Date: May 25 – 26, 2013
Series: Christian?
Message: How Far Is Too Far?
Passage: Romans 13:8-10
INTRODUCION – 10 MINUTES
When it comes to driving… would you consider yourself to be a rule follower, rule bender, or rule breaker and why?
Leader note: The question is designed to show us that we all tend to make exceptions to certain laws. This tendency is a slippery slope, as exceptions create space for loopholes or excuses to justify our actions.
OBSERVATION – 15 MINUTES
Read Romans 13:8-10
What do you learn about the law in this passage?
Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)
- It is a laundry list of “should” and “shouldn’t,” i.e. commit adultery, murder, and theft
- By itself, the law does not fulfill all that God requires of us
- The law creates boundaries
What do you learn about love in this passage?
Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)
- It fulfills the law
- Love brings freedom
- Love is a debt
- It does not harm its neighbor
- You must love yourself in order to love others
- Love brings grace to the law
- Love is the foundation of every law
Leader tip: Guide your group to recognize that the law alone leads to condemnation, while love leads to freedom. When unrestrained by love, the law becomes an unwinnable trapping of legalism and bondage. The intent of the law is to lead us to love one another with a spirit of grace and freedom; therefore, the way we interpret the law shows us the true state of our hearts.
UNDERTANDING – 20 MINUTES
Where have you seen people make excuses to not love others?
Leader note: The aim of this question is to reveal that, at some level, we all feel that love has limits. Some people are, “deserving,” while others are, “undeserving.”
Commentary: (some of the answers your group should find)
- Criminals
- Abusers
- Addicts
- People on the other side of the political spectrum
- Our own family
- People who have let us down
- When it’s “inconvenient”
- When we can’t control their response
- When we don’t get anything in return
- People who cost us time, energy, resources to love/sacrifice for
Leaders: Examples of stories you might hear…
“I prayed for good neighbors. We forged a close relationship, but the burden of them became too heavy when their marriage blew out. They suddenly required a lot of effort; it became easier to not invite them over as much. I was tired and felt that this was not the relationship I had prayed for.”
“At age 43, my father discovered an illegitimate daughter when our family was well established. To this day, I don’t feel willing or able to forge a relationship with the girl because it feels unfair that his story impacts mine in an unfair way.”
Where have you seen people struggle to accept love?
Leader note: Not only is it difficult to express love at all times, it can also be hard to accept love or to feel like we are deserving or worthy of it. Collect personal examples here if possible.
Commentary:
- Prideful people
- A parent who abandoned their family
- People pleasers
- Performance driven individuals
- Victims
APPLICATION – 20 MINUTES
Leader note: The focus of the questions now shifts to us. The goal is to examine why it can be difficult for us to fully receive God’s love and, in turn, express it to others.
Who do you justify withholding love from?
Another way to state this question: Are there people in your life who you abstain from loving because they have hurt you, they require too much output, or they don’t deserve justice for the way they have acted?
Ex: “My sister in law did not want me to marry her brother. She openly rejected me and refused to be in our wedding. This was damaging to me and to the relationship. I was always cordial, but never felt love for her. One day I realized that at church, I bequeath God’s love on people who do not love me everyday. This disconnect caused me to question the barrier I forged with her. I prayed for God to give me a heart for her.”
What obstacle do you need to overcome to love that person?
- My need to be right
- My desire for revenge
- An attitude that says, “They are getting what they deserve”
- A judging heart
- Pride
- Control
- Fear of being hurt
How have those same obstacles affected your ability to receive God’s love?
Leader tip: There is often a connection between the obstacles we encounter in loving others and they way we receive God’s love. For example, a judgmental person may have difficultly receiving God’s love because of the way they judge themselves.
What do you need to surrender in order to receive God’s love?
Leader tip: Think of this “obstacle” idea as a mirror exercise. i.e. sometimes our obstacle in loving others is motivated by the same fear or contempt we hold for our own shortcomings. If we are not willing to love, then we have lost sight of how God loves us.
LIVE IT OUT
How would it impact the world if we fully embraced and expressed the powerful love given to us by God?
Pray over your group at the end of the session: Thank God for the love he has freely bestowed on us. Pray that we would surrender completely to God’s acceptance and forgiveness of our own shortcomings. Pray that we would gain an increased awareness of the people around us that are crying out for the unrelenting love of God and, regardless of circumstance or convenience, allow us to be bold enough to answer the call. Give us hearts that are compelled to love others as Christ has loved us.