sex – Mariners Church Flow Questions

Art of Relationships // Wk 6 Made Beautiful

Message Recap

Sex is a gift from God! Let that sink in a minute. He gave us the gift of sex for our enjoyment and so that we could fulfill his command to “be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28). Yet this wonderful gift has caused so much hurt and brokenness. You don’t have to look far to see the damage that a low view of sex and sexuality can cause. Theologian Christopher West said it best when he said that…”to find that which is most sacred in the world look to that which is most profaned.” Our sexuality, like all things on this earth is in the process of renewal. We have “been” made new in Christ and we are “being” made new. God, in His word, has shown us the design, meaning and purpose of sex. As we trust and surrender, He will bring healing, hope and freedom!

Guiding Verses

Genesis 1:26-28

26 Then God said, “Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us. They will reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, the livestock, all the wild animals on the earth, and the small animals that scurry along the ground.” 27 So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.

28 Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply. Fill the earth and govern it. Reign over the fish in the sea, the birds in the sky, and all the animals that scurry along the ground.”

1 Corinthians 6:15-20

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

18 Run from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body. 19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Discussion Questions

Tell the story about one of your scars.
What do you learn about God’s intent for sex from the message/guiding verses?
What does culture tell us about the purpose of sex?
What does it look like to live out those beliefs?
Where have you experienced brokenness in your sexuality, where have you experienced healing?
What would it look like to trust God to continue to bring healing?

Moving Forward

As we did in this weekend’s service you may want to spend more focused time praying with one-another for healing, hope and freedom. If it seems appropriate for your group consider breaking off male and female to facilitate greater sharing. Let 2 Corinthians 5:17 guide your prayer in the belief “that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” Part of embracing that new life may also meaning walking in that healing in community and care. Visit the care & recovery section of our website for a complete list of resources and groups design to provide next steps towards healing.

To learn more about the Art of Relationships series, including how to join or host an Art of Relationships Series Group click here.

Ephesians 5:15-21 // Strategy For Sex-Ess: Beautiful Mess Wk 4

Introduction // 5 minutes

What’s the best relationship advice you’ve ever received?

Sample answers may include…

Always be yourself
Honesty is the best policy
Develop good listening skills
Stand by each other no matter what

Observation // 10 minutes

Read Ephesians 5:15-21

What does wise living look like?

Sample answers may include…

Looking carefully at how you live (v.15)
Using your time well (v.16)
Living every moment with care (v.17)
Understanding what God wants you to do (v.17)
Being controlled/directed by the Holy Spirit (v.18)
Choosing to live a lifestyle of worship (v.19)
Living full of thanksgiving (v.20)
Submitting to, preferring others (v.21)

Understanding // 10 minutes

Where do you see wise living? Where don’t you see it?

Leader Note: Frame this question in the context of relationships. The aim here is for the group to consider where they see this passage in real world terms. Lead them to “look out” and think about where they’ve seen this passage on display in the lives of others.

Application // 15 minutes

Where are you currently living wisely in your relationships? Where aren’t’ you and what changes can you make?

Leader Note: You may simply ask in light of your past or your future hopes in your relationships “What’s the wise thing for me to do?” Most people have a tendency to run to the negatives – for some reason it is easier to confess relationship weaknesses than claim strengths. If your group stays on the negative, you can take this opportunity to affirm others in areas of their relationships that you have witnessed as strengths.

Commentary: It’s very easy to allow things such as pride, anger, selfishness and entitlement to direct how we live. The passage tells us that wise living is fueled by our connection to the Holy Spirit. When we are connected to the Holy Spirit we become more aware of God’s will and are empowered to live how He wants us to. We also become thankful worshippers looking to serve and prefer others above ourselves.

Live It Out // 5 minutes

What if we lived this out? How might our relationships be changed?

Leader Note: As we intentionally try to create health in our relationships, there may be resistance from the other person. If you sense this is something group members have experienced, remind them that we are to live in obedience to God through the power of the Holy Spirit. We cannot control the reactions or behaviors of others. We work to improve relationships, but the ultimate outcome is in God’s hands. Trust that He is working.

Prayer: If your group has just revealed some relationship and relational problems they have in their lives, it may be a good idea to come around them and pray for them. Pray that God will supernaturally heal those relationships that seem beyond repair and that each heart will be open to forgive and to forgiveness. Pray for willing spirits of reconciliation and cooperation in ongoing relationships.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 // Sexology: Beautiful Mess Wk 3

Introduction // 5 minutes

What are some of your favorite super bowl commercials?

Leader Note: While your group may not reference one of the more “proactive” ads (i.e. Go Daddy, Cindy Crawford/Pepsi, Kate Upton/Carl’s Jr.) try to find a natural transition from commercials and sex to set up the discussion.

Observation // 10 minutes

Read 1 Corinthians 6:12-20

What do you learn about the power of sex?

Sample Answers May Include…

Some say it’s the reason they were created (v.13)
It unites two individuals into one (v.15)
If Christ is in us we also unite Him to the other individual, in this case a prostitute (v.15)
Sexual sin is so power we must run from it (v.18)
It affects the whole person, not just the body (v.18)

What else has that kind power in the passage? Explain where you see it.

God

Reigns over food – stomach (v.13)
He created our bodies; they were made for Him (v.14)
He will raise us from the dead, just as He raised Jesus (v.14)

Our Bodies

They are parts of Christ (v.15)
Can be joined with Christ or people/prostitute (v.15)
Uniting with Christ makes us one with His spirit (v.17)
They are the very temple of the Holy Spirit, they house God! (v.18)
They have the ability to honor God (v.20)

Understanding // 15 minutes

What does the world say about sexual immorality?

Commentary: Sexual immorality relates to any sex outside of marriage or the misuse of God’s design for sex. Jesus also makes it clear that sexual immorality goes beyond the physical act and is an issue of the mind and heart, i.e. lust, fantasy, pornography (Matthew 5:28).

Sample Answers May Include

Sex doesn’t damage you, it’s your body do what you want
It’s unnatural to put your desires in a box
It’s just physical, not emotional or spiritual, there is no permanent bonding
Your body is your own, freedom to do and express
Sex is equal to our Identity
Your desires are the most important part of forming who you are

What does it look like when people live out those beliefs?

Sample Answers May Include

People view others as a means to an end for their desires
Lack of intimacy, commitment in relationships
Your urges become the most important thing
Destroys relationships, lack of trust

Application // 20 minutes

What are some practical ways for me to flee from sexual immorality?

Leader Note: While it isn’t necessary (or recommended) to have your group identify sexual sin they struggle with, you should consider ways to avoid sexual temptation that could lead to problems. Talk about business travel, movies on late night television, lack of filters on computers, etc. For singles – consider dates that end up in compromising places, talk about how you can come to an understanding with the person you are dating in regards to purity during dating. If you have time you may also consider splitting up into men and women’s groups.

Live It Out // 5 minutes

How might your relationships be impacted by your decision to live sexually pure?

Leader Note: Be sure to make it clear that while we must decide and resolve to live this way that we are incapable of making this change without the power of the Holy Spirit.

Prayer: As you end your time together pray for courage and strength to put sex in a proper view… that is as a powerful and wonderful gift given and designed by God. Pray that your desire for relationship with God and to keep control over your body will give you the incentive you need to run from sexual sin.