parenting – Mariners Church Flow Questions

Art of Relationships // Wk 5 Intentional Parenting

Message Recap

This week’s message takes a look at what it means to be intentional and not only as parents, but as mentors and guides to the next generation. One of the things God calls us all to is to care for, raise up and disciple the next generation. The key elements we looked at were…

1. Having A Strong Belief – Mark 9:36-37

2. Beginning With The End Mind – Psalms 90:12

3. Encouraging Words – Proverbs 12:18, 12:6

4. Genuine Affection – Romans 12:10

5. Serious Fun – Proverbs 17:22

6. Delicate Discipline – Proverbs 3:11-12, Ephesians 6:4

Guiding Verses

Ephesians 5:1-2

1 “Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children 2 and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God“

Psalms 32:8

“I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.“

Discussion Questions

If you could join a “TV Show” family which would it be and why?
What are some things you’ve learned from your family or a mentor that you are currently, or hope to incorporate with your family?
What are some things you hope will be different?
Of the 6 elements of parenting/mentoring, which ones are you doing well and which ones do you need to grow in?

Moving Forward

Any healthy, life giving relationship requires intentionality. Health isn’t something that just happens. Rather, it’s a fruit that the Holy Spirit creates in and through us as we partner with him. Take inventory this week of the ways you see him working alongside you as well as the ways he may be prompting you turn around and change behavior that’s harmful to yourself and those around you.

To learn more about the Art of Relationships series, including how to join or host an Art of Relationships Series Group click here.

Deuteronomy 4:9-10 // What Kids Need From Caring Adults pt.3: Beautiful Mess Wk 7

Introduction // 5 minutes

What are some tips to a good vacation?

Sample answers may include…

Plan/Prepare
Budget
Book things in advance
Take lots of pictures
Be spontaneous

Observation // 10 minutes

Read Deuteronomy 4:9-10

What do you see and learn about remembering the actions of God?

Commentary: There was a divine call to Israel to remember the Lord’s past redemptive acts—especially how he delivered them from slavery in Egypt. It is a common theme in Deuteronomy (see 5:15; 7:18; 8:2, 18; 9:7, 27; 11:2; 15:15; 16:3, 12; 24:9, 18, 22; 25:17). The call to remember had a significant impact on shaping Israel’s identity.

Sample answers may include

Don’t forget what God has done (v. 9)
God memories are to stay with you for life (v. 9)
There is a susceptibility to forget (v. 9)
It is important to capture a memory so it can be passed on to future generations (vv. 9, 10)
God creates memories that are seen and felt (v. 9)
Closely watch your life and how God has acted (v. 9)
The actions of God are not just for that person but also for others (v. 10)

Understanding // 10 minutes

What are some of the more memorable moments in a person’s life?

Where do you see people (or parents) creating positive memories for others (or kids)? Where have you seen the opposite?

Leader Note: In this week’s message, we learned how parents are able to create positive memories through various avenues like taking family vacations and being playful. Help your group identify some of the ways they have seen parents and others create positive memories. Also, help your group see the impact of positive and negative memories in a person’s life.

What are some of the ways these memories and stories get passed on to others?

Application // 15 minutes

Where are you creating positive memories for others?

What would it look like to:

Make up traditions?
Capture memories?
Prioritize vacations?
Create adventures?
Write letters?

Leader Note: There are many ways to create memories but it is often the intentional memories that make the most impact. The categories listed above are some practical suggestions to create intentional memories. Challenge your group to write these categories down and come up with ways to make memories for their kids and others.

Live It Out // 5 minutes

What would happen if we were intentional about creating positive memories for our kids and others? How will it shape their life? How will it shape our life?

Prayer: Heavenly Father, we remember all of the ways you have intentionally acted on our behalf and we offer you thanks. We thank you most of all for the giving of your son, Jesus. Help us to understand that we have opportunities to create positive memories and stories for others as well as negative ones. We ask for wisdom to create positive memories and grace for when we fall short. We also ask for the power of your Holy Spirit to work in and through our lives so that we might point others to you. In Jesus’ name we pray, amen.

Ephesians 6:1-4 // What Kids Need From Caring Adults pt.2: Beautiful Mess Wk 6

Introduction // 5 minutes

What company has the best rewards program?

Sample answers may include…

Coffee Shops
Restaurants
Retailers
Banks

Observation // 10 minutes

Read Ephesians 6:1-4

What do we learn about God’s instructions for children and parents?

Leader Note: Throughout our lives, this passage remains true. We are called to honor our father and mother at all stages of life. There is even a promise attached to the instruction. The passage also contains wisdom for the way parents are to bring up their children.

Sample answers may include

Children are to obey their parents, which includes both mother and father (v. 1)
Children are to ‘honor their father and mother’ as instructed in the Ten Commandments (v. 2)
There is a promise associated with honoring the father and mother (v. 2), which includes ‘enjoying long life on earth’ (v. 3)
Obeying parents is the ‘right’ thing to do (v. 1)
Dads (parents) are not to exasperate (provoke or upset) their children (v. 4)
Parents are to raise their children with training and instruction they learn from the Lord (v. 4)
There is a contrast between dads (parents) provoking their children and raising them in the way of the Lord

Understanding // 10 minutes

Where do you see people receiving honor in our world?

What does ‘honoring your father and mother’ look like today? Where have you seen it done well or not done well?

Commentary: The Scriptures admonishes us to honor our parents which means to hold them with the highest respect. So, while the ways we honor parents may change, the substance of love and high respect remains the same.

What do you see are healthy forms of teaching and instructing children? Where have you seen it practiced?

Leader Note: This question will generate a broad spectrum of response, as there are various forms of discipline. It is easy to get caught up with the techniques rather than the heart behind it. Remind the group that the ‘training and instruction’ we receive from our Heavenly Father always comes from a place of love.

Application // 15 minutes

In what ways are you honoring (or have honored) your father and mother?

What could it look like to show others how to honor their father and mother?

Leader Note: There is great value in honoring our parents. Not only is there a promise of blessing attached to it, but it can also be reflective of our relationship with God. When we honor our parents, we honor God’s teaching and instruction.

Live It Out // 5 minutes

What if we were known for the way we honored our parents and raised our children? How will it affect other relationships?

Prayer: Spend time praying and reflecting on the passage. As you pray, identify the areas of need (missed opportunities, brokenness, pain, anxiety, sadness, etc.) and ask God to bring what is needed (comfort, peace, joy, hope, love, etc.). Also, remind your group of God’s great faithfulness and His ability to redeem and reconcile relationships—to bring beauty out of the mess.

Ephesians 5:1-2 // What Kids Need From Caring Adults pt.1: Beautiful Mess Wk 5

Introduction // 5 minutes

Who is your celebrity look a like?

Leader Note: Keep this light and engaging. If you someone can’t think of one for themselves ask others in the group to offer suggestions in a fun lighthearted manner.

Observation // 10 minutes

Read Ephesians 5:1-2

What does it look like to follow God’s example?

Leader Note: We have a heavenly model when it comes to relationships, be it parenting or any other relationship. This passage tells us to watch what God does, learn from it and then imitate what we see.

Sample answers may include

Involves all of who we are (v.1)
It’s relational; we do what we see him do as our father (v.1)
Life filled with love, not a one time thing but ongoing (v.1)
To be filled with love (v.2)
Puts love into action through selfless, sacrificial living (v.2)
Living in a way that pleased God, worshipful living (v.2)

Understanding // 10 minutes

What are some things you’ve learned from your family growing up that you are now, or hope to incorporate with your family?

What are some things you hope will be different?

Leader Note: This question may be difficult for your group to answer. Handle this section with care and make time to pray into areas of brokenness and pain at the end of your discussion.

Application // 15 minutes

Where are you following Christ’s example of love in your relationships?

Where aren’t you and what steps can you take to make a change?

Live It Out // 5 minutes

What if we lived out Christ’ example in our relationships? What would the impact be?

Prayer: Spend time thanking God for the example of perfect, self giving love seen in Christ. Pray for healing where other models of love have caused pain or shame. Pray for God’s Holy Spirit to enable us to understanding more fully Christ’s love for us that we may be able to express it in all of our relationships.