Lean In // 5 minutes
What an item you’ve kept from your childhood?
Leader Note: Keep this question light as to engage everyone in your group. Think along the lines of toys, the baseball cards in your parents garage or stuff animal. Transition to the next question by saying something like… “while these things may be fun to think about, the reality is many of us carry things, past hurts and pains, that weigh us down. Let’s see what God’s word has to say about forgiveness.”
Look Down // 15 minutes
What do you learn about anger and forgiveness?
Sample answers may include…
- Anger often leads to sin
- Don’t allow anger to go unchecked, deal with it right away, put anger in it’s right place
- Don’t let anger run out of control in your life, don’t let it run around,
- Decide to deal with anger
- Anger gives the devil an open door into our hearts, a space and a place
- Anger grieves the Holy Spirit
- Kindness and compassion is sign of forgiveness
- Forgiveness is something we offer
- We learn what forgiveness looks like form Jesus
- We are called to forgive as Jesus forgave us
Look Out // 10 minutes
What does forgiveness look like, where have you seen it?
What does un-forgiveness look like, where have you seen it?
Leader Note: The aim of this question is to get your group thinking about where they have seen these principles play out in the real world. These questions should invite stories, and get the group thinking about the effects, both positive and negative, as they relate to forgiveness and un-forgiveness.
Look In // 20 minutes
Where have you held onto un-forgiveness?
What would it look like to forgive?
Leader Note: As you ask this question be sure to also highlight for your group what forgiveness is and what it is not. Again, be clear that this may not be the case in situation of abuse and violence.
Forgiveness is…
- Motivation: God forgave me
- You owe, I pay
- Refusing isolation, bitterness and vengence
- Trusting God to make it right
Forgiveness is not…
- Excusing, justifying or denying
- Pardoning, letting of consequences
- I heal myself, anger, taking control
- Ignoring the pain
- Reconciliation. It takes one person to forgive but two to be reconciled
This is the gospel, recognizing our part in sin and admitting that we are helpless in making ourselves clean.
This is what God has done for us… “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
This is what God calls us to do… “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionated to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:31-32
Live it Out // 5 minutes
What would change in your relationships if you lived this way?
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Learn More About Flow Questions: Check out Kenton Beshore’s book Ask in the Irvine Campus Bookstore for more on the Flow Question model.