“how was that?” (answers here may be quite short “ok” “all right”), “how was it to other handshakes you’ve had?”, “what’s the secret to a great handshake?” (people might talk about firmness, or the context – eg who’s doing the handshake and when), “on a scale of one to ten how was it?” (usually this gets between 4 and 7), Then explain that you would like them to shake hands again …, “This time I’d like you to shake hands again but I’d like you negotiate it.”, “Do you want to shake hands with left or right hand?” [you might want to ask if there are any left handed people in the room and which hand they shake with], “Do you want to go up and down or side to side?”, “How firm do you want it to be? Sometimes being a bit ‘second handshake’ is important and some people are able to talk about sex like this. A consent workshop activity using handshakes as a way of learning about sexual consent. If you direct the discussion quite firmly you can do this in 30 minutes. • More than half of all rapes of females occur before age 18; 22% occur before the age of 12. • Adolescent girls who experience dating violence are more likely to exhibit other serious behaviors such as substance abuse, increased suicide attempts, unhealthy weight control, and risky sexual behavior. How Can We Teach Consent? Open up conversations exploring the difficulties. The Oregon Department of Education outlines what to teach: defining consent, describing how relationship power imbalances could impact personal boundaries, and being able to say—and respect hearing—no. 2 Teach them the importance of saying “no” or “stop. www.vsdvalliance.org @VActionAlliance At this point the participants will still be a bit wary of what’s going on, so you might want to keep this part of the discussion a bit shorter. I’m going to take you through two lesson plans that can work for anyone from beginners on up to experienced dancers that want to practice breaking some of these old patterns. So explain, “I’d like you to shake hands for one last time, but this time I’d like you to try and get a balance between first handshake and second handshake. Elementary schools are filled with innocent little humans who long for nurture, acceptance, and loving touch, often in the form of hugs. Teaching kids to ask “Is it okay if I…?” before touching another person is essential when we are attempting to help them understand consent. Invite people to share some stories about times when actions without consent have made them uncomfortable or created problems. Teaching teens about consent isn't an option in today's world. You might also be interested in my new training course about it here. Why? Explain to the group “This is a lesson about consent and what that means. Atlanta, GA: National Center for Injury Prevention and Control, Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 2011. When you allow your child to reject an offer of a hug, you are teaching consent. FREE (2) NSPCC Key stage 3: Lesson plan 6 - Consent. This is my fifth semester as a SHAPE facilitator, and I am still trying to figure out how to teach about consent. DO YOU and TEACH Consent are projects of the Virginia Sexual & Domestic Violence Action Alliance, Virginia's leading voice on sexual and intimate partner violence. Additionally, Kim is a writer and teacher who blogs at Tea and Intimacy; if anyone can talk consent and passion, it’s Kim. I’ve provided wording which I’ve found works for me. Three Handshakes – An activity for learning how consent feels. A kiss on the cheek (no tongues)?”, Then allow everyone who wants to to shake hands again, notice what happens in the room (there’s often more laughter and smiling, it also takes longer). 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