:18-30

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

What would change someone’s belief about a Christian?  Knowing their doctrine or seeing them be generous?

Leader note:  There are people who believe both sides of this – is it just one or the other?  Both?  How much of each one?

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

Observation:  Read Luke 18:18-30.  What do you learn about the heart of the rich young ruler?

Leader note:  You may want to look at the parallel passage in Mark 10:17-27 as well as there are some additional descriptions.

Commentary:

  • Fixed on earthly things
  • Sacrifice to a point – there is a boundary
  • His version of what gives him eternal life was – keep money and have eternal life by being obedient
  • Is it working for him?  Yes and no – He thinks so, “I’ve kept these things since I was a little boy”  (Kept the relationship with others commandments) but didn’t keep the relationship to God commandment.  (God gets first place, etc)
  • Coming to Jesus and asking because he’s not super self-confident that it’s working. He’s hoping Jesus would affirm what he’s doing.  He thinks he’s good – that’s why Jesus stings him with that.

 

What is the rich young ruler’s god?

  • Money
  • Jesus asks him to walk away from the rival god and he can’t.
  • He thinks it brings happiness but separates him for God – makes him sad

What do you learn about money?

  • Rival God – because Jesus says so.
  • Gives satisfaction
  • Status
  • Safety
  • Somebody, (if you have a lot of money you’re not just smart you’re everything)
  • Money can create distance from God
  • True treasure is in heaven
  • The people around him needed to hear this also, because people believe if you’re young, good looking, and wealthy (by our definition this is a blessed)
  • They need to believe that, it makes sense

 

What makes someone generous?

  • When you’re generous it’s because you understand the treasure in heaven
  • Hands open vs. clenching
  • Difference between commandments- heart issue
  • Fully integrated into your life
  • Everything – all in

UNDERSTAND – 20 MINUTES

 

Where do we see where money controls people and they’re blind to it?

Leader note:  Remember to consider those who both have a lot of money and those who are struggling to make ends meet.  Either way – they are most likely looking to money as what will save them, help them, get them through, provide safety and security, is the answer, is worth a sacrifice to get, etc.

  • First answer to any problem is money – money is the solution
  • Pressure put on kids, education
  • Rich people problems – people wanting the money, storage units, boats, garages
  • Problems in relationships
  • Politics
  • Influence
  • Power
  • Those in financial need – looking to money to solve all problems, “if only I had their money, more money, enough money”

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Where do you feel you are generous in your life?  What principle do you struggle with?

Leader note:  Ask the questions in this order as so many people run to the negative.  Help them find answers to both questions.  A good follow up question is, what is something in your life you couldn’t give up if you were asked to?  Or, if everything you owned today was gone tomorrow, including savings for retirement, for kids’ college what would you miss most? 

What would it look like to give that up freely?  What holds you back?

Leader note:  Your group may answer this question as part of what they struggle with.  If not, this is another way to try to help them answer what is holding them back from fearless generosity.

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would change in our community if we were able to live a fearlessly generous, “all in” lifestyle?

 

 

Luke 17:1-10 // Fearless Generosity Wk 2


Date:  February 23-24, 2013
Series:  Fearless Generosity
Message:  A Scandalous Generosity
Passage:  Luke 17:1-10

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

When was a time you received some unexpected money (or generous gift) “just in the nick of time”?

Leader note:  The objective here is to get your group to start identifying what it means to either be forgiven a debt, have a debt paid – but in a surprising way, or to receive an extravagant gift (like a vacation, or retreat, or even material gift that saved them from having to buy it themselves). 

 

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Read Luke 17:1-10.  What do you learn about fearless forgiver?

Leader note:  Have your group talk about who is asking the question, the response, the parable Jesus tells, the whole situation, not just the parable as it will give insight to a bigger picture than just forgiving a certain number of times.

 

Commentary:

  •  
  • It’s something we’re supposed to do (in the parable we are compared to the servant)
  • Something we should do out of gratitude
  • Forgiveness no matter how many times
    •                7 times a day
    •                7 x 70
  • The stakes get bigger each time they come back for forgiveness, it gets harder, and we forgive less
  • Requires faith  – big faith for forgiving big offense
  • Great forgiveness requires great faith
  • Forgiveness is for me
  • If we don’t forgive we cause others to stumble – Watch out!
  • We can rebuke them
    •                Calling out the truth, the offense, the hurt, the pain (don’t dismiss, but don’t take them out and shoot them.) 

 

There is a scale of rebuking that goes from severe (taking them out and shooting them) and pretending it never happened, or dismissing it all together.                                               

  • Rebuke, have to have both truth and grace
  •                Basis is love – isn’t to be right, find justice, not “we need to agree on the facts”– want loving relationship, heart of reconciliation

 

What are things people do that requires us to forgive?

  • Lie, deceive, steal
  • Abuse – take away innocence, dignity, name, value
  • Take away relationships
  • Disappoint

 

Why should we forgive?

  • Ends the cycle of retribution – change the world
  • Intimacy with God
  • Radically different way of doing things
  • If you don’t you die, bitter root that grows, becomes a cancer

                                   

  • Doesn’t take fearless generosity to be on either side of the scale
  • Releasing the person from the hurt that they’ve caused you
  • I relieve my hurt and can release the person from the hurt they’ve caused

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

What obstacles keep people from forgiving?

  • Been burned before
  • Want to be right, vindication, proved right, what’s fair
  • Want justice
  • There’s pain, sometimes it’s hard to let it go, if I was understood
  • Holding forgiveness as a protection
  • Sense of power by holding onto forgiveness, lose power when you forgive
  • Have to own up to something if you forgive, have to admit your part, be vulnerable,
  • Before you forgive you get to be “right”, better than all others,
  • already feel small, I have to “admit” they are bigger than me, I will cease to be

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Which one of the obstacles do you struggle with?

Leader note:  Look at the list you created in the previous question and talk about one or more than stand between you and forgiving someone who wronged you.  The previous question may actually have been a tip off to you on people’s obstacles – they may talk about them in the third person when they are really struggling with it themselves. 

 

What would it look like for you to let go of it?

Leader note:  One way to think about this would be to consider both parties in the situation.  What would the relief to the offender look like?  Does it matter?  What do you carry around because you can’t, or won’t forgive?

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would it look like if we said the cycle of not forgiving stops here?

Exodus 3:1-4:17 // Fearless Generosity Wk 1

Date:  February 16-17, 2013
Series: Fearless Generosity
Message:  Afraid to Let Go
Passage:  Exodus 3:1-4:17

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

When was a time you had to do something and didn’t feel qualified?

Or

How did you feel on the first day of your first job?

 

Leader note:  We’ve all had those times.  Whether it was your first day on the job, or as a kid doing a science project for your class, or a job someone pushed you towards, or maybe giving a presentation and you didn’t feel like you were the right one to give it.  Maybe it was babysitting a baby that couldn’t be consoled, or being picked to be on a sports team that you hadn’t practiced up for. 

 

OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES

 

Read Exodus 3:1-4:17.  What do you learn about God’s call and Moses’ response? 

 

Brief summary of Moses’ life up to this point:  The Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses ordered the death of all Hebrew children, Moses’ mother places the baby Moses into a basket up river from Pharaoh’s daughter who rescues Moses, takes him to Pharaoh who orders a Hebrew woman (happens to be Moses’ mother) to care for the child in his courts – help raise the boy.  In his youth, Moses kills an Egyptian while protecting his brother Aaron and must flee Pharaoh’s courts.  He runs to Midian, works for Jethro, marries Jethro’s daughter Zipporah.  Zipporah had Moses’ son, Gershom.  All this time the Israelites remained in slavery in Egypt, the king of Egypt had died, God remembered his covenant to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob (to bring them out of slavery and make them a great nation and decided it was time to act.  That brings us to this passage.

 

Leader note:  Pay extra attention to the part of the passage that deals with God’s calling Moses and Moses’ response to that call as that is what the next couple of questions deal with.  There are a lot of answers in this long passage, so be sure to allow enough time to go through it.

 

Commentary:  Some of the things that your group should see in the passage are:

  • Moses was a shepherd for his father-in law
  • God came to him in the form of a burning bush (vs. 4)
  • God called Moses by name
  • Moses responded “Here I am!”
  • God identifies himself as the God of Moses’ ancestors.
  • Moses was afraid to look at God
  • God tells Moses about the “Promised Land”
  • God says “YOU must lead my people”
  • Moses protested “Who am I?” (He says it twice in vs. 11)
  • God says “I will be with you”
  • God told him of the first sign he would give Moses after he led the people out of Egypt
  • Moses protests again asking who he should say sent him when they ask.
  • God replies to Moses “I AM WHO I AM”  “Yahweh (eternal name), the God of your ancestors has sent me to you.”
  • God told Moses to gather the elders of Israel and tell them of the plan to escape the oppression of Egypt and go to the Promised Land.
  • God tells Moses the elders will accept the message.
  • God tells Moses he must appear before the king of Egypt and tell him they need to leave to offer sacrifices, God lets Moses know that he will use miracles to prove to the king that they need to go and he will finally let them.
  • God says he will “cause” the Egyptians to look favorably on Moses and the Israelites and they will even give them gifts when they leave.  They will strip the Egyptians of their wealth.
  • Moses protested again by saying “they won’t believe me”
  • God turned Moses’ shepherd’s staff into a snake and back again and told Moses to perform that sign for the people.
  • God turned Moses’ hand into one inflicted with leprosy and then restored it and told Moses to perform that sign for the people.
  • God told Moses for a third sign he should poor water from the Nile River and that the water will turn to blood.
  • Moses protested again saying he wasn’t good with words and would get tongue-tied.
  • God reminded Moses it was He that made his mouth.
  • Moses protested again and pleaded that God send someone else.
  • God finally agrees to let Moses’ brother Aaron speak to the people for Moses, but reminded Moses that the words he used would come from God to Moses and then Moses to Aaron.
  • God told Moses “you will stand in the place of God for him” meaning Moses would tell Aaron what to say as God was telling him.

 

What made Moses think he wasn’t up for what God called him to?
 

Leader note:  For this particular question review the history of Moses’ life up until this passage as well.  It was as much based on his history, how he felt he failed in Egypt, he was a murderer, had to run, as it did with what he told God in this passage.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

Where have you seen people hindered because of their past or perceived inadequacies?

Leader note:  Think of people who experienced divorce and avoid commitment, or feel as though a past sin renders them useless to God – or anyone else for that matter.  Maybe they dropped out of school, or suffered an injury, or feel inferior for any reason.  It could be someone in your family, or circle of influence, if that’s the case, don’t use names.

 

How can the promises God gives Moses encourage them?

 

Leader note:  God reminds Moses that He created Him exactly as He wanted for him to be able to accept this call.  God reveals the power Moses would take with Him.  God reminds Moses that it is Him that will equip and accompany him, Moses wouldn’t be doing it in his power, or in his name.  God reminds Moses that he is the right person.

 

What kind of people does God use?

 

Leader note:  Consider people you have come in contact with who have either ministered to you, or you see them engaging others.  What are the qualities they have?  Do you know their history?  What from their history might have held them back, but didn’t   God uses all kinds of people – and pretty much everyone is broken or damaged by something in their past.  It is how they view God that determines if it hinders or compels them to engage.

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

What is the dream God has given you?  What keeps you from engaging?

 

Leader note:  You can rephrase the first question to, “What has God put on your heart, or what’s your passion?  Or what is God calling you to?” 

Help each person identify a sort of nudging, or even loud call from God to something in their life.  Mentoring.  Working with couples.  Ministering to the marginalized.  Community reconciliation.  Global interests.  Personal relationships that need restoring, forgiving, reconciling.  New opportunities.  Commitments.

Leader note:  Then have them look into their past, where they see failures, inadequacies, limitations, and have them own that reason, say it out loud like Moses did.

 

How can God’s promises to Moses encourage you to engage?

 

Leader note:  You may want to remind your group of those you highlighted in the previous question who moved past their inadequacies, or perceived limitations to engage in their calling, job, marriage, opportunities.  Remind them to not let past failures or fear of the future render them useless to the Lord.  God doesn’t see it that way.  He created them perfectly to embrace whatever He calls them to.

 

Pray:  Take the final moments of your group’s time together to pray.  Ask God to make his prompting clear to each of your members.  Pray that they will know that as with Moses, God will be with them, God has designed them for the task at hand, and as they undertake the purpose He has given.  Thank God for his faithfulness, the resources He equips us with, and the support of your group as you take on new responsibilities and challenges.

 

Live it Out

 

In the next year, what would change in our community if we were all to embrace the dream God has given us?

 

Leader note:  Mariners Church will be hosting a “Dream Event” April 21.  This is a great opportunity for those wanting to dig deeper into finding their dream or living it out.  Consider attending this event as a group. 

 

 

Romans 8:1-17 // Relationology Wk 5

Date:  February 8-9, 2013
Series:  Relationology
Message:  It’s Not You, It’s Me
Passage:  Romans 8:1-17

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES
 

What are things you see around you that will never change?

Leader note:  You can use this time to talk about the wonders of the world, creation, or anything you see that stays the same.

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 


Read Romans 8:1-17.  What is God doing in your spouse’s life?  Friend’s life?  Roommate?  Sibling?  Parents?

Leader note:  Personalize your answers this way, “In _________ life, God is…”

Leader note:  Take the scripture in pieces, 5 or 6 verses at a time.

Commentary – some sample answers:

God is removing all condemnation, changing her desires, giving her life and peace
he’s bringing freedom
he’s bringing clarity to the future
he’s teaching her to depend on the spirit
God is transforming Gary to live in freedom
Strengthening her spirit
Giving her patience
God is showing him what is really important
God is bringing Ron freedom from condemnation
God is giving him the desires of the spirit
Teaching her how to be faithful
God is releasing her of the control of the sinful nature has had on her heart
God is transforming his to live in the Spirit, and agree with the Spirit, live according, governed by (ruled and directed)
God is telling him every day he is a loved child of God
God is making her glorious
God is teaching him that he doesn’t need to live in fear.
God is teaching him to be released from the shame of the past.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES


How does this make you feel about your spouse or the person you highlighted in the previous question?

Leader note:  As your group is sharing their opinion, feelings toward the person they see God transforming should be changing, becoming stronger and more loving.

Sample answers:

I want to be part of it, encourage it.
I want him to know it and to know that I believe it.

 

How does this make you feel about God?

Loving.  He’s involved.  He’s a better friend that I am. 

How are you celebrating what God is doing?  How could you celebrate on it more?   How have you been blind?

I see Him spending time in God’s Word, He is leaving more in the Spirit.
Where are you celebrating
Through seeing God transform her from living from the spirit of the flesh – getting out of debt.
God is speaking and he is listening more and more in his life and aware of His presence.

   

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

Affirm the transformation you see in that person (spouse, friend, sibling, parent).   

What would help you to notice what God is doing in his/her life on a regular basis?  Making it a lifestyle?

 

Leader note:  Some ways to make this time special –  Write a poem, letter, note, note to this person…

 

LIVE IT OUT

What would happen to our community if people saw us living this truth in our marriages, relationships. 

Genesis 2:18-24 // Relationology Wk 4

Date:  February 2-3, 2013
Series:  Relationology
Message:  Be Her Hero
Passages:  Genesis 2:18-24, Deuteronomy 33:29, Psalm 33:20

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES


Read Genesis 2:18-24.  What do you learn about the man and woman?


Leader note:  Encourage your group to talk about all of the words used for man and woman, their responsibilities and the intended role for each.

 

Read Deuteronomy 33:29, Psalm 20:2 and Psalm 33:20.  What do you learn about the words “help” or “helper”?

 

Leader note:  For this question you will want to ensure you are using the NIV translation, otherwise the word helper is translated a little differently (not incorrectly, just not using the term “helper”)

Leader note: If this is not revealed in your observation of the passages, give this further definition of “help” and “helper”. 

In Hebrew, the word for helper used in Genesis 2:18 and 20,  is ezer, and it is only used in the Old Testament in the context of vitally important and powerful assistance.  Ezer is a combination of two roots, meaning “to rescue, to save”, and ”strength”.

Ezer describes aspects of God’s character – he is our strength, our rescuer, our protector  and our help.   And ezer was the Holy Spirit’s choice of word to describe the first woman.  Eve was someone who would provide valuable and vital strength and assistance to Adam.

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

What are ways people misconstrue, or misuse the word “helper”, or misrepresent the woman’s role?

 


Leader note:  Steer your group to discuss how culture has defined the woman’s role – in marriage, church and their communities – try to divert discussion from bashing a particular gender or group.  It’s fine to discuss different religious cultures and beliefs, but don’t let this time be focused only on that, the main purpose of this discussion is to understand the intended role for women and the difference it could make if others recognized it as well.

 

What would it look like if women fulfilled the intended purpose of “helper” in marriage?  In their communities?

 

Leader note:  If you look at the definitions from the passages – helper is defined as valuable strength, rescuer, complementary and suitable, supporter and protector.  Talk about how these attributes, the same ones used to describe God’s character and relationship to us, affect relationships, marriages, even responsibilities in their communities. 

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 


Where in your life has a woman fulfill the role of “helper”? 

 

Leader note:  You will be asking different questions to the men and women in your group. 

 

Men:  How have you, even subtly, misconstrue the word “helper” or a woman’s role? 

 

How can you encourage or affirm the “helper(s)” in your life?


Leader note:  If you are in a couple’s group you may want to have the men affirm their spouse with one or more of the words that describe helper from the passages, and how he sees her model that in their marriage and family.  If you have a men’s group, you may want to have them write notes to their wives, or others who have fulfilled the role of helper. 

 

Women:  How have you, even subtly, deviated from being a “helper”? 

 


Leader note:  You may have women who have willingly taken on a “lesser” or subservient role in various aspects of relationships as it is easier, or they have misunderstood their role.  Maybe they have even judged other women for choices to be stay-at-home moms, or on the other end of the spectrum – for choosing to work.  These are all ways people dishonor the intention of the role of woman.

 

In what ways can you be a “helper” in your marriage?  Family?  Church?  Community?

 

LIVE IT OUT

 

What would change in our families and communities is we embraced the intended roles of man and woman?

 

 

I John 4:9-10 // Relationology Wk 3

Date:  January 26-27, 2013
Series:  Relationology
Message: Marriage by Design
Passages:  Various

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

What are the best romantic movie lines?

 Leader note:  This should just be fun.  One way would be to read some from the list below and see if people can guess the movie.  Or you can just let people shout out the lines they remember. 

  • “You had me at ‘hello’” Jerry Maguire
  • “I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you”  Dirty Dancing
  • The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That’s what I hope to give you forever.”  The Notebook
  • “I love you. You… you complete me.” Jerry Maguire
  • “I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”  When Harry Met Sally
  • “No, I don’t think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That’s what’s wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how.”  Gone with the Wind
  • ““Oh, it’s nobody’s fault but my own! I was looking up… it was the nearest thing to heaven! You were there…”  An Affair to Remember
  • “Love is not a feeling, it’s an ability.”  Dan in Real Life
  • “You make me want to be a better man.”  As Good as it Gets
  • “I will love you my whole life.  You and no other.”  Braveheart
  • “If I had one more night to live, I would want to spend it with you.”  Pearl Harbor

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Read the following passages.  What do you learn about God’s covenant love?

Leader note:  As your group members answer follow up with, “Where do you see that?”  Or, “What does that mean to you?” so that they can put it in their own words.  Others can jump into the discussion and help them define as they read it.  Remember this is a discussion, not one-on-one q&a. 

 

Jeremiah 31:3

  • Everlasting
  • Never fails
  • Draws, compels us towards it

Ephesians 1:4-5

  • Before love – He knew in advance- love for you was a before (before love), ugly, sad, good,  – it was decision He made
  • Brought us to Himself through Jesus
  • Gave him pleasure
  • God’s choice
  • Nothing we did, not based on what we do, no performance clause

 

Psalms 139:15-16

  • He knows me completely
  • Every choice, how long I’ll live,
  • I’m valuable
  • Created you – made your hair, your eyes, cute personality, your smile
  • He never hides from you, and you can’t hide from Him
  • God chose you and will continue to choose you no matter what
  • God choosing you is bigger than you choosing against Him

 1 John 4:9-10

  • Reveals His love
  • Gave up His only Son
  • Sacrificed Him for us
  • Loves me even when I don’t love Him back
  • God gave up someone He loves a lot, His son,
  • God’s love makes us alive
  • Even when others are mad, God still loves

 

 

UNDERSTANDING – 20 MINUTES

 

What is the difference between a contract and covenant?

Leader note:  Make a list of what you know about each – remember to look at the advantages and disadvantages of each.  There is a follow up question to remind you to do that. 

 

Contracts

  • Can be broken when one person doesn’t live up to their end
  • If this –  then that
  • Have to be agreed upon
  • Engage the service of people
  • Guaranteed by law
  • Expire
  • Performance based

 

Covenant

  • Eternal, Forever
  • Engage the people
  • Can’t be broken
  • Guaranteed by God
  • Everyone is included

 In relationships today, what are examples of contract thinking?

Leader note:  As you think about this question, consider contrasting God’s covenant love with all other views of love there are.  Some words that might get you thinking are “conditional” and “convenient”

  • Score keeping
  • I didn’t agree to this
  • You’ve changed, right to renegotiate – or leave altogether
  • You’re not living up to your end of the bargain
  • At work, lose job
  • Performance in sports – underperform can lose contract, over-perform renegotiate
  • Pre-nups
  • What I have to do/obligated
  • Entitled, it’s part of the deal

 

 

What’s good about contracts?

  • Security in contract
  • More clarity
  • Stick with something you might not otherwise
  • They are more convenient

 

What’s the bad part of covenant love?

 

  • Fear on covenant side – want credit, guilt themselves because they can’t give back
  • Guilt – self atonement
  • Can’t feel bad enough long enough

 

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

In your primary relationships where are you contract in your thinking?  Where are you “covenant” in your thinking?

 

Leader note:  For married couples, have them consider their own marriage.  If you think it will bring out more vulnerable and honest answers you can have the couples discuss this last question together.

 LIVE IT OUT

 

What would happen around us if we looked at all of our relationships as “covenant”?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

James 1:19-20, 3:3-9 // Relationology Wk 2

Date:  January 19-20, 2013
Series:  Relationology
Message:  Words With Friends
Passages:  James 1:19-20 and James 3:3-9

Life group leader teaching moment:

Remember, you cannot take people further than you are spiritually. You may be able to give them truth, but to direct and guide someone through spiritual growth or transformation you have to bring the truths through your own life first.  You can’t ask someone to do what you haven’t done – in other words, the messenger and the message are one in the same.  Jesus couldn’t just say – “you must lay down your life” without doing it Himself.  Jesus couldn’t just talk about serving or loving others, He had to live it first.  He was the messenger of an embraced message.  To bring your group members to the next level, you need to experience it first.

 

INTRODUCTION – 5 MINUTES

 

Who would you say are better listeners – men? Or women?   Why do you think that?

Important Leader note:  For this entire discussion, you want to protect married couples from finger-pointing, or taking these prompts to accuse one another.  Instead, keep the discussion general – you may even want to instruct your group to not include the relationships in the group at this point, but only those they’ve witnessed or understand to be true.

Leader note:  This should get a fun debate going regardless of the dynamics of your group.  The general consensus among women is that they are the best listeners, while men oftentimes think they listen better and women talk more.  What does your group think?

 

 

OBSERVATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Read James 1:19-20, 3:3-9

What do you learn can build or destroy relationships from the following passages?

 

Commentary:

James 1:19-20

Build-

  • Be quick to listen
  • Slow to speak
  • Be slow to anger (anger does not produce the righteousness God desires)

James 3:3-9

  • The tongue can build or destroy relationships, depending on how it is used.
  • The tongue is small part of the body, corrupts whole body set course on fire
  • Tongue is a restless evil
  • We praise with it and curse with it
  • Words- evil, hurt people, rudder of ship, Spark of fire

What are words, or ways words curse others?

Important Leader note:  For this entire discussion, you want to protect married couples from finger-pointing, or taking these prompts to accuse one another.  Instead, keep the discussion general – you may even want to instruct your group to not include the relationships in the group at this point, but only those they’ve witnessed or understand to be true.  (This is repeated on purpose)

 

Commentary:   Hurtful words, arrogant, unchecked, insulting, unwise, blaming, mean, misdirected, evil, selfish

 

UNDERSTANDING – 25 MINUTES

 

What are ways people have listened to you well?  How did that build your relationship?

Leader Note:   What you want to accomplish with this question is having your group see the value in listening.  These passages from James not only highlight the destruction of words, but the value and listening, that listening is critical to a relationship – just as much as avoiding cursing the other person, using hurtful or destructive words. It is definitely a both/and, don’t let your group focus on one side of the spectrum. It’s important that each person in your group shares a story of being listened to, that is how they will really understand the value of listening – involved listening, not casual listening.

  • Listening can be valuable even without giving advise (sometimes listening is more valuable than the advice)- felt understood
  • Being present…not speak, just pray for me, just be on my side
  • Asking great engaging questions shows compassion and caring
  • Listening is learning about the person, what is being said, how you feel, not giving advice, presence and full attention,
  • Listening is slow, takes time, understanding the person more than the issue, give appropriate response- not try and solve,
  • Nonverbal communication, empathetic, repeat what say that shows understanding.
  • Temptation is to making it about your experience and not helpful…makes about listener not hearer. Action can show support

 

What are ways people “cheapen” listening?  How does that destroy the relationship, or possibility of relationship?

Some sample answers:

  • When we have agendas, we listen only waiting for a way to turn the conversation to us, or our agenda.
  • We throw out cheap words, but don’t give you time.  We ask, “How are you?” but don’t wait for the answer, and hope the answer is “fine” so we don’t have to engage.
  • We multi-task in our heads while someone is talking, not giving them our full attention.
  • This destroys relationships because people don’t feel like you care, you may come across as arrogant, flippant, or like you don’t have time for them.
  • How do you feel when not listened to?

 

 

APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES

 

Where has the power of words lifted you up and built your relationship?

 

Leader note:  Try to have everyone answer this question to help them understand the power of affirming and words that bless.

  • Affirmations at birthdays
  • They ask question….do the next, care beyond the first “how are you?”
  • Someone saying I inspire them
  • A message left on a phone that they are grateful for me in their life.
  • Encouragement when I started a new job

 

When was a time you either cheapened listening, or used “cursing” words with someone?  How did you see it affect your relationship?

Leader note:  This is a good time for people to self-select if they need to apologize, especially if it is to a spouse, family member or someone in the group.  Don’t let it turn into blaming, calling each other out, or condemn, this is a time of confession and restoration.  Oftentimes people have said words without thinking about the harm they could cause, believing they were being helpful, or just honest.  Let them see the power of the words, regardless of the intent and restore the relationship with an apology. 

You may have someone who feels as though they’ve been dismissive in how they have listened to others, let them self-select and apologize. 

Leader note:  As a leader, consider how you listen to your group, do you listen with the next question in mind?  Asking a follow up question is a great way for you as a leader to show you are truly listening.  If you have caught yourself cheapening how you listen in your group you may want to go first on this question, confess and tell the group how you will listen as you move forward and what you expect to happen to your relationships because of this.

FOR BLENDED GROUPS:  Where do you want to be a better listener in your life and where do you want to use words to build up?

FOR COUPLES GROUPS ONLY:  Use this time to have couples affirm one another for times they have listened well or spoken words that built each other and their relationship.  You can do this in a group setting, or have each couple split off and talking only to one another. 

FOR MEN ONLY OR WOMEN ONLY GROUPS:  write words of affirmation for someone in your life, what are you going to do differently?  Ask, “What benefits are there if we listen well and use our words well?”

 

LIVE IT OUT

What does it look like if we were better listeners and use kinder words in our community, our city?